Am I unreasonable to resent my husband's work from home desk taking space?

Many one year olds don’t sleep right through 😂😂

Can you get a larder style cupboard to have his computer stuff in that can be hidden away at night?

I suppose it depends on the children. Neither of my dc (now aged 23 and 14) were good sleepers. If they’d shared a room they would have been constantly waking each other up.

How big are the other bedrooms? Could you put the girls in the big one so it could be a bedroom/play room, then you have another one as your bedroom and the other one as an office? I really wouldn't want to work in my bedroom and would prefer a seperate office so I could clock off, shut the door and not have to think about work until the next day. If my office was in my room I;d be constantly thinking ooooh I forgot to do that.

Why would a baby/toddler be waking them up? At that age, babies sleep right through. My DC shared when one was a baby and the other a young child with no problems. We had room for them to have a room each but we thought it important and nice for them to share. They got their own rooms when the older one was about nine, but many of their friends continued to share rooms until they left home.

I think YAB a bit U to be annoyed as you say the WFH will enable him to do school pickups which is surely really useful.

I would give him the smallest bedroom as a home office and not bother with a playroom. At that age our DC wanted to be wherever we were, and that was the lounge, so a playroom wasn't a good use of space.

I’d want the kids to have their own bedroom over everything else - a 5 year old does not need to be woken up by a baby / toddler. I’d then plan it all round that.

Do you have the space for a room in the garden ,one of those home office rooms?

Seems obvious to me; the DC share, your DH has the other room as his office. It’s completely normal for kids that age to share. Where I live, it’s also normal for DC to share until they go to university. You don’t need a playroom. The DC play in the living room. You’ve got years before you might want to think of the DC having separate rooms.

I have two monitors and a laptop on a 120x60 cm desk. Monitors are wall mounted and the desk is an antique, leather topped table. Some decent cable management (a tray clipped under the table) and it doesn’t need to be an eyesore.

Ive seen an even better set up where the docking station is in a desk drawer and the laptop just slides in and connects in the drawer. The other drawer stores the keyboard and headphones etc when not in use. I haven’t been able to make that work but it’s a great idea.

Do NOT let him use the playroom/3rd bedroom as you will never get it back and your kids will end up sharing a room for their entire childhood (unless you move somewhere bigger). It’s not ideal but I’d put his desk in your bedroom. Ultimately (not in his first few weeks) if there’s not enough space at the office I’d ask his work to fund a coworking space elsewhere. An adult working from home with small children around is a nightmare for all and he can use the argument that he’ll be more productive.

Having a desk in a shared living space doesn’t work. You can’t keep small children hidden away.

Would a garden office pod be feasible?

Otherwise your options look like:

1 desk in your bedroom and children have their own bedrooms

2 both children share biggest bedroom, you use one of the smaller bedrooms as a bedroom, and 3rd bedroom becomes an office with clothes storage (ideally your husband’s) in there.

Can you take the middle bedroom for you and DH, and use a partition wall to carve out an office space from the biggest bedroom, and give that bedroom to one of the DC? You could always remove it to sell.

Failing that, anywhere but your bedroom. I wouldn't want to spend most of my life in one room, that's notoriously used as a punishment and not great for mental health.

Mine has his desk in our bedroom - it annoys me sometimes ! But we’ve made it work as our room is massive - we got a smallish desk and a chair that can be pushed in tight under the desk so less space taken up

we remove the second monitor at end it day and put it under the desk so it’s less cluttered on the top

laptops packed away etc

ive put nice light strips around it and a plant and I’ve started to use the monitor left to watch my own tv shows when I get into bed - which is actually quite nice if both me and husband wanted to watch different things I have another space to do that now 🤷‍♀️

my kids also share a bedroom but we only have 2 bedrooms so our room was the only option really

A friend of mine’s DH rents an office space near them instead of wfh. He just rents a desk so not too expensive.

I actually like the idea of putting the kids and their toys into the largest room and then having a small bedroom
for you and the smallest for an office. But now you say the smallest is right in the middle of the kitchen and the living room maybe that’s not sensible. Do you have a floor plan?

My husband and I both hybrid work so one of us is home every day. It’s so much easier than when we were in the office. The school runs alone will be great.

We have 4 bedrooms thankfully so one is an office for him (I wfh less and am fine on a laptop but he’s in IT so has loads of stuff) I did have a desk in our bedroom but got rid of it as found it really intrusive. I think though one that you can close at the end of the day would be much better so it’s clear that work time is finished.

I always used 2 monitors, but my new job gave me a fold out double monitor set up, that the laptop sits in the middle. It folds up, and its fab 👌

this type of thing amzn.eu/d/05UBrViz

Congratulations on the job!

Ask his employers if they will help with the costs of a workstation. DSs provided a desk and expensive bespoke chair.

Is there anywhere "out of the box" that you haven't thought of? Eg hallway, utility room or if you have a garden flat, could you get a garden cabin?

Otherwise I'd go with him working in the smallest bedroom. A "playroom" is a bit of a luxury, a workstation is essential.

I need a set up like this, its a horrible looking thing, I hate office type equipment, wires, black items, keyboards the whole shebang in my house. But we will be setting it up like this for me soon, I need two monitors and a laptop plus keyboard and mouse etc

There is absolutely no way this would be in a bedroom, it turns your gentle calm sleeping area into an office, horrible, very intrusive.

I would have the children share and then the spare bedroom is an office, with a day bed for play dates/sleep overs etc

Most offices wont allow you in more than a few days a week or even a few days a month sometimes, its dreadful.

Not sure why posters are implying the husband has a choice, you work how your employer tells you to work.

If your bedroom is big enough, reorganise so you can fit a workstation in there - it’s a room you only use when work hours are over so it makes perfect sense? The other 2 bedrooms are then free for your kids to have 1 each - a 4 yr age gap will be an issue re. sharing at some point.

I had desk in bedroom temporarily (during a renovation) and I found sleeping and working in the same room gave me massive cabin fever. I felt like I was in the same room all day everyday and could never shut the door on work. I wouldn’t recommend it unless you could somehow screen it off as it’s not conducive to sleep or relaxation.

Whilst I would not like the desk in front of me, the benefits re school pick ups etc, should outweigh this. Get a screen to put around it. It will need to.be inaccessible to children too i would imagine

I work from home 85% of the time and I’d be a bit upset if my partner was annoyed about me having a desk set up somewhere other than our bedroom. Mine was previously in my daughters room in a corner, she was at the childminders whilst I was working so never saw the issue. I now have mine downstairs in our living/dining area, but I have zero issues switching off in the evening and couldn’t care less if people are using the tv etc whilst I’m working

We had this. He alternated between the desk in our room and the table in the kitchen. None of it was ideal and I found it really difficult. We are now in a 4 bed where he has a dedicated office space and everyone is happier.

In case it hasn’t already been said 2 monitors of a monitor and laptop don’t need to be standing on the desk. You can get a dual monitor arm that screws onto the desk edge. Saves lots f space