To be furious hospital have allowed DS to come home after overdose

Sorry this has happened OP. Reading though all of the posts, I’m wondering what support would look like? There’s a lot of criticism of CAMHS and I’m wondering what it is parents are wanting them to do. There’s no magic wand that will enable children to engage, stop self-harming etc. Genuinely and out of interest - what would you want from CAMHS?

OP can you move? I would let your house out and rent somewhere else in the short term just to get him away from these kids, the school and all the things that make him suicidal. It's very possible he's in some kind of drug debt that you don't know about and absolutely terrified. Just take him and get away. I think no mental health service will help if you stay around these people and he continues at the same school. Deregister him from school and give him a bit of a break. Nothing is worse than what he tried to do, so for now school shouldn't matter.

So sorry OP.

You need to ask your local authority for targeted support, there should be a team for harm outside the home and screening for online risks too. They will help you make a safety plan, support you with strategies and make onwards referrals for you

How does he have money for weed? Could it be county lines? Could he be in some drug debt? Whatever it is, I would deregister him from school and move (preferably permanently but at least in the short term).

OP you can’t stop someone who self harms from accessing sharp things. They make sharp things if you hide all the sharp things.

Dont beat yourself up about that.

I would get a parental control app like the paid for version of Qustodio, put that on the phone and let him have it back. Then you can monitor online activity but he gets the comfort/ security of still having his phone.

Has he had any nutritional testing? Is vit D optimum? (200nmol/L)? Ferritin at least 100 and transferrin saturation at least 20%? B12 500 or more and folate high teens? Any of those being low can have an effect. I'd make sure he's taking a basic multivitamin. This may not help in your case, but 2 x members of my family stopped being suicidal after supplementing creatine, a common gymn supplement and there is research evidence for this effect.

I'm sorry it's so tough.

Words fail me!

Of course he has got a mental health condition- he is clearly struggling with suicidal idealisation, he is engaging in self harm and has now had an overdose. People with ADHD are known to be at higher risk due to impulsivity and risky behaviours particularly when not medicalised.

Who has decided ND kids (who are actually more likely to struggle from severe MH struggles )don’t get treatment? Untreated treatable MH conditions turn into difficult to treat and very expensive for the NHS MH conditions. The dire not fit for purpose CAMHs leads to a bottle neck in adult services.

I agree with this.
Removing the phone is the right thing to do; I wouldn’t be letting him out with the friends either. I think it would be wise to pay for some private treatment whatever that may cost. Whatever you think may help. I think you’re in a situation where help will take a long time to come and it needs to be now.
best of luck to you xx

Well exactly this, Ive been and still am when necessary, very critical of CAMHS but they are a MH service, for diagnosable and treatable conditions. Much of what YP present with is not that. They cant force a client to engage with them. They cant sit there in silence when a YP wont talk

And then theres criticism of them when they ask the client why they've taken an overdose! Thats part of their assessment, even if the YP doesnt know why or wont say or cant say. Can you imagine an assessment where they said 'well I didnt bother to ask the patient why they did it'.

That’s awful. It’s a terrible situation to be stuck in.
I am not going to blame the weed, although it is dangerous for a fragile mind. It’s also highly addictive to those who have a fragile mind, it is a catch 22, the self medicating habit becomes addiction.
Science needs to find out which part of weed is helpful to an anxiety sufferers and turn into a regulated medication.
I don’t have practical advice. I hope he comes through this. He needs intensive counselling too.
Try not scream or shout, just tell him that you love him so much and you need him to fight for his life.

I'm so very sorry to hear your situation. It is unbelievably stressful, all consuming, terrifying and heartbreaking. We are currently in a similar position, though fortunately have not had the suicide attempt yet only suicidal ideation. You feel as though a noose is constantly around your neck getting tighter
We managed to get an urgent referral into CAHMs and diagnosed as a tier 3 (one below admission). Even when recognised as a high risk, complex case the waiting lists are at least 3 months. It's an added stress and nightmare.
They have recommended a number of options to reach out to in the meantime as they acknowledge he needs someone to talk to. Young minds, Signpost, Relate. Some of these will also do talking services and planned structured therapy sessions. They might be useful.
I'm lucky to have private medical insurance from work to have been able to access therapy a little faster, but even that was not a quick route in. I must have called 20-30 psychologists before I finally found one who would take him. It goes to show the weight on the system.
But talking to a complete stranger seems to be having an effect, they are building a slow rapport. It's a super long road.

That is risky behaviour. It's not actually a mental health condition.

For example people who drink far too much alcohol may be unhappy with life and engaging in risky alcohol use, but again it's not a mental health condition.

Being unhappy which OPs son obviously is, needs changes to his life to make him happier. The challenge is the OP has no idea why he is so unhappy. And even her son may not fully know. Teenagers often find it hard to understand their unhappiness. That's why these situations are often so hard.

OP are there any other trusted adults in his life he might talk to?

Absolutely all of this

In addition to correct another post above, its also important to unpick what the self harm is about. Its not always a release. For some it is a sensory need, which is why its so important to explore with him the feelings and thoughts.

Yes this needs to be seriously considered as well.

Op i don't know why some people seems to be saying its not a camhs matter. Regardless weather its due ti things going on in his life or mental heath. Without anythjng paticularly going on. The things he's struggling with around him can lead to mental health issues. You hane already mentioned several things he used to do and now doesn't. That in its self can be a sign of depression .

My ds didn't have any diagnosis. He was selfharming suicide attempt he was seen by camhs for over a year.

My ds also could not explain why. Sometimes they don't know how. They can't find the words. Its not makeing sense to themselves either so how can he explain to other's
.

My greatest frustration is that after many years working in the NHS, it is still those who shout the loudest who manage to get the most support. I know it is exhausting- but keep shouting.
Call CAMHS every day until they see your son. Is there a CAMHS crisis line? You should have been given the number for that.
If he’s not attending school, could there be any funding for some mentoring or alternative provision?

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Does he has a diagnosis or autism or adhd. That will be a large step in him understanding himself. His attraction to risky dopamine substances point that way

has there been any trauma your aware of.

he needs a lot of rest and no pressure. I’d remove him from school for now if that’s a trigger.
look for a private psychiatrist who will prescribe or try the GP but you may have to try a few as some won’t do it for a young adult

Suicidal idealisation and self harm are two of the biggest indicators of mental health crisis.

I know it’s much easier to say than do, but try to get him away from weed. It can have a really bad effect on the brains of young people and on their mental health. My brother became paranoid after doing it as a teenager, had a couple of psychotic episodes, and attempted suicide. This was a long time ago and my parents didn’t know what they were dealing with. He ended up moving onto other drugs and it ruined his life. IMO weed is evil and should never be legalised.

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP.

It’s nearly impossible to get MH inpatient beds in this country both CAMHS and adult. It’s an underfunded Cinderella service and no one cares enough to do anything

You are showing a lack of understanding of mental health.
The mental health awareness campaigns have imo done more harm than good by raising awareness often if sadness at life events and living conditions. CAHMS is about actual mental illness.

It's like you can feel physically tired and achy because you eat badly, sleep badly and take no exercise. The symptoms are real, but it's not a physical illness, it's a lifestyle issue.

And inpatient wards are no place for a very sad neuro diverse teenager. Almost guaranteed to make their mental health worse.

I can assure you I understand MH very well. How dare you dismiss mental health difficulties to the extent a teen self harms and tries to take a life as sadness of life events. All my children are managing severe mental health difficulties with 2 under tier 3 and 1 who had many a hospitalisation during the teen years. They transferred from an inadequate CAMHs system to an inadequate adult system and I have had many a professional tell me that they are seeing far too many end up in inpatient because MH difficulties aren’t being treated properly by CAMHS and adult services when they start.

Totally agree. I think some of the advice is dangerous. Imagine saying no help was seeked because we thought they were sad about life. My ds is in a much better place now but its something I will never forget. I'm sorry your children are still having a difficult time