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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still not like shaking hands ever since the pandemic

62 replies

paddleboardingmum · 21/09/2026 16:24

Ever since the pandemic I really don't like shaking hands. Sometimes I feel like I must, in work meetings. Has it gone back to normal for most people now? AIBU?

OP posts:
Badbadbunny · 23/09/2026 10:36

AuntieBiotics · 23/09/2026 09:13

Confined space with often a very elderly demographic of passengers. We all know that for someone in their 30s or 40s a dose of Covid or norovirus is unpleasant and spoils your holiday. For a passenger in their 80s or 90s with underlying conditions it's a whole other ball game and on ship the last thing they want is to have the medical centre full and potentially having to airlift very sick people off the ship.

You don't have to be in the elderly demographic to be immuno compromised or to have serious underlying health conditions.

My DH has had cancer since his early 50s, so everyone in our family practices good hygiene to protect him, as if we catch something, we're highly likely to pass it to him simply by being in the same house. That means not shaking hands, washing hands constantly throughout the day, using hand sanitiser after touching door handles or handrails, or money, etc. No one comes into our home unless absolutely necessary, other than friends and family who know about his condition and respect good hygiene practices themselves.

He says the "only" place he's ever felt "safe" was on a cruise ship due to the precautions, facilities, etc - even there, we didn't let the stewards/cleaners into the cabin, didn't go to the busy restaurants at busy times, etc, but it was an absolute pleasure to see the hand gel stations everywhere, automatic doors, etc.

The place he feels least safe is the GP surgery and our local hospital where no one appears to practice good hygiene and where even the toilets often have empty soap dispensers, etc. We often say it's no surprise at all that viruses sweep through hospital wards in Winter, such as norovirus, c-diff etc as the staff basically ignore airborne viruses and anything they can't see i.e. clear fluids - they're obsessed with blood and will clean it immediately, but aren't remotely interested in touch points, airborne, etc. When we were last in the out patients waiting room, there was a cleaner going round wiping the door handles and light switches, but he was doing it with a dry duster - utterly useless and pointless as you need some kind of cleaning fluid or at least an Anti-Bac wet wipe - it was just to give the impression that things were being cleaned.

AuntieBiotics · 23/09/2026 10:40

You don't have to be in the elderly demographic to be immuno compromised or to have serious underlying health conditions.

Well obviously, but it's more likely.

LindorDoubleChoc · 23/09/2026 10:43

Yanbu. I have emetophobia and I hate hand shaking and always have done. But I suppose it's better than someone you've barely met going in to give you a kiss.

Badbadbunny · 23/09/2026 10:56

AuntieBiotics · 23/09/2026 10:40

You don't have to be in the elderly demographic to be immuno compromised or to have serious underlying health conditions.

Well obviously, but it's more likely.

Yes, but most people don't take it into account and get too close, too personal, etc, meaning you sometimes have to be quite abrupt to get them to back off and give you space. It's a shame more people don't respect personal space, whether for medical/health reasons or just because some people don't like the "touchy touchy" approach. Some people seem to actually take offence when you say you don't "do" hand shaking or hugging, etc. It was nice during covid when it was normalised not to get into other people's personal space.

Delatron · 23/09/2026 11:53

AuntieBiotics · 23/09/2026 09:13

Confined space with often a very elderly demographic of passengers. We all know that for someone in their 30s or 40s a dose of Covid or norovirus is unpleasant and spoils your holiday. For a passenger in their 80s or 90s with underlying conditions it's a whole other ball game and on ship the last thing they want is to have the medical centre full and potentially having to airlift very sick people off the ship.

Yes I’m agreeing with it. However nobody at any age wants a dose of norovirus. Repeated Covid infections can impact your immune system an each infection you have a 10% risk of long Covid. Lots of children are living with long Covid. This is true for all ages and the most common group for long Covid is women aged 45-55.

What is so bad about wanting to reduce infections? I am self employed if I get ill I lose money. Of course I don’t want to be ill.

Delatron · 23/09/2026 11:57

Badbadbunny · 23/09/2026 10:36

You don't have to be in the elderly demographic to be immuno compromised or to have serious underlying health conditions.

My DH has had cancer since his early 50s, so everyone in our family practices good hygiene to protect him, as if we catch something, we're highly likely to pass it to him simply by being in the same house. That means not shaking hands, washing hands constantly throughout the day, using hand sanitiser after touching door handles or handrails, or money, etc. No one comes into our home unless absolutely necessary, other than friends and family who know about his condition and respect good hygiene practices themselves.

He says the "only" place he's ever felt "safe" was on a cruise ship due to the precautions, facilities, etc - even there, we didn't let the stewards/cleaners into the cabin, didn't go to the busy restaurants at busy times, etc, but it was an absolute pleasure to see the hand gel stations everywhere, automatic doors, etc.

The place he feels least safe is the GP surgery and our local hospital where no one appears to practice good hygiene and where even the toilets often have empty soap dispensers, etc. We often say it's no surprise at all that viruses sweep through hospital wards in Winter, such as norovirus, c-diff etc as the staff basically ignore airborne viruses and anything they can't see i.e. clear fluids - they're obsessed with blood and will clean it immediately, but aren't remotely interested in touch points, airborne, etc. When we were last in the out patients waiting room, there was a cleaner going round wiping the door handles and light switches, but he was doing it with a dry duster - utterly useless and pointless as you need some kind of cleaning fluid or at least an Anti-Bac wet wipe - it was just to give the impression that things were being cleaned.

I’m sorry about your DH and I agree with you about hospitals and GPs and these are the places that should be all over it. There should be hepa filters )I know there’s no money but still) constant cleaning. No touch doors,
open windows!!!

Don’t get me started about the touchscreen check in system at my GPs - great idea to get a load of ill people touching the same screen!

TheeNotoriousPIG · 23/09/2026 12:17

I prefer it to hugging, which my manager tried to insist on me doing with a work colleague that likes to get other people into trouble. Needless to say, I said no.

Limboingalong · 23/09/2026 13:16

I mainly shook hands at work. I don’t really have to do it now, so haven’t given it much thought. I rarely get to leave the house now and no longer work - long covid. I hate the irony of going to health appointments where you then catch something. I hate how many people’s lives have been ruined by this illness, or that people think it’s rare, the amount of children with it, the amount of people who will find themselves fucked after this wave.

YANBU OP, but I can control where I put my hands, so this bothers me less than the airborne nature and enforced infection. Children are told to stay away for 48 hours after their last v or d bout, even if they feel ok.They are told to attend with covid, although long covid is not rare in children and can absolutely fuck their lives and education.

Badbadbunny · 23/09/2026 14:00

Delatron · 23/09/2026 11:57

I’m sorry about your DH and I agree with you about hospitals and GPs and these are the places that should be all over it. There should be hepa filters )I know there’s no money but still) constant cleaning. No touch doors,
open windows!!!

Don’t get me started about the touchscreen check in system at my GPs - great idea to get a load of ill people touching the same screen!

The fools even have touch screen check in at our hospital's oncology department reception, so basically everyone "checking in" will be immunocompromised due to chemotherapy etc. My DH's haematologist tried to shake his hand at their last face to face consultation! They really don't take cross infection seriously at all.

Limboingalong · 23/09/2026 14:12

@delatron,HEPA filters would be an overall cost saving though. WHO, Ministry of Defence, Parliament etc addressed indoor air very early in the pandemic.

luckylavender · 23/09/2026 14:16

I hate shaking hands. Never quite sure how hard to go, it's a minefield before the hygiene consideration.

.

paddleboardingmum · 23/09/2026 20:42

I don't like the whole thing either @luckylavender
I never really enjoyed it before the pandemic, but during that it was drummed into us not to shake hands and then we had to do the elbow bump thing, which I would rather still do now if it was still an option. For me it's hard to un-remember how many germs it is meant to spread.

Interesting comments and clearly most people are happy to still shake hands and think IABU.

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