To think it's impossible to work full time and keep a clean/tidy house without a cleaner?

My SIL did it .
However, she had a very long maternity leave , only one child , had a nanny for her son when he was too young for nursery school .
So the nanny cleaned up after everyone’s breakfast, did a bit of laundry 🧺 for them and tidied as she went.
Also my SIL hardly had a commute, her husband did all the food shopping + any errands that involved driving .
All household chores inside the home were shared eg he did hoovering and dusting, she did any other laundry / ironing.
Cooking was shared and whoever didn’t cook cleaned up after dinner .
Doing their son’s bedtime was shared .
Their house was quite small and she liked to do a clear out / declutter too from time to time

Just get a cleaner.

Many women were exhausted and miserable too. Doesn’t mean we all should be.

A cleaner can cost as little as £40 a fortnight, and will be worth every penny if it reduces the mental and physical load of the family. You’re providing employment, and improving your quality of life.

It depends on your situation. No children but we do have a dog and 2 cats so there is def a mess if not cleaned. We both work remotely though, so our work days are 9 to 5 with breaks so if we weren't able to also keep the house clean we wouldn't get much sympathy. If our work days were 6 to 8, that would be a different story.

Our pet sitter however also has a cleaning company so whenever we go on holiday, every 2 months or so, we also pay for a deep clean.

it is possible, I had 4 dks. Worked nights, nursing, for several years 5 nights. Economy 7, machine went on early in the morning was ready for me, when I got home. Put it out, youngest walked to school with the 2 dogs. also had 1/4 acre of garden, chicken and countless animals. Made sure place was tidy before I went to bed..Up at 2,to collect DD from school. Dgc born the following year, often looked after him and then a friend's 4 kids after school..I grew up in a messy chaotic house,I couldn't stand it. Wouldn't want a cleaner. Ex H had his own cleaning company, tried employing people, everyone was a let down. A place for everything, everything in it's plenty. I didn't have a huge amount of help,no dishwasher,I have one now,kids grown up,look after dgks, and feel I deserve one.

We found it a lot easier to keep the house clean when we were both working with one child in nursery and then school with wraparound care compared to now where there we have one in full time work, one SAHP with a 1 and 6y old!

Before we were up and out within 20-30 minutes of getting up and only home for ~1h before bedtime. Slot in breakfast and dinner and there wasn't a lot of time for the house to get messy so it was easier to keep clean.

Now I have the 6 year old at home from 3.30-4 with toys and games and the 12 month old all day and is in a destructive phase.

It's harder to keep on top of the cleaning because there's so much tidying to do first. We have less structure to our days and I've been unwell for the last 14 months so that's not helped either.

My top tip previously for keeping on top of house work was to prioritise vacuuming. I found I automatically tidied and dusted as I went round each of the rooms and dealt with any half worn clothes on the floor etc.

I have a cleaner and I only work 30 hours - I just cannot be arsed with it!

The way I see it, I am creating work for someone else to earn a living and not having to spend my free time doing endless shit like cleaning - win win!

I do my best and it's just about OK but it would be miles better if I could afford a cleaner. I have OCD and not being able to keep it as clean as actually a bit of a toll on my MH.

Agree.
definitelh recommend the robot vacuum/mop though - makes a big difference to be - helps me feel like I am semi on top of it between cleaner visits without doing anything

You’re right the cleaner typically doesn’t tidy so I focus my time on the tidying and the essential daily cleaning and leave the rest to the cleaner. Of course if I spend a large chunk of my weekend doing the cleaning myself (and it will probably take me longer than a cleaner) that eats in to time for me to play with my kids or I do it when they are in bed and have no time to myself.

Agree the people who say it is very doable either have more time available for cleaning or less cleaning to do

Bring him back and ask him to throw it away and wipe down the spot where it was placed. Do it every time until it is engrained. At least that's what my parents did when I was growing up. Mum didn't run after me to tidy and wash my dishes. She would come and get me every time I left a mess somewhere and ask me to clean up after myself.

For sure!
I presume you and your husband share the workload fairly though.

Sounds great, hopefully when my sons are teenagers I can also have them help. At their current ages they are probably keen to help but whilst they can help with tidying with cleaning they are more a hinderance than help (age 3&5)

Me and my teenage son do it all.
I manage to work full time and have a clean house w/o having a cleaner - like most people I imagine.
Headphones in - get on with it!

Yes, exactly. I also find a messy house really impacts my sanity 😂

YANBU - both DH and I work full-time, 2 DC and we both have hobbies in the week. Our house isn't squalid and things get cleaned regularly (toilets, kitchen) etc but it's untidy, stuff everywhere most of the time and I can't remember the last time we did a deep clean. I should probably be ashamed, but I'm also accepting that we can only do our best with the time we have when we have no cleaner (or £ to pay for one). Our clothes are clean, beds are changed regularly, there's no grime in the bathroom and no one has food poisoning because of poor hygiene, so I cut myself some slack!

I got nothing against cleaners at all, but most clean, they don't tidy, so it's only helpful to a point.

I just don't agree with the choice being having a tidy home OR spending time with your kids. I have more time with my own kids in a tidy home personally.

Of course it’s routine the question is whether you do it all yourself or outsource some to a cleaner.

the vast vast majority of people with a cleaner are still spending some time a week tidying and cleaning - doing the dishwasher, washing up, wiping down surfaces after eating/cooking, putting things away etc. But just doing that alone doesn’t necessarily give a clean enough house that doesn’t lead to lots of dust, sticky floors etc

I really don't know how much time I spend cleaning - not regular day to day stuff that you need to keep on top of.
You mention tidying up - that surely comes under the banner of clean/tidy house.
It's just part of running a home.
1 hour of hoovering, cleaning bathrooms, dusting, changing bed linen - yeah that would be quite a lot during a busy working week, but an hour a day to maintain a clean and tidy home (kitchen clean and tidy, bathroom had a wipe around if needed, clutter away, on top of laundry etc) is just routine isn't it?

I think what it comes down to is routine, standards and time management. I work 8-4:30 (as does my DP) we are home by 5 most days and dinner is on the table for 6. We are in bed at 9:30. I don’t stay up cleaning after the dc are in bed (yes my 10 yr old and 13 yr old are in bedrooms by 9:30! Lights out for 10yr old at 9:30. 13 yr old is 10-10-30) I just clean as I go, no clutter, organised spaces and a place for everything. I don’t spend my evenings cleaning either. I might do one job but we all keep the house ticking over tbh.

See, I just don’t feel like 30 minutes twice a day is a lot. It might feel that way when you’re shattered but ultimately I enjoy a clean home and doing this gives more time and money to do other, much more enjoyable things.