AIBU to think this reaction from a friend is bonkers? (and also insensitive)

There is a difference between discussing situations and sharing all the private messages with close family. You clearly don’t get the distinction and perhaps she’s not wrong in her feelings. For someone who claims to be her dear friend you slagged her off left right and centre, your tone here does not look like you an actual friend

I disagree.

The OP received a very bizarre response from someone who was supposed to be a close friend that made them rightly question how well they did actually know this person.

A nick-name is one of two things. It is either used to take the piss out of someone (probably someone you don't know that well or don't like) or it's used because you know someone really well and are close.

This nickname was used as it was someone they considered to be a close friend. The fact the friend then sent such a bizarre response to it is very much worthy of a sanity check and posting on here!

If my close friends messaged me with "Hey SlothyMcSlothface" then I'd think nothing of it. It's actually quite an honour to have a nick-name as it means I have a close friend who I'm really comfortable with.

If a school mum that I didn't know well messaged me with that greeting then that would be super odd!

But for a supposed close friend to consider a nickname an insult is really really weird.

I don’t understand this, most posts on this forum are about interactions or issues with friends and family, most people discuss issues and arguments with family too.

I think her reaction was weird to be honest. Yes she probably didn’t find it funny coming from your husband, but her stern response was odd.

She’s lowered the tone and personally I couldn’t be bothered pandering to somebody who gets so easily offended, I mispronounce most of my friends surnames for a laugh and it’s lighthearted.

I’d leave her to go be offended by a multitude of other things, but my friendship wouldn’t be one.

Your daughter has it! :D

It's a good idea to get this thread moved to 30 days only though @ChasingMars and hopefully mumsnet will agree to delete the posts with her direct texts.

Jeez you polling everyone in your life and sharing the messages with everyone including your daughter ! When the problem was exactly that you don’t treat her messages privately and don’t treat her with respect.

id say she’s well rid of you and I’d say her concerns were not baseless

"I've always thought of you as a cherished friend"?
Well that's a lie, or she doesn't know how to care for a cherished friend. Because she certainly has not been cherishing you or your friendship this week.

It's interesting to get an insight into the dynamics of your friendship. Obviously this is just one incident, but while she seems very comfortable navel-gazing and chastising you, you've vented here but been very agreeable and conciliatory in your messages to her. It does seem that you're not comfortable being as honest with her as she is with you.

Your daughter is wise.

She's being pathetic. This is ridiculous.

Why haven’t you just told her to ‘fuck off’?

There must be something wrong with me as I just don’t get all this bollocks. I’d have told her to get over here long ago and been glad I didn’t have to put up with her pompous twattery any more.

This is just all so over the top isn't it. It strikes me that if my husband did similar that I would be a bit peeved I was getting the brunt of it. You let him use your phone, you don't control him as a person.

She has interpreted what has happened through the lens of her own previous negative experiences outside of your relationship and doesn't have the insight to recognise this is what she's doing. So you're getting all the blame for whoever has upset her in the past. She is allowed to be upset. But if your relationship has always been close and you've treat her with support and kindness, and once you've apologised/ explained she still can't move on then it's not really about you anymore and she isn't basing this on her previous experience of you. So theres nothing you can do except grovel. I couldn't be bothered personally. Let her come to you

Oh dear god! She's still milking it!

Your response was a lot more than she deserved, and well worded.

Personally, I'd have just replied with "OK." It's a response that doesn't give any validity to her nonsense.

However, now you've replied and then had another reply back, agreeing to meet for coffee, I'd have to be a little bit naughty and at this stage I'd say, "I'll be in touch when I've had time to process."

Then distance yourself from this nutter.

I'd individually report the posts where you quoted her @ChasingMars

And if the thread does go up in smoke, I think you and your DH sound like nice people, hence bemusement and wrongfooting by the approach of 'Abbie'.

She’s really hung up on the laughing emojis. It might be worth at some point clarifying that it was you laughing at him, for writing such a silly message to your friend, not you and him laughing together at her.

Very helpful....not. One wonders what their criteria are for agree to requests like this.

Wow! I didn't realise posters weren't in total control of their posts. I shall be very careful myself!

I do agree with @ReleaseTheDucksOfWar and others that it would be an idea to ask MN to take the posts with the text conversations down. She's batshit and in the event she finds them, however unlikely it seems, it wouldn't be good.

It's all a bit stupendously overwrought.

If this is her reaction to a silly nickname, wait for the War and Peace edition of her response to finding out you've being C&P-ing her correspondence on AIBU.

😬😬😬

Putting on the deerstalker a bit, but if you have adult children and she's significantly older than you, she is the generation that grew up with the phone as a primary form of communication (and yeah, I mean landlines) and making calls was as natural as breathing. Unless she has eg hearing loss, her refusal of it seems very odd and quite controlling.

I would be so annoyed that a 'friend' turned to AI to compose her prissy, pissy, scolding missives that I would be saying no more at this point. Friends don't behave like this.

Jeeze. I have no idea why you gave her so much grace in your latest response. Yes, you called her out to a degree, but you also grovelled, which was unnecessary, and which she didn't deserve.

It's going to be as awkward as hell when you meet up. I'd have walked away by now.