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AIBU?

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Original poster

To struggle to believe this person is being left routinely passing out and unconscious for hours?

161 replies

frequentlybaffuckled · 21/09/2026 16:29

Put it all in to not drip feed.

They do apparently often have Bradycardia. They also clearly are disabled. They have been around medical care and hospitals a lot, and clearly have both health and general anxiety. They eat poorly and self care and MH are not good.
Visibly drained, pale, thin, unwell, low energy, unable to walk without aids.
I feel bad for questioning them at all.

Their life has fallen apart and it's clear general professionals around them aren't really doing a lot partly because the person makes it hard work.

I've been doing lots to get them out of the mess, into better situations and it's been working. Practicality wise we're almost over a huge life changing line.

I'm now hitting a wall both with my own pissed off suspicions that they may feel weak, wobbly and sleep a great deal but are capable of being woken by an alarm, rather than be, literally, as they claim, suddenly collapsing without warning, (always in a bed or chair, never in a public place or in front of friends) at any time, and being literally unconscious for hours.

And, with the fact that is now being used as a reason to not to turn up to important appointments or agreed times to do things for them that they have asked for, which messes up my life.

They are outraged at me proposing they still have to take responsibility and practical answers: IE Wont lend me a shed key so a delivery can happen regardless. But insistent they may be unconscious and expect the delivery driver to return as many times as it takes, and me to come to help, for them to get their goods. (made up example close to realities)
Or I arrive with someone and materials to do a hard five hour job (free) and they aren't there because 'They where unconscious' for the first three hours, so I'll 'have to do a little and come back another day.'
They are claiming this is their disability and I need to recognize I'm discriminating against them if I don't accept it and work around this not yet diagnosed awful condition. They rarely even say sorry. 'As it isn't their fault.'

They have said their conditions are complex and have mentioned neurological, complex, bradycardia, ELS, and it's been confirmed they have over 20 diagnoses. (I question how many might be non serious type)

Would Dr's really be leaving someone living alone, collapsing all over the place and literally unconscious for hours? (they are 'difficult' and the sort of person wards seem very keen not to keep)

Or am I being an ignorant rotten ablest bitch here and need to listen to them and believe and center them?

OP posts:
MagicUser1 · 21/09/2026 16:54

I don't think whether or not this person is being entirely honest is actually entirely relevant (although I do get it - it does seem to be a bit casual? what if they're cooking and they've collapsed? shouldn't they/health care professionals be worried about burning the house down? Or similar).

What's more important is that they're in a situation where whether o rnot they have legitimate health issues, they are not being appreciative or respectful of your time and efforts.

The shed key one is a good example. If someone is routinely unconscious (genuinely) or sleeping due to illness, either way, it's not a big ask to say that if you are routinely deliering things there needs to be a solution for delivering those things even if the person is unwell.

Octavia64 · 21/09/2026 16:52

I have epileptic type fits which aren’t epilepsy.

while they are lasting I’m unconscious (mostly although occasionally not). Afterwards I need to rest and sleep it off.

obviously I don’t know about this person but non epileptic seizures (the medics do love a snappy name) is one of the possibilities.

in my case they are believed to have been triggered by my accident.

Merryoldgoat · 21/09/2026 16:49

Why are you so involved? Why do you care?

I don’t mean it callously, but I don’t understand why you are so tied up with helping them and that might inform answers.

FWIW the person sounds manipulative.

BiteSizeByzantine · 21/09/2026 16:49

BluebellBeth · 21/09/2026 16:47

Sleep it off or you're unconscious? Op says this person says they're literally unconscious which is not the same as sleeping.

Show quote history

Let's all believe ops understanding of disability shall we? And her accurate reporting. And timely disability bashing post.

BluebellBeth · 21/09/2026 16:47

Octavia64 · 21/09/2026 16:35

I was in an accident and use a wheelchair as a result.

(to be very clear that I have obvious physical disabilities that are clear both to anyone looking and to scans)

yes, as a result I have nerve damage and neurological issues.

I do collapse (have done so in public relatively frequently) and then need to sleep it off.

I cannot comment on your friend but in my case this is a known issue from my neurological problems.

Sleep it off or you're unconscious? Op says this person says they're literally unconscious which is not the same as sleeping.

Justbrieme · 21/09/2026 16:46

What is your responsibility towards this person? I don’t really think you need to over analyse their condition, you need to be deciding on your own reasonable limits which has nothing to do with their condition and everything to do with your own physical, mental and emotional capacity.

Error404FucksNotFound · 21/09/2026 16:42

Who knows with the way health care is these days.

Maybe you need to be firm on what you will and won't do and not let them rule you.

TFImBackIn · 21/09/2026 16:39

Who is this, OP?

MyThreeWords · 21/09/2026 16:38

They are outraged at me proposing they still have to take responsibility and practical answers: IE Wont lend me a shed key so a delivery can happen regardless. But insistent they may be unconscious and expect the delivery driver to return as many times as it takes, and me to come to help,

This is the bit that makes the person you are dealing with seem clearly unreasonable. Everyone has to take some responsibility, even though the nature of their responsibilities varies according to their limitations. I get the impression that this person thrives on being validated, and that, for her, nothing will count as validation if it falls short of completely endorsing whatever practical support she is calling for.

And I share your suspicion that falling unconscious (rather than, say, being very tired and perhaps also struggling with a depressive inertia) isn't actually what is happening to her.

I think it would be very reasonable if you were to state some clear boundaries and say that your continuing help is dependent oh her respecting them.

Octavia64 · 21/09/2026 16:36

Sorry second post - I do work around it as much as possible. I have a box for parcels and the delivery people know it’s ok to put them in my back garden

I have a key safe for my cleaner

Octavia64 · 21/09/2026 16:35

I was in an accident and use a wheelchair as a result.

(to be very clear that I have obvious physical disabilities that are clear both to anyone looking and to scans)

yes, as a result I have nerve damage and neurological issues.

I do collapse (have done so in public relatively frequently) and then need to sleep it off.

I cannot comment on your friend but in my case this is a known issue from my neurological problems.