To be furious hospital have allowed DS to come home after overdose

Honestly I’d put him in private therapy. I’d take out a loan if I had to. Never rely on the health service. It’s broken and has let the people I love rot and die (due to lack of funding and structure not individual workers).

to other parents on the thread

If your child is 16 and above, check you local talking therapies service - it’s not for urgent crisis support but you should be seen for therapy within months - but they don’t cover everything it’s classes as primary care so please manage your expectations if you follow up the above

The CAHMS. Service in my area has a drop in Where there are support workers/CPNs - get him in front of someone find the equivalent for your area

many have said about removing the means

go back to basics:-
regulate sleep routines and food intake, walks any exercise

was there a trigger event prior to all the drink n drugs - could this be a trauma response? Kids act out - when did behavioural changes start? Gently ask if some thing happened or if someone hurt them? You just need a nod not details and go at there pace
see what you can find out

make sure you all have urgent care information in phones and written down, encourage engagement with Samaritans this can be via email to help talk about big emotions and head off self harm

sorry I’ve not read all of thread I wish you well

Investing in prevention might be a good idea.
For too long, too little has been done.

@Mischance I agree with this nugget:

And above all else telling him you love him and that you have faith in him. That you know he can make a success of his life and be happy.
This 1000x!

In the UK between 15 and 25% of young people have some suicide ideation at some point. And approximately 20% of young people in the UK self harm at some point. By young people I mean under 18s. This is why CAHMS can't do an early intervention service for everyone, there are too many young people.

One in thirteen adults have made a suicide attempt at some point in the UK. 20% of adults experience suicide ideation.

I went through this with my DS; sending solidarity. Important things are to hide or lock away anything sharp or dangerous and any medication. Try to get him some therapy. Although if he’s made an attempt at his life hopefully cahms will contact you again and see him. They were actually quite good with my ds in the end and he saw a psychiatrist and an amazing mental health nurse who helped him understand himself. I have got closer to my DS through this and it’s been awful but he’s on the right track now fingers crossed 🤞🏼. Make sure you keep trying to talk to him, even though he might not seem to want to, it’s important he knows you’re trying.

God, I get it, I so do.
I remember calling the direct Crisis Team number that we’d been given one Sunday night. No answer. For thirty minutes. Adult child curled up in a ball, saying they were going to make it stop. Friend came round, both of us calling Crisis team. No reply, another thirty minutes. Then friend driving us to local A&E, twenty minutes away. triaged at 10 p.m. Saw two MH nurses at 2 a.m. Sent home, told they couldn’t admit, “until DC had done something.” Culminated in me, alone, on suicide watch. Thank god DC got through it, Awful, I wouldn’t wish that night on my worst enemy. Bless you. Only parents who have been through it truly get it. But we shouldn’t go through it, our kids deserve better 💐

Exactly this- with bells on!!!!

My child has been battling for 10 years. Fobbed off from CAMHS until the year before he transferred appallingly (as is common)to adult services by which time he was escalated to a high risk transfer. Now finally getting tier 3 treatment that is still a step away from the treatment he actually needs because he has had multiple suicide attempts, is continuously in crisis and the attempts are getting more and more dangerous, ditto his behaviours.10 years of zilch when trust me the signs of his mental illness were loud and clear. I had to make a massive complaint involving our MP after the last attempt involved him being assessed for sectioning. Finally he is getting the pre treatment service he should have had a decade ago. A life ruined at huge expense to the taxpayer because of our not fit for service mental health system that leaves children high and dry whilst fobbing parents off with crappy numbers,links to websites and ridiculous suggestions that do nothing when your child is seriously ill.

Fun Fact even Papyrus doesn’t answer!

CAMHS is overwhelmed. MIND is overwhelmed.
I speak as an ex safeguarding lead at a huge high school, and as a parent of a teenager who desperately needed support over a decade ago.
”There’s lots of support available, we’ll give you the numbers to call”, said on repeat. So I called the numbers, they referred elsewhere. Then given more numbers. The support doesn’t exist. A decade of going round and round in circles, my child spiralling. Eventually hit crisis point, admitted to a secure unit. Meds given, psychiatrist appointed, discharged to Early Intervention Team for three years, who have been amazing, truly amazing.

But, if my now adult child had been seen, assessed, treated and supported when we reached out, in desperation over a decade ago, the past year of worry, suicidal tendencies and uncertainty could have been avoided.

Telling parents in my job, that we’d done referrals, that they should hear soon from the agencies was soul destroying. Because I knew from bitter experience, that the help just isn’t there. It’s not the agencies fault. Underfunding for MH is the issue. We have an endemic of MH issues in the UK. And my adult child, is still on MINDs waiting list, Been there since 2021.

Yes, they are older now - we never struggled to be seen by Camhs back then. It was a different time- nowhere near as many children needing the service of course.

If a child has attempted suicide, families should not be left trying to work out why on their own. CAMHS is not working - it doesn't help enough young people, it doesn't help them quickly enough.

Your children were lucky to have interaction with CAMHS when they needed it, most who are very mentally unwell and whose self harm/ conditions are not harmless are just left to get worse.

It’s a reactionary service which is massively letting young people down.

It was transformative for one of my daughters - didn't remotely touch my other daughter, but then again nothing has ever touched her (she had 2 years of art therapy at CAMHS, attachment therapy at the Post Adoption Centre, filial therapy when she was very little and family therap via adult services)

It was because these therapies didn't have any impact that CAMHS diagnosed autism rather than attachment/adoption/ trauma diagnoses. She was 15 when diagnosed with autism.

Once we started treating her as someone with autism rather than as someone with a mental health problem, everything got so much easier.

Her "self harming" was very basic and not really dangerous but it came from her sensory seeking and need for control rather than as wanting to harm herself as in not feeling good enough etc.

She doesn't take any drugs and is doing fine.

For many it is impossible particularly for those with children who can’t identify or verbalise emotions
and are too overcome by their mental illness. The idea that untrained parents can just chat about suicidal idealisation with children who are ashamed, concealing plans and deeply unwell is trite and laughable. It also indicates how clueless mental health professionals really are.

I am simply pushing back on the continuous fobbing off and pushing parents away from services their kids need and should be having. Services that aren’t fit for purpose and as funded by tax payers should be made to be fit for purpose. It simply isn’t good enough and the op should be complaining hard. Some of the comments minimising a suicidal child who self harms and has overdosed are frankly appalling and dangerous .

It was completely useless for my mentally ill ND child. Not surprising as it does not unpick serious mental health conditions such as trauma, EDs, OCD, chronic depression, suicidal idealisation, self harm etc with trained mental health professionals.Parents of mentally unwell children are trying to hold jobs down, cope with loss of wages, support siblings- where is the money from equine therapy coming from?

I missed this post. Equine therapy has a good success rate, particularly for kids with ND, its hugely effective.

This thread isnt about your child, its to answer OP's specific query

You have been incredibly hostile on this thread to those of us who have offered specific advice to take OP slightly further along the line to try to support and find out whats going on.

Ive long advocated for autism support for children, no MH service is set up to manage ND needs per se, they are set up to manage MH conditions and not all presenting behaviours from someone with ND is a MH condition, OP does not know in terms of her son, and this is about her son, which that is at the moment. There is some space to explore that.

Many children/people with ND find SSRIs unhelpful for example if medication is looked at, they find standard therapies and group work ineffective or unhelpful. Not all, but many.

There should be specific ND services which support those with their ND presentaiton and comorbid MH conditions that they may have from their ND. But there arent.

Yep we were told not to lock things away particularly if it’s a coping strategy, you’re just supposed to provide materials that can keep wounds clean.Great!

Hmmm no thanks that smacks of fobbing off, autistic children like mine need autism aware treatment for their serious mental health conditions when they need it.

I am not disagreeing - but my DS used anything he could to self harm - the little blades from a pencil sharpener for example.

We were told not to lock stuff away because then they will find something else, and cutting with not very sharp, possibly dirty items unearthed from god knows where could cause more problems.

OP, my sympathies are with you. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

CAMHS were useless.

I felt that DS and us were totally unsupported. DS is adopted and many of the issues were around identity and self esteem, but the adoption support team basically implied it was my fault.

I can't really say how we got through it, we had self harm and drug and alcohol misuse and self medication with anything he could lay his hands on.

Sertraline helped enormously, I think he was put on that around 16 or 17? But it's all such a blur now I can't really remember.

He has also subsequently been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD which was probably all part of it, but everyone put his behavioural issues down to adoption/attachment for years and it got overlooked.

No one has suggested SFA, some of us have given specific advice around services, strategies, exploration, pathways, safety planning.

Okaaay but leaving them to just get worse with sfa is just as damaging.