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AIBU?

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Report neighbour or leave him alone?

84 replies

sparklywindmill · 21/09/2026 12:26

We have an elderly man across the road who is a terrible driver, he takes ages to manoeuvre his car into a space in the street going back and forth, getting out to look and then pulling back out and in again several times before ending up exactly where he was in the first place with one end sticking out at an angle, you can see his car is covered in dents and scrapes.

He is a lovely man but I am concerned about his driving ability and also as there is only on street parking I’m concerned about him damaging other cars and probably not noticing as he was millimetres from my car the other day, even he got out and had a look to see if he’d hit it before pulling forward.
There was no damage but I’ve found myself watching nervously now whenever he is parking.

OP posts:
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TheThirteenthFairy · 23/09/2026 12:27

Oreosareawful · 21/09/2026 12:51

Yes, report. You're doing it for his safety as well as others.

I reported someone to the DVLA as 'an impaired driver'. I did it online. He no longer drives. I regret nearly everything in my life, but not this.

OptimalFETlistmaker · 23/09/2026 07:20

I reported my MIL who lost her licence, I also reported my next door neighbour, who didn’t lose their licence but had a crash 3 weeks later and gave up. I work in a hospital and see the lasting effects of car accidents so always report this kind of thing.

rookiemere · 23/09/2026 07:15

I have been driving for almost 40 years and avoid tight reversing situations. Unlike DF towards the end I have no issues with reversing out from a wide driveway, parking at the supermarket in drive in spaces and leaving appropriate time to turn safely with full awareness of surrounding traffic. I am a perfectly safe driver and as I don’t particularly enjoy driving, like DM I will be completely prepared to stop once I feel I am not 100% safe.

What I am not so good at is being judge, jury and executioner on the matter of DFs driving, all this whilst trying to manage two elder people with dementia living an hour away unprepared to make the necessary adaptations or accept their conditions as an only DC. When DF was finally told to stop driving by the doctor it was the right thing to happen. If I had been the one telling him he probably would have cut me off, although as at that point I was effectively running their household and doing everything for them, it might have been a bit tricky for him.

If the DVLA can’t make some simple adjustments there should be an advertising campaign or something to make people aware it’s their civic duty to report unsafe driving not just tell the adult DCs, job done.

seahorsessky · 22/09/2026 21:40

If he keeps checking, he's just over careful. I know young drivers like this, takes forever to park, but they are actually less likely to crash as they're so OTT. Admittedly they sometimes annoy other drivers.
But a lot of older people would struggle to get about and don't feel safe on the bus. I do think people with certain disabilities (of any age) should get subsidised Uber, both for their sake and so if they're not safe to drive, they are more comfortable to give up their licence. I am obviously NOT saying everyone with a disability is unsafe-far from it-I mean anyone who is.

pinkstripeycat · 22/09/2026 21:29

Hereforadviceee · 21/09/2026 13:30

I’m terrible at doing a few parking manoeuvres like that. Not long passed and learned with cameras and sensors so when I got my cheap car it was very different that I just park a way that’s more comfortable to me. At my last address I had to parella park and I think if what you are seeing is his everyday park we all do, even a driver who’s not great at those manoeuvres, tends to be able to do the parking where they live.
It does actually show the severity if he’s not handling a parking space he regularly parks in. Sure when you drive and park somewhere new it can take a while but your home base should be without thinking really.

If you had a driving instructor they don’t sound good.

pinkstripeycat · 22/09/2026 21:26

GiveOverRover · 21/09/2026 12:33

We had an elderly lady over the road who's driving deteriorated in a similar way, it got terrible. I didn't want to insert myself and be responsible for limiting her getting out and about, and it resolved itself in the end. The car was sold and that was her stuck in the house. There are plenty of terrible drivers out there and you can't 'report' them all.

No but you can report the ones you witness who potentially can’t see and may kill someone which happens more often than you think

AgentPidge · 22/09/2026 21:24

HoppingPavlova · 21/09/2026 12:33

You could be talking about me, but I have been that way for nearly 50 years driving, nothing to do with age. Takes me between 10-15mins for an average reverse park if I need to do it (will do anything possible to avoid), and can take up to 10mins pulling into tight parking spots where I don’t have choice if parking is limited. That’s with reverse and front cameras and sensors🫢. No dents on car though, or hitting any other car, which is why I take so long, so this doesn’t happen. No issue with general driving though, just parking, and I’ve never had an accident where I have been at fault.

Edited

Similar here. I'm an experienced driver but not always great at parking. No accidents in 46 years touch wood. I'd be very annoyed if someone reported me for taking a long time reversing into a space.

FaceIt · 22/09/2026 21:17

I think I would report him to DVLA before he causes injury.

Allseeingallknowing · 22/09/2026 21:08

SassyLemonFish · 22/09/2026 19:47

For god knows long this has come up in parliament. There was a coroner’s report recently too about 3 deaths due to elderly drivers with extremely poor eyesight. That coroner suggests that self-reporting is not working. Apparently there are hundreds of thousands of dementia sufferers but, according to the dvla, only about 30k. This shows the extent to which elderly drivers fail to report their notifiable conditions to the dvla.

Then they should do as they do in Spain- compulsory, designated medical centres to test eyesight, hearing and reactions, plus review medication prior to renewing the driving licence.

SassyLemonFish · 22/09/2026 19:47

CurlyKoalie · 22/09/2026 09:11

I never understand why the onus is put onto the driver to report to the DVLA they have sight issues even when they are severe. Surely it can't be beyond modern technology for the NHS platform to contact the DVLA platform to suspend a driving licence if there are any medical issues , or a driver has failed to report for a mandatory medical test related to driving?

For god knows long this has come up in parliament. There was a coroner’s report recently too about 3 deaths due to elderly drivers with extremely poor eyesight. That coroner suggests that self-reporting is not working. Apparently there are hundreds of thousands of dementia sufferers but, according to the dvla, only about 30k. This shows the extent to which elderly drivers fail to report their notifiable conditions to the dvla.

CurlyKoalie · 22/09/2026 15:31

aodirjjd · 22/09/2026 12:24

There isn’t an automated process for DVLA to get notified about eye tests/ medical conditions because it would cause people to avoid doctors /eye tests /being honest with medical people for fear of losing their license.

Maybe true for some people, but I know from experience with my own father that you can actually go through all the medical tests and be registered partially sighted and no medical person said to my dad that he couldn't drive or had to contact the DVLA. I know it seems obvious, but he really did need someone in authority, like a doctor to spell it out to him. He didn't believe me.

HoppingPavlova · 22/09/2026 13:39

aodirjjd · 22/09/2026 12:24

There isn’t an automated process for DVLA to get notified about eye tests/ medical conditions because it would cause people to avoid doctors /eye tests /being honest with medical people for fear of losing their license.

We have a good system. Can’t speak for everywhere as our driving is State based, not National for requirements. Right from 17yo when you get a license, you need an eye test to renew (you need to renew in person and they do it there). When you are a young driver you have short periods for renewals as they give discounts for no driving offences and it’s more prominent in the younger population. Then your period for renewal increases. As you get older, the period for renewals decreases. You need an eye test there at each renewal. I’m now on 3 yearly as ‘older’. However, not old enough for the driving tests, I have nearly a decade yet for that I believe, then when I go to renew I need to take a driving test in addition to eyesight (luckily no parking involved though, just general driving😆).

Only real problem is there is nowhere enough testing slots to do the oldies along with people trying to get licenses in the first place, so they have accredited services where oldies can go and do the test and their ‘pass’ is electronically shunted through to the license people so they only need to do the eyesight test there. The oldies have to pay for that service if they don’t want to wait for gosh knows how long for the appointment with the licensing dept but the majority do pay for it. Only thing is we also have a hybrid category for oldies who are identified as being somewhat questionable and on the way to being struck off where they can be deemed okay to drive within 5km from home to access essential services on familiar roads and at some point in yearly testing that gets taken away when there is decreased confidence they can do that. Never understood that, as you are either okay to drive or you are not, but better than nothing I guess.

aodirjjd · 22/09/2026 12:24

There isn’t an automated process for DVLA to get notified about eye tests/ medical conditions because it would cause people to avoid doctors /eye tests /being honest with medical people for fear of losing their license.

rookiemere · 22/09/2026 10:07

CurlyKoalie · 22/09/2026 09:11

I never understand why the onus is put onto the driver to report to the DVLA they have sight issues even when they are severe. Surely it can't be beyond modern technology for the NHS platform to contact the DVLA platform to suspend a driving licence if there are any medical issues , or a driver has failed to report for a mandatory medical test related to driving?

Exactly!
Even when the DVLA did get in touch with DF it was a fairly incomprehensible form asking nicely if he felt he should still be driving. Given at the time DF would have struggled to tell you what day it was or if he had taken his daily insulin, it’s difficult to ascertain the point of it.

I feel it would be very easy to add in a simple on screen reflex test when people go in for their eyesight test for driving. It would cost very little and be easy to administer. Instead authorities ignore the problem and everyone else piles all responsibility for reporting and taking car keys in beleaguered adult DCs who have more than enough to worry about.

Happyjoe · 22/09/2026 09:18

We tried reporting our FIL! On the quiet because asking him countless of times to give up made him so very angry. He had bad eyesight, deaf. Driving, and yes, dented a neighbours car, knocked a biker off his bike in a carpark, ran over someone's foot. We informed the GP too. Absolutely nothing happened, DVLA did nothing, doc did nothing.

Hope you get a better response.

Joyunlimited · 22/09/2026 09:16

Foolish1984 · 21/09/2026 13:48

@HoppingPavlovaWith respect, you really shouldn’t be driving… You never should’ve been! Just because you’ve survived 50 years doesn’t make it ok, you’re going to kill someone eventually if you’re bad enough that it takes 10/15 mins to reverse park, my god! Driving requires you to be in much, much better control of your vehicle than that! You need to be in tune with every single inch of it!

Edited

Parking ability is not necessarily the same as driving ability.

My spatial awareness is crap - always has been, in all areas of life. It’s just the way my brain works (or doesn’t). It just means I have to take extra care judging small distances. However, I’ve been driving for 30 years, in built-up areas, city centres, on motorways, country lanes, all sorts of traffic conditions, and never been involved in any kind of accident. (I admit to having had to attend a speed awareness course, though, when I was caught doing 54 in a temporary 50 limit area).

Over-confident youngsters are, in my experience, far more likely to be dangerous drivers (as reflected in insurance rates).

OP's neighbour may be an unsafe driver who ought to be investigated, but you can’t tell necessarily from his parking skills.

OnTheBoardwalk · 22/09/2026 09:14

Report him, I have in the past for a neighbour who was clearly a danger to himself and others with his driving

a while later I was chatting to his son who said he was really pleased the DVLA stopped him driving as they were really concerned about him but he wouldn’t listen to anyone in the family telling him to stop driving

I didn’t say it was me who contacted DVLA but it confirmed I did the right thing and I would do it again. No harm done if DVLA says he is ok to continue driving

CurlyKoalie · 22/09/2026 09:11

I never understand why the onus is put onto the driver to report to the DVLA they have sight issues even when they are severe. Surely it can't be beyond modern technology for the NHS platform to contact the DVLA platform to suspend a driving licence if there are any medical issues , or a driver has failed to report for a mandatory medical test related to driving?

Allseeingallknowing · 22/09/2026 09:05

LittleMonks11 · 22/09/2026 08:06

Are you able to talk to him rather than report him?

The OP would not get a friendly reception!

TealScroller · 22/09/2026 08:45

My parents had a next door neighbour who was like this, they were stressing every time he left his driveway. In the end a neighbour on the same street reported him to the DVLA but I'm not sure it made a difference. He ended up driving his car into a shop window, luckily late at night. He still drove afterwards though, in a new car!

caringcarer · 22/09/2026 08:42

I hate reverse parking. I'd rather drive around and park somewhere much further away than have to reverse in. I've got reversing sensors too.

aodirjjd · 22/09/2026 08:41

I agonised over reporting someone then did, the dvla took 5 months to send them a letter and it basically asked her and her gp if she was hiding any medical issues. They didn’t account for a general deterioration. So she was signed off as fit to drive. Luckily she decided to stop driving a few months later.

CuteHANDBAG · 22/09/2026 08:37

I was about to report my own Dad but luckily the treat made him book his private cataract operations. He knew he shouldn’t be driving.

LetMeGoogleThat · 22/09/2026 08:33

I once reported a neighbour to DVLA, his eyesight had deteriorated so much he was pretty much driving from memory. I didn't do it in isolation, a few neighbours had noticed and we were concerned. I would rather that than he get in an accident.

Permanentlyundecided · 22/09/2026 08:10

Chickpeacurrywithrice · 21/09/2026 13:22

It also would’ve been a different outcome if whoever was responsible for the child didn’t let them run in the road!

So this is chicken or egg situation.

Wouldn't have helped the 3 year old killed by an elderly lady mounting the pavement near me a couple of years back. The point is a competent driver can handle emergency breaking etc,
Hitting the acceleration instead of the break seems quite common in panicking pensioners.
Yes if you have concerns OP I think it's your duty to report. I'll have no issue taking my dad's keys if he gets to that stage.