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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed at my husband over something that happened at my sister’s wedding?

175 replies

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:02

I was one of the bridesmaids at my sister’s wedding. We were walking down a slope, and another bridesmaid was ahead of me. She was wearing high heels and was struggling a bit to walk down, so my husband, who was at the bottom, helped her.
I was coming down after her, and my husband could see me. He actually signalled to me to wait, and then went back to help the same bridesmaid again.
This is what annoyed me. He had already helped her earlier, and when he saw me coming down, I assumed he would come towards me next, especially as I'm his wife. Instead, he chose to help her first again and told me to wait.
I don't think he was necessarily doing anything inappropriate. She was genuinely struggling in her high heels, and perhaps he was simply being a gentleman and helping her.
But I still felt a bit annoyed that he saw me and chose to help her first. Maybe it's completely irrational, but I couldn't help thinking, "I'm your wife standing right here!"
AIBU for feeling annoyed about this, or was he simply being helpful and I'm making too much of a small thing?

OP posts:
ThatCosy · 21/09/2026 22:05

Surely guests/ those outside the family first for politeness stuff like this . It would be embarrassing if he helped you first.

Coconutter24 · 21/09/2026 21:29

NewGoldFox · 21/09/2026 15:23

Wow at some of the totally unnecessary and nasty comments on this thread. The woman is asking for a bit of consideration as his wife not both of his kidneys.

I don’t think I’ve read anything nasty.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 21/09/2026 21:21

Who walks down a hill at a wedding?? In high heels! Downhill in heels is extremely difficult. I think you should be directing your anger at your sister for a stupid choice of venue and footwear.

handsdownthebest · 21/09/2026 20:53

Gosh you sound like a teenager. Get a grip...

Seziah · 21/09/2026 20:36

You haven’t answered whether he came back and helped you so I assume he did. I think you are being a bit jealous/insecure. It’s lovely that your husband sees people struggling and wants to help, even if it’s more than once! If he helps other people but not you then obviously that is different - but you haven’t said he bends over backwards for attractive young women and never his wife and kids, or some of the other things you read about on MN. Going on the limited info in this post I think he sounds kind and you have somehow turned it into a negative

PunnyPlumPanda · 21/09/2026 20:32

Springsunshine28 · 21/09/2026 14:02

I was one of the bridesmaids at my sister’s wedding. We were walking down a slope, and another bridesmaid was ahead of me. She was wearing high heels and was struggling a bit to walk down, so my husband, who was at the bottom, helped her.
I was coming down after her, and my husband could see me. He actually signalled to me to wait, and then went back to help the same bridesmaid again.
This is what annoyed me. He had already helped her earlier, and when he saw me coming down, I assumed he would come towards me next, especially as I'm his wife. Instead, he chose to help her first again and told me to wait.
I don't think he was necessarily doing anything inappropriate. She was genuinely struggling in her high heels, and perhaps he was simply being a gentleman and helping her.
But I still felt a bit annoyed that he saw me and chose to help her first. Maybe it's completely irrational, but I couldn't help thinking, "I'm your wife standing right here!"
AIBU for feeling annoyed about this, or was he simply being helpful and I'm making too much of a small thing?

I would be really proud that he did that myself.

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 21/09/2026 20:23

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 14:03

How long ago was this? I’d have mentioned it to my husband the next day, I can never stew over this type of thing. I’d have expected an immediate apology.

Over him helping someone before you? You'd actually want him to apologise? I can't believe how hard some people must work to make themselves upset/annoyed with their partner.

DDIY · 21/09/2026 20:20

You are being unreasonable... But, depending on the circumstances and my hormones, there's a chance I'd be miffed, too!

It's definitely one to let go. He sounds like a gentleman. He probably thought you two would be on the same page and that's why he could trust that you'd wait for him.

Hope you had an awesome day.

SylvanMoon · 21/09/2026 20:16

Obviously, you have to LTB over this terrible faux pas, after blocking him on all channels and locking him out of your house. It's unforgiveable. 😹

Mother1981 · 21/09/2026 20:12

Have not read the other replies but this is my husband all over. Will walk over hot coals at events to help other women and it drives me nuts! Everyone thinks he is amazing and such a gentleman

Calliopespa · 21/09/2026 19:56

I'm with you OP.

He shoulda knocked that bitch to the ground and rolled her down the hill with a backward kick, while screaming frantically "I'm coming my love, my princess, in whose presence all others cease to exist."

Throw this one back ...

JenRummy · 21/09/2026 19:54

Jeez oh OP, this is not worth ruminating about. Let it go.

Grammarnut · 21/09/2026 19:52

Leopardspota · 21/09/2026 14:03

How long ago was this? I’d have mentioned it to my husband the next day, I can never stew over this type of thing. I’d have expected an immediate apology.

Apology for what? OP's DH helped a young woman who had chosen unsuitable footwear. She needed helping twice. OP seems to have been okay walking down the slope and did not need help. Is it wrong to help someone, even if the reason they are in trouble is their own fault?

Scotter · 21/09/2026 19:47

Why wear shoes you can’t walk in? Why disable yourself on purpose? Sheesh!

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 21/09/2026 19:47

You sound batshit.

GiveOverRover · 21/09/2026 19:44

The BRUTE.

KilkennyCats · 21/09/2026 19:34

What sort of a “slope” were you all teetering down that you needed a man to help you?!
Tell me it wasn’t the aisle of the church? 😂

EatingHealthy · 21/09/2026 19:30

MajorSamanthaCarter · 21/09/2026 14:13

Unless he led her down by the boobs I'm not seeing the problem.

😂

SoupSoup · 21/09/2026 19:27

Scout2016 · 21/09/2026 19:18

Spit it out, what's the drip feed OP? She's his super model ex? She was the OW in an affair? You're 9 months pregnant and had a broken leg?

😀

FromaBubblegumTree · 21/09/2026 19:27

I expect this thread will vanish in a cloud of smoke soon - just like the other recent ones where OPs got their arses handed to them.

Scout2016 · 21/09/2026 19:18

Spit it out, what's the drip feed OP? She's his super model ex? She was the OW in an affair? You're 9 months pregnant and had a broken leg?

CurlewKate · 21/09/2026 19:09

Of course he should have finished helping her then come back for you! What do you think he should have done?

ThreadGuardDog · 21/09/2026 19:06

Meh !!

ThatGoldScroller · 21/09/2026 19:02

He sounds polite/ like he was trying to help. On the basis of this alone YABU

heylulu87 · 21/09/2026 18:39

Should he have shoved her down came back and carried you? 🤣

I'd leave it.

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