To be furious hospital have allowed DS to come home after overdose

Can you afford a private counsellor? He needs someone he can talk to. ETA not saying you aren’t there for him, just that in these scenarios parents are often the last ones a DC will talk to.

It’s really really shit there isn’t better support for young people struggling with mental health. I cannot say what the solution is but it seems abject that this is all the NHS can offer.
I am sending OP and the others on the thread who have had such a tough time support and courage.

Oh OP, I’m so sorry. Being a teen with ADHD is gruelling at the best of times, let alone with family trauma, drugs, etc thrown into the mix. I really sympathise. Have you looked into alternative provision for your DS? Section 19 of the Education Act requires local authorities to provide a suitable education for any child who can’t attend school for reasons like mental health (see link below). My ADHD child was out of school for a year and our alternative provision (which the school put in place after some pressure from us) did wonders - it was things like interest-led learning, equine therapy, mentoring, forest school etc. You don’t need an EHCP to access it so don’t be fobbed off if school say no as it’s his legal right. Feel free to PM me if helpful. www.ipsea.org.uk/faqs/what-support-should-the-la-give-me-if-my-child-is-out-of-school-for-any-other-reason

I’m so sorry to read this. I have a 14 year old who has done a “lighter” version of these things so I empathise with your feeling of helplessness.
With our darling girl, the root of it was being lonely at school and wanting acceptance in the group, plus suspected autism spectrum/ADD which we’re trying (too late) to get diagnosed.
Do you know what is making your boy behave this way? Is he looking for attention, feeling lonely, not feeling part of the family? Have you tried regular 1:1 time with him?
If school is a problem, is there potentially a different school he could change to?
Does he understand that the phone being removed is not a punishment but for his own safety? (is DP his dad? If not perhaps you should be taking the lead on these types of issues as he may resent it less).
What we have tried to emphasise with our daughter is that everything is about her safety. We talked through how to approach drinking vodka (small sips, if you feel funny wait 20 mins because that feeling intensifies) etc etc.
It must be so frustrating, but my guess is that Camhs is under-resourced and believes that most children are best off within the family environment, with parents that love them, they wouldn’t be able to give the extensive 1:1 attention and care that’s necessary, make him feel special with favourite foods, movies and trips out etc like parents do.
Wishing you the best and that he comes through this…

Well I think conversely CAMHS are very very reluctant to diagnose depression, I cannot think of a young person in over 20 years where there has been a really clear MH diagnosis for and you can forget getting your hands on a full assessment report, I never see one

However, that is what they mean by its behavioural for children on the spectrum, its not a MH disorder. To be generous to them, they're a MH service, there isnt a 'autism' service as such, its not a treatable condition and isnt a MH condition. If anything I find they're far too willing to brush off comorbid MH conditions that occur with ND due to simply seeing everything through an ND lens.

Its victim blaming. The day after a suicide attempt the child finally meets a stranger from CAMHS with their tick box lists and fails to "open up" in the brief time available. Obviously an uncooperative patient who doesn't deserve their important time 🙄

OP every thread on this subject throws up the same issues with first getting access to CAMHS and then getting any quality of care from CAMHS, especially if your child doesn't fit into a handy box.

Do you or your family have any financial resources you can call on to find help outside the system? If you can find a recommendation for a good adolescent psychiatrist privately that may be the only help realistically available. Its not right but its likely to be best opportunity.

The same thing happened with my daughter when she was that age. Seems to be the standard response. The crisis team (well someone from the crisis team) came to see her in hospital, wrote some stuff down, told me to bring her back to a&e if she did it again and sent her/us on our way. I was very much at a loss as what to do and I can’t say I handled it well. I ransacked her room looking for things she could hurt herself with: pencil sharpener blades and paracetamol were her “weapon” of choice. I took away her razor. She was absolutely fucking furious. I understand why, but I don’t regret that given how many things were in her room that she has clearly used to cut with of course, that didn’t stop the cutting she always found a way. I slept on her bedroom floor night after night.

I’m truly sorry your family are going through this right now. It’s terrifying. Each time I came home from hospital with my newborns after giving birth I was scared I’d fuck it up and something terrible would happen to my precious baby. Bringing my child home from hospital after she overdosed was so much worse. I didn’t have the money to but if you do, would you consider paying privately for counselling/therapy?

The LA wont get anywhere with fines for this OP, he is clearly too unsettled or emotionally dysregulated to attend.

None of this is your fault as I said, and no, no one except one weird poster thinks you can stop kids smoking weed, you cannot lock him up

Would he think about a change of meds for the ADHD, there are lots of different ones, ones that dont have the associated nausea and appetite reducation? Does he know about this?

What was the type of self harm?

This was me sadly, I did the exact same thing at age 16. It wasnt anything to do with drugs, I didnt hang around with the wrong crowd, I was just an incredibly sad kid living with an abusive mother.

This was such a long time ago, so im sure things have changed, but I remember being released within hours even when I was just under critical and you could just see the sadness...
My mother didnt come, and I was there with her BF at the time.

I do remember the crisis team coming out and speaking to me at home but case closed and nothing was done.

Youre doing what you should be doing.. he has love and support and even if it feels like nothing, I can assure you to a kid in distress that safety means the world.

I think so called professionals lecturing to struggling parents how to mange hugely difficult young people with zero support is a bit rich.

No advice. Just wanted to say I’m thinking of you all in what must be very difficult circumstances. Xx

It’s a completely reactionary service which lets kids have multiple suicide attempts, building trauma on trauma until they then need to be treated by specialist care which isn’t there so eventually they end up in inpatient. It’s a national disgrace.

Ps also my DS is ASD. There's a link with neuro diversity and suicide. It's not necessarily depression which CAHMS couldn't get their head around.

Changed name for this.

My 16 year old DS did the same thing two days ago. We saw crisis team and were sent on our merry way despite me saying I cannot keep him safe and DS admitting he may try again.

DS is also autistic. Very socially isolated. We too have tried everything. Been back and forth over the years to CAMHs etc now been rereferred.

Ultimately though I'm not expecting much support because realistically what can they do? I have accepted the fact I cannot provide 24/7 surveillance and have informed them of such - nor do I expect them to be able to provide such a service without sectioning. DS is always reluctant to engage with services because "what is the point? I just want to die."

I don't have the answers, I don't know anyone who does. I just wanted you to know you're not alone and that someone else out there is also going through and feeling as fucking helpless and exhausted with it all too. It fucking sucks.💐

Well it isnt impossible, its that people give the wrong advice which is 'dont ask about it, dont talk about it'. Thats the wrong approach, suicide prevention or self harm management is about finding out as much as you can about it. Helping professionals and carers manage safe self harm rather than prevent it completely is also helpful.

I have no advice but we are going through this with our DS so I totally get where you're coming from. It's shocking the lack of support for the kids but equally shocking is not once did anyone offer us any support. As if we should just figure it out as parents.
We've ended up going private for support as CAHMS were useless.

EUPD is a lazy and damaging diagnosis for what is often trauma and ND. So many mis diagnosed young people .

Sorry you have been through this but my DD did this 5 or 6 times with similar results. No follow up from CAMHS and discharges within 24-36hours. It doesn’t get any better, I’m afraid.

Sometimes EUPD is what's wrong & that can open up opportunities for the right support. It's every bit as 'real' as other mental illness. It also has one of the highest suicide rates of any mental illness.

Therapies like DBT have shown to work well & the earlier the better.

You can't actually diagnose a 14 year old with EUPD but the symptoms & behaviours can be helped & supported. You don't need to keep looking for 'properly what's wrong' - unstable & intense emotions & impulses, suicidal feelings & trauma all need support in their own right.

I’d email PALS ccing CAMHs and your MP
listing his risks( self harm, impulsivity from ADHD, recent suicide in the family, drugs and a recent overdose). Ask who will be taking responsibility for giving him zero MH support or treatment .

I'm so sorry. My ds2 took an overdose when he was 12. He was treated for his physical symptoms, then had an assessment similar to your son's and then sent home.

I think your posts are unnecessarily aggressive on a thread of such sensitivity. They are also a bit cryptic.

Perhaps try explaining calmly and clearly, maybe with some resources, to help rather than confuse.

Please do everything you can to keep him out of hospital. They are not safe places for young people & do not help with recovery. They just secure holding spaces that break young people further.

Push & push for CAMHS support, call 999 as often as needed, remortgage to fund private support but do everything you can to avoid admission.