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AIBU?

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AIBU to be annoyed at my husband over something that happened at my sister’s wedding?

175 replies

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:02

I was one of the bridesmaids at my sister’s wedding. We were walking down a slope, and another bridesmaid was ahead of me. She was wearing high heels and was struggling a bit to walk down, so my husband, who was at the bottom, helped her.
I was coming down after her, and my husband could see me. He actually signalled to me to wait, and then went back to help the same bridesmaid again.
This is what annoyed me. He had already helped her earlier, and when he saw me coming down, I assumed he would come towards me next, especially as I'm his wife. Instead, he chose to help her first again and told me to wait.
I don't think he was necessarily doing anything inappropriate. She was genuinely struggling in her high heels, and perhaps he was simply being a gentleman and helping her.
But I still felt a bit annoyed that he saw me and chose to help her first. Maybe it's completely irrational, but I couldn't help thinking, "I'm your wife standing right here!"
AIBU for feeling annoyed about this, or was he simply being helpful and I'm making too much of a small thing?

OP posts:
Bedlingtonwarrior · 21/09/2026 16:05

FFS.
The girl was before you in the queue and your husband acted like a gentleman.
You should be should be proud of his actions.

Grumpyoldcat · 21/09/2026 16:00

Its because you are his wife that he knew you would be so understanding of his gallantry.

CarpeVitam · 21/09/2026 15:58

In the kindest way OP, I think this is more to do with some insecurity in yourself than what you H did / didn’t do.

FluffMagnet · 21/09/2026 15:57

So your husband kindly helped someone in need on difficult terrain, and had the audacity to ask you to wait until he had got this person where she needed to go before he started helping you? In your mind, should he: a) abandoned her whilst she was still struggling to run to the aid of his wife, who was not yet on the tricky terrain, or b) split himself in two/cloned himself to be available to render assistance in two different places at the same time?

Come on OP, I think you know YABU here...

Letsbe · 21/09/2026 15:56

LTB behaving kindly to another woman at a wedding.

MaryIngallsRibbons · 21/09/2026 15:52

rubyslippers · 21/09/2026 14:13

I miss the laugh emoji

I thought the same!

gannett · 21/09/2026 15:48

Bridesmaidorexfriend · 21/09/2026 15:44

I kind of get it, lol. It’s petty though.

My wife will physically pull me out of peoples way if I’m walking and someone wants to get passed, or if I’m looking at something on a shelf and someone else wants to look near me, and it really annoys me lol. I’m like hey I have as much right to exist in this space as this other person, you’re my wife, why are you moving me and prioritising this stranger?

I let it go though as she will just say I lack awareness of my surroundings and it’s true to an extent lol

Edited

I do this to DH sometimes. He has a bad habit of not noticing runners coming towards us on paths (or not caring) and not moving to the side for them. I'm a runner and this behaviour does my head in from others, so my loyalties are entirely with the runners!

gannett · 21/09/2026 15:47

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 15:41

I think that feeling that your husband prioritised another woman for something inconsequential is valid. It’s not LTB territory,
but it’s valid.

Like I said in my other post, this incident wasn't a deliberate choice by the husband to prioritise another woman and snub his wife. It was helping someone who needed help and who was literally and physically in front. It was about logic, not "prioritisation". Interpreting it as "not being prioritised" is more reflective of the OP's jockeying-for-status main character syndrome, rather than what actually happened.

SorryforyourlossMoveon · 21/09/2026 15:46

MajorSamanthaCarter · 21/09/2026 14:13

Unless he led her down by the boobs I'm not seeing the problem.

😂😂😂

gamerchick · 21/09/2026 15:44

Did you also need help going down a slope?

Bridesmaidorexfriend · 21/09/2026 15:44

I kind of get it, lol. It’s petty though.

My wife will physically pull me out of peoples way if I’m walking and someone wants to get passed, or if I’m looking at something on a shelf and someone else wants to look near me, and it really annoys me lol. I’m like hey I have as much right to exist in this space as this other person, you’re my wife, why are you moving me and prioritising this stranger?

I let it go though as she will just say I lack awareness of my surroundings and it’s true to an extent lol

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 15:41

gannett · 21/09/2026 15:39

She shouldn't have felt slighted, is the thing.

Not all feelings are valid.

I think that feeling that your husband prioritised another woman for something inconsequential is valid. It’s not LTB territory,
but it’s valid.

gannett · 21/09/2026 15:39

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 15:39

I’d say so, if she felt slighted, which she did.

She shouldn't have felt slighted, is the thing.

Not all feelings are valid.

gannett · 21/09/2026 15:39

This encapsulates the obsession I've seen on MN about being "the priority" - or in other words wanting the world to revolve around you.

Sometimes someone else is just in more need, or it's their turn, or in this case they were literally, physically before you. Your husband helping them is a reflection of that and nothing else.

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 15:39

StarPyjamas · 21/09/2026 14:31

Fuck me.

He's supposed to apologise for doing a decent, human thing because his wife is a princess??

I’d say so, if she felt slighted, which she did.

NewGoldFox · 21/09/2026 15:23

Wow at some of the totally unnecessary and nasty comments on this thread. The woman is asking for a bit of consideration as his wife not both of his kidneys.

Paganpentacle · 21/09/2026 15:17

MajorSamanthaCarter · 21/09/2026 14:13

Unless he led her down by the boobs I'm not seeing the problem.

😂

Dweetfidilove · 21/09/2026 15:17

MajorSamanthaCarter · 21/09/2026 14:13

Unless he led her down by the boobs I'm not seeing the problem.

Thanks for the laugh 😂😂, because this is so self-centred and ridiculous 🙄.

OttersOnAPlane · 21/09/2026 15:13

He saw a woman was struggling and helped her. He did not see that you were struggling, and you haven't said you couldn't manage.

He was being a decent, helpful person. Why would you object to this? Is there some backstory that means you're insecure? Is she his ex or something?

chirrupybird · 21/09/2026 15:12

Might have been easier to help her all the way then come back to help you rather than running back and fore.

AdeleRochester · 21/09/2026 15:09

I don’t see what he has done wrong. He could only help one at a time so took them in order

I’d have been proud that my DH had noticed that the bridesmaids were struggling and wondering why all the other men were so inattentive that none of them helped.

MiniPantherOwner · 21/09/2026 15:04

Unless there's a drip feed that you were all being pursued by a hoard of zombies or they'd called last orders at the bar I'm not sure what the problem was.

Moveoverdarlin · 21/09/2026 15:01

This reply has been deleted

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FromaBubblegumTree · 21/09/2026 14:58

Gosh, what an absolute cad and bounder your DH is.

Obviously he should have pushed the bridesmaid in front of you to the floor, stuck her stilettos up her nose and carried you, triumphantly, down the aisle in a fireman's carry.

Or not...

DozyCrow · 21/09/2026 14:56

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:48

He was helping the same bridesmaid on 2 different occasions.

But you said she was ahead of you, so he was making sure she got down safely first, even if it took two attempts. I think you're being completely irrational and he was just trying to be a gentleman and be helpful.

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