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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to count my son’s bedroom makeover as a birthday gift?

175 replies

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:19

My son is turning 8 next month and we are planning to decorate his bedroom as part of his birthday.
He needs a few things doing anyway - fresh paint, a new rug, some storage, and generally making it feel a bit more grown up.
Part of me thinks it will be really exciting for him and a nice birthday surprise, but another part of me feels a bit guilty because decorating his room is arguably something we should be doing anyway, rather than counting it as a birthday present.

He is having a birthday party, so it’s not his only birthday treat, but I’m wondering what other parents think.
Is decorating a child’s bedroom for their birthday a bit off, or is it a perfectly reasonable birthday gift when it’s something they’ll genuinely enjoy and benefit from?

Would you have considered a room makeover as part of a birthday when your children were around this age?

OP posts:
LemonTT · 21/09/2026 16:17

Not the point but are they gaming at 8 now?

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 21/09/2026 16:16

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

This sounds like loads tbh?!

I think you're just fine. He'll love his new room.

It's insane how overblown birthdays have become now!!

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 16:13

Smartiepants79 · 21/09/2026 16:08

Your 7 year old might not. Mine did. It is possible that different children will respond to this in different ways. The OP knows her child best and can decide if it’s going to work for him.

Show quote history

So on the day - were you repeating to your kids “remember your lovely redecorated bedroom!!”

How old were yours at the time?

thislittlelife · 21/09/2026 16:13

I'm really surprised at people's responses to this. The gaming theme sounds really exciting to an 8yo, my 8yo boy would be over the moon and absolutely chuffed with this as a present. I'd probably spend a small amount on gifts to unwrap on the day as well - and presumably he'll have gifts from friends attending the party (and extended family as well)?

Edit: typos

Shmee1988 · 21/09/2026 16:11

We did it for our DS but it was his 10th birthday. We decorated, put up wall stickers and made him a gaming station with LED lights. He loved it and didnt really need or ask for much in the way of presents. It can be a great birthday idea if he actually wants his room done.

Goodgriefisthatrue · 21/09/2026 16:10

Not at 8 no, if it needs doing, it needs doing. A lady at work did this and had to laugh (whilst being a bit mortified) when she heard her DD say to her mate who asked what she got, ‘I got a new rug!’. 🤣🤣. At 8 thats not top of their wish list tbh!

Smartiepants79 · 21/09/2026 16:08

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:53

A 7 year old on his 8th birthday is categorically not going to think about his freshly painted walls and new rug and furniture and regard them as birthday presents. He just won’t.

Show quote history

Your 7 year old might not. Mine did. It is possible that different children will respond to this in different ways. The OP knows her child best and can decide if it’s going to work for him.

geumsun · 21/09/2026 16:01

What have you lined up for Christmas? Maybe having the guttering cleaned outside his window? A rewire?

Grumpyoldcat · 21/09/2026 15:58

Whats the problem. He is 8 and will love it. Do you have to tell him its for his birthday? Personally I dont see why not. Perhaps a shopping trip to the swedish store would be a good idea too.

Morepositivemum · 21/09/2026 15:56

No, I think under a certain age things like clothes, bikes and redecorations are just a part of life. But as others have said as you’re going party and other present I don’t really know why there’s a thread!!

Mouldemort · 21/09/2026 15:55

He has plenty of gifts - you just don't need to worry about it.

Nevermind31 · 21/09/2026 15:55

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

I wouldn’t see redecorating a bedroom as a present. Same as the party. For me they are just part of what a child should have.
But I also consider the presents you bought as plenty, and wouldn’t buy more

Enuffnowtbh · 21/09/2026 15:54

Dayglojuice · 21/09/2026 14:22

I wouldn’t count this as a present but I might reduce what I spent on an actual present if money was tight because of the bedroom.

This.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 21/09/2026 15:52

I don't think you can call the redecorated bedroom a gift, no. But some of the stuff that goes in the bedroom? Of course you can.

neon gaming light plus new bedding

The neon gaming light in particular. Wrap it up for him, boom. The bedding is a bit more boring, but all kids end up with some functional gift on their birthday or christmas that they don't actually care about.

Nameychangington · 21/09/2026 15:50

Only if he asked for it as a birthday present. My DD had this as a birthday present at 17 because she asked for it, wanted a double bed instead of a single, chose the carpet and paint etc. She's super hard to buy for so it also helped relatives have something to buy her like lamps, double bedding etc. At his age I think doing their room is just part of having a child personally.

wheresthesnowgone · 21/09/2026 15:46

No 8 year old NEEDS fresh paint or a new rug.

Buy the kid a decent birthday present instead.

Infracat · 21/09/2026 15:46

Yes YABU

bridgetreilly · 21/09/2026 15:44

Onelifeonly · 21/09/2026 15:06

A child of 8 doesn't care that much about having their bedroom decorated. If you own your house, you are potentially adding to its saleability in the future - but one day he will most likely not even be living there. YABU. A child only gets 18 birthdays as a child and won't remember the first few.

I did! It is one of the few birthday gifts I do remember. Maybe the only one, even.

bridgetreilly · 21/09/2026 15:42

Also, I would genuinely make it a big surprise. Have him sleep somewhere else while the work its being done, with big no entry signs on the door, then a wrapping paper ‘wall’ for him to break through to see it on his actual birthday. Make it a thing so it feels exciting. Maybe put all his other gifts in there too.

Yewlez · 21/09/2026 15:40

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

This is plenty! It's fine, don't feel guilty. He will have a lovely birthday.

bridgetreilly · 21/09/2026 15:38

I think it’s fine, especially if he is allowed some of the choice and is excited about it. I had a room decorated for my 7th or 8th birthday and loved it.

MysteryParcel · 21/09/2026 15:38

My parents raised us like this and as a result all of my brother’s have had problems with their significant others when they inevitably incorporated something that needed doing / getting anyway into their partner’s birthday presents 😂

Mumofoneandone · 21/09/2026 15:37

Maybe decorating his walls is standard home maintenance but all the accessories can definitely count as birthday presents!!
My DD had a laptop for her birthday - needed for school and other bits and pieces from other relatives for school. As did my DS. They are both more than thrilled by this!
My DD really needs new bedroom curtains - these are likely to be her main Christmas present!
If children get too many bits and pieces through the year I don't think they are appreciated.

Rewis · 21/09/2026 15:37

You have already bought him multiple presents to unwrap. Why would the redecorating the room need to be a present? And why are you buying even more stuff now?

Everybodysinthehousetonight · 21/09/2026 15:36

No, I would not treat this as a birthday gift for an 8 year old.