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AIBU?

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To have left this role

4 replies

ourB · 21/09/2026 16:59

I am a private carer. I have several long term clients but one has been full on for some time.
I don’t want to give to much identifying information but will try to give the basics.
Brian is 93 and has dementia, he has been getting worse and I’ve informed family about my concerns. Family live away and don’t visit often. Due to circumstances beyond their control one son couldn’t visit for 6 months which actually turned into 10 months. We still had phone contact. I ended up being the only person seeing Brian for all that time and took on a lot of the responsibilities there. Some beyond what a carer should be expected to do, but he had nobody else. Now it has become dangerous for Brian to live alone. Family have started visiting again. They have promised to find a care home for Brian but time has gone on and nothing is happening. I believe this is finance related. They keep telling me they are doing things but I no longer believe them. I contacted social services who couldn’t see a problem as Brian has his family and myself caring for him. So I decided to stop enabling this situation and left my role. It’s broken my heart to leave Brian because I’ve been caring for him every day for almost a year. His family are visiting him and now cannot leave. I really hope I’ve done the right thing by Brian. I feel if I hadn’t have left the situation would’ve continued with me caring for Brian and with no other help, Brian would have been in danger.
Was I unreasonable to have left this role?

OP posts:
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ourB · 21/09/2026 20:31

Social services and the Gp couldn’t be any less interested. I’ve asked them to formally document my concerns though.

OP posts:
Cardhey · 21/09/2026 17:35

Not at all but I would let social services know your concerns again and say you’ve left.

CleanSkin · 21/09/2026 17:05

Sometimes we have to make painful decisions for the greater good: this is one of those times.

JustGoogleIt15 · 21/09/2026 17:02

No. You were not unreasonable

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