To be furious hospital have allowed DS to come home after overdose

Could you try childline or the crisis team? Crisis will only help if DS acknowledges it was an attempt at suicide

This isnt any different to what happens every time. The worker he will have seen would have been the crisis CAHMS worker (or the equivalent in your area), a referral then should be made for the locality team to follow up

In our area we have a Home Treatment team, who will visit every few days in the next few days but thats rare, you have to push for that

There should be a safety plan and management plan so they can advise you, then plans for when he might be seen but half the time you dont get that.

I think its important to work on safe self harm for him.

Has he ever had any work around the intensity of feelings that ADHD can create and that sometimes people feel the only way to get away from those feelings is to not want to be here, but thats not really wanting to end 'life' as it were?
Additionally, the intensity of feelings/emotions/thoughts etc, sometimes are just expressed physically, behaviourally, this is what CAMHS mean by behavioural rather than a MH issue per se.
It could be a sensory need to cut

Dont be frightened of asking questions and let him know its ok to not know the answers because even adults struggle to recognise what we're thinking sometimes.

Mine did this too tbf I could only control what I could but if they are determined, they find a way to self harm.

Our GP gave my DS an elastic band, he was told to snap it gently against his wrist should he feel the urge to self harm. He promptly learned to use the band to hurt himself by snapping it so often it left bruising, pulling so tight it left marks on his skin. I had to get rid of it.

I know you cant force the ADHD meds into him but dangerous behaviour is a sign of adhd its a form of searching for dopamine. Is there an alternative to what he was taking?

You poor poor things. We’ve been through some very hard times too and I can’t think of much worse.it sounds like you are trying so hard to be a good parent but that you’re hitting your head against a brick wall. We paid for private counselling as CAMHS was and is totally overwhelmed. I really don’t know what their criteria for helping out is if it’s not a wonderful child attempting suicide. That’s not to criticise the people working there. Any help you can get from school or social services is worth it. Your child might get on better with some counsellors than others. Don’t be embarrassed, Do be honest with your child. Hide the knives and paracetamol and tell them you have to take steps to protect them. In their more communicative times ask can they think of any steps that might help you protect them? Spend time with them as others have said. Maybe a nice hot chocolate somewhere or out to the Nike store or whatever floats their boat. If your son is reacting badly to the lack of phone, just keep repeating that you are trying your hardest to keep them safe. And believe in yourself. He will push back but you are parenting at a very difficult time. Lots of love for him and you and your husband. Sadly so many people have been through this. But even though I feel I can never really relax, the worst time was only 18 months of so. And that was about 4/5 years ago. You can do this. I’m sending you my very best

Is therapy any good for a weed user?

I think you were right to give DS exactly the support he asked for OP.

This is a time that is about building trust and bridges.

He will be saying he doesn't know what's wrong, because he probably doesn't.
Would he draw? It can be helpful for people struggling

What astounds me is that every time we have young people take overdoses, they're discharged obviously quite quickly once their bloods are fine because there's no physical reason to remain, however theres no follow up or liver function testing or anything like this months down the line.

Recently I asked again about this for another child and was quite sternly shut down in the meeting as if I'd said something stupid!!

CAMHS worker here.
The appt at the hospital with the CAMHS worker should have been a risk and mental health assessment, plus risk management advice given to your son and your DP. Are you sure that didn't happen? If so that's poor.
Also at that app the worker should have given an indication of what will happen in terms of follow up.
If you are unclear about any of the above, call your local CAMHS, they should have a duty worker you can speak to.
If you are still concerned about your DS mental state or continued risk then do call and tell them and ask for further rapid support. They may have a CAMHS crisis team they can refer to.

I don't have a clue how you should deal with this op so I'm not going to try to give an opinion other than to say I'm so sorry you are going through this: it must be so very hard, and I wish you strength.

The only other thing I would note is the irony that on MN people spend so much time warning each other how SS will get involved if they don't change the bedding weekly or have dog pee stains on the hallway carpet, yet here is the reality...

He needs to stop the weed, that will just make his MH worse.

Someone needs to have a conversation with him about paracetamol. People see it as benign because you can buy it over the counter. It is not benign - he needs to know that a quite small overdose can lead to a horrible slow death from liver failure. People initially recover then start to go downhill. I watched this happen to a young patient when I was working in hospitals - it is engraved on my mind.

Sorry to be the voice of doom, but he needs to know what could happen to him with this drug. It is not a short term cry for help as they might believe.

Your problem is that he is locked in with the wrong crowd and, unless he is rolling in money, he will finish up having to sell weed to buy weed.

I have a close relative in this situation and truly the only way is to get him away from this for a period of weeks.

Does he have an activity that interests him? - sport or something else. Could you find a break centred on this activity that you can take him away to?

The services for young people in this situation are pitiful - truly pitiful - and parents have all the worry of the problem itself with the utter soul-destroying exhaustion of banging their head against a brick wall trying to get some professional help on top.

I think you need to keep talking to him. He will grunt and shrug his shoulders for sure but don't give up. Just ignore all that and keep talking. And above all else telling him you love him and that you have faith in him. That you know he can make a success of his life and be happy.

Yes your first bit of your post says exactly what Ive been saying, its important that OP and her partner find out whether the intent was suicide or self harm, there is a big difference in treatment pathways.

No, op says her son suddenly decided he didn't want to see his own father a year ago.

Also:

he used to go to football matches with my partner and sometimes BIL (I'm assuming BIL means op's boyfriends brother) but he hasn’t wanted to go for a few months

I used to regularly overdose on paracetamol and sleeping tablets as a teenager as a way to self harm rather than attempt to kill myself. I also did a lot of very risky behaviour things and took illegal drugs. I have never told anyone else in my life about any of this, I’m very glad no one ever found out, I don’t think any sort of therapy, medication or talking it out would have helped. The only thing that did help was leaving home. I realised I just felt suffocated. My parents were fine but they never really understood me or noticed when I was going through things. I’m sorry for what you’re going through at the moment, I hope he will come through the other side of it. I’m perfectly normal now, I promise, sometimes I think puberty can be very overwhelming

Is your DP his father?

Also ask your GP to refer him for a full assessment ASAP.

How long have you been with DP.

And if he is not ds's father, why was he the one taking him go hospital after a suicide attempt, and not one of his parents?

I’m so so sorry to hear this . My number one advice is don’t wait for NHS services and try and find some private therapeutic support…we had far lesser problems with our teen but CAMHS were as useful as a chocolate teapot, thank god we had the funds to pay for support which turned things around. My number two advice is to see if there’s any option at some point to go back on ADHD meds ( and to try a different type if previous one having too many side effects) …you’d be shocked at how many young men in prison have undiagnosed, unmedicated ADHD. Weed and harder drug use are common in young people who are self medicating to cope with life….with ADHD meds you have a chance to keep things on a more even keel until their brain has at least some chance to mature and develop some coping skills.

Mental health services are on their knees. I took an overdose a few months ago. I had two days of treatment and then the hospital staff sectioned me as I wanted to go home. I had a MHAA and was then sent home with no further support. I’ve had to go private.
Im so sorry about your son. My son did the same thing about 10 years ago. He had three suicide attempts. One was over 100 tablets. The support was absolutely woeful and I think it has got worse now. You have to make a nuisance of yourself. Bang on every door so to speak. Take care x

And do you have a DSR service in your area, he might not meet the criteria without ASD.

Has anyone gone through safe self harm with you? Is he still cutting?

This sounds really tough for all of you. Did Camhs worker give any info on local voluntary youth services? It may be worth (hopefully) doing a search for self referral organisations?