AIBU to count my son’s bedroom makeover as a birthday gift?

You can’t speak about all children the same. My kids most definitely would have enjoyed this as a big part of their birthday gifts. My kids also liked new underpants and socks for birthdays and Christmases and still do in their 20s! Yet on here I read that clothes don’t count as presents for young kids. It is all child-specific. My son was once very excited about a rug with a rocket on when he was 5/6.

Is that because they won't get it any other way?

Oh OP you’ve had a hard time on here! Don’t really know why, I think what you are suggesting is absolutely fine! You’ve got him some nice gifts (switch games and Lego sets are bloody expensive!), he’s having a party and the room sounds lovely! You could make it seem more of an occasion by maybe doing a big ‘reveal’ of the room but other than that you do not need to buy him more gifts 🙄

No. It is not a birthday gift. It’s upgrading the decor. It’ll be nice but not a gift.

It’s completely fine. You should have put that he was getting presents from you as well at the start, as well as a party.

Is it what he's asked for or is it something you want?

This would be my approach. Unless the bedroom makeover is really above and beyond normal kids bedroom, I wouldn’t call it a present. But your household income is what it is, and maybe you have to spend less on presents to manage. I just wouldn’t frame it that way, as it feels pretty harsh to a child. Especially if you ever have any decorating done elsewhere in the house and it isn’t a birthday present to you!

Some of the cooler items you buy being framed as presents is totally fine. Just not the actual decorating or things like rugs, mainstream furniture etc.

Of course it’s not a birthday present. What’s wrong with you!

Now you are just spiraling.

The gifts seem ok on their own.

And, while I wouldn't count the wallpapering, gaming-styled furniture and accessories would count in my eyes.

I think at 8 my DS wouldn't have considered it a present. He was more about the quantity and size of presents- even if they were cheap. He's 12 now and I've treated it as part of his birthday presents for 2 years. This is because he picks a theme, and wants new bedding, light shades, curtains, rugs, wall decor, accessories etc, as well as repainting the walls.
It really didn't need redecorating at all. If it did, and he needed new furniture, that would be something I'd do as part of home maintenance, but wanting loads of new accessories etc, that pushes it into present territory for me.
Yes, he still gets other presents (he now has much more expensive tastes), but not as many or as much spent if he didn't want his room redoing.

I’ve done this for my daughter and she loved it! She didn’t look at it as her room being painted she focussed on all the cool new things she had that made the room feel special, personalised and more grown-up.

So he’s not getting new paint, he’s getting loads of awesome new gaming things for his bedroom, neon light etc

If you are, as you describe, "moving him on" from a young child's bedroom to a more grown up room and he is on-board and involved in the choosing of the theme, then I think it's totally fine to make it part of his birthday present, especially if you are buying a gaming chair etc.

We bought DS a gaming chair for a birthday so that in itself is a good present anyway.

If you were just giving it a spruce and re-doing the woodwork, then I would have said no.

But doing as you describe is lovely 🙂

As long as he is clear that it is most of his birthday present and you get him couple of small gifts to open on the day. I think my parents did this when I was little younger but old enough to choose the colour/pattern. I thought it was really fun going around looking at different wallpapers and fabrics.

YABU very very unreasonable! That’s not a gift! That is your duty as a parent. I loathe it when I see this whole bedroom makeover for a birthday. Ugh. That’s an insult. Even worse getting him to “ agree” that it’s a gift!

I think you're doing plenty! You've said he's having a party and you've got him other gifts, whacking this on as birthday cheer is a lot! I did all this for my son's tenth birthday and he was made up!t

We've never had loads of money so we've treated bedroom revamps as part of birthdays or Christmas presents over the years. My stepdaughter asked for a new duvet cover for Christmas so amongst her presents were also a new bin, curtains, cushions - some I'd painted to match the new design, other things were a craft project for us to do together (e.g. dip dying her curtains). Redecorating gets really expensive so I don't see anything wrong with wrapping stuff up to show that it's a treat and a gift - she was really into homewares at the time! My sister asked for a desk for her birthday one year so she had a new proper desk. I made do with one that was thrown out of my dad's old office because I didn't really care so much.

It's the same with driving lessons - we'd have paid anyway but with the two older ones we wrapped up a voucher, L plates, car airfreshener etc - you make a thing of it.

Its a bit shit alright. Kids shouldn't have essential clothes and house maintenance as birthday presents.

Trust me, I grew up less than half of fuck all and it sucks going to school telling people you got new school shoes for Christmas.

We did this with both our kids. They got new beds and decorated rooms. We wrapped the bedroom door up and put a few balloons in and they loved it

You should not give your Son a bedroom makeover as a birthday gift. That's a terrible thing to do. He is a child and he will be expecting a present. You, as his mum, should be providing a nice bedroom anyway. What an awful birthday he will have with no present.

Sorry but I think this is totally unreasonable as decorating is not a gift. The surprise part is nice as part of the birthday but I wouldn’t include any financial costs as part of his gift

Right on - so “plenty” of other gifts

The Op didn’t mention the great line of presents she’d got in addition in her OP

My daughter had a trip to Ikea for a room makeover for her 8th or 9th birthday. She had some pressies too, but that was the main thing. We didn’t even redecorate as such but she got loads of things to make the room more hers such as lamps, fake plants (she wanted a forest vibe), pictures in frames etc. If he is really excited about it, and you are tailoring it to him I think it’s fine. Especially as he has some bits and bobs to open too. YANBU

Cannot precisely remember. Around 7 the first time I think. Then about 12.
And we didn’t set it up like that. The decoration would be done either just before or just after their birthday. As with the OP, they would have presents, around which would be some of the things that they were having for the new bedroom. Bedding, lamp, mirror etc. depending on theme and what they wanted. There was still plenty of things to open and get excited about.
If there are presents to go alongside it I really don’t get why it’s such an awful thing to do. Children get given far too much crap anyway. Lots of which ends up in the charity shops in a year.

I wouldn't consider it a present, no. It'd be nice to have it done for their bday, but saying decorating a room is a bday gift for an 8 year old boy is a pretty shit present from his point of view if you aren't getting usual presents to unwrap (I have a just turned 9 year old boy). I consider decorating a child's room something basic you do as a parent every few years as they outgrow themes and their likes change.

I’d count it as a gift yes. Since it is cosmetic and you’ve bought accessories.