To think it's impossible to work full time and keep a clean/tidy house without a cleaner?

Blame from who?

I am not saying it's rocket science, I work and I have a house that's more show-home than anything. I like it calm.

Things work because I keep on top of them and I don't run around playing catch-up all the time.

I am just saying that it's completely disingenuous to pretend that "admin" is a couple of emails and a whatsapp once every few months. Things add up, and there's always more to add to the list.

Kids clothing…shop online.
great, but it's still something to do. And then trying them on, and getting rid of the old clothes. It's not a 30 seconds job, that's all I am saying.

how often do most people go to the dentist? Twice a year?
yes, during work hours, and that's twice a year per person.
Not all dentists have appointments available for the entire family in the same afternoon, it's already a luxury to have an available dentist 😂

Nothing is just a 5mn job. It takes me a lot more than 5mn to go to my local surgery for my smear test, even if I jog there and back not to waste the day completely

stop what?

How letting things pile up , and missing deadlines and appointments would help anyone?

Exactly.
I have passed everything to do with the in-laws to DH. Then he forgets the nephews and nieces birthdays and I get the blame. FFS!

Yes, my point is though they are not as taxing as people let on. I do all those things and I work full time…and my house is tidy. I’m not superwoman but it’s not THAT crazy. Unless you have extra needs how often do most people go to the dentist? Twice a year? Insurance..once a year. Smear test…every few years…kids activities are just added to the calendar. Kids clothing…shop online. It’s not rocket science

well yes, but it still takes time and someone needs to do it.

It's well and good to say your car only needs 1 MOT a year but you still need to book it and then find a slot to take the car and pick it up. Repeat when you have 2 cars
and the insurance. and organising and booking the holidays (no one is complaining about holidays, just pointing out you still need to make the time to plan them, and getting all the right outfits for the kids because they grow all the time)
and the kids birthdays, and the dentist appointments for everybody, and booking the weekends for the kids competition when they are away, and sorting the kits, and your smear test, and your tax return, and the school emails and events...

Individually, nothing is a big deal or complicated.
It just adds up, and in real life, it's not a 15mn job every week, it's a lot more than that.

It becomes a "mental load" when 2 adults live together, but one has decided not to burden themselves with anything, and expect the partner to deal and plan everything, including things for their in-laws

Then stop for a month?

well yes, but it still takes time and someone needs to do it.

It's well and good to say your car only needs 1 MOT a year but you still need to book it and then find a slot to take the car and pick it up. Repeat when you have 2 cars
and the insurance. and organising and booking the holidays (no one is complaining about holidays, just pointing out you still need to make the time to plan them, and getting all the right outfits for the kids because they grow all the time)
and the kids birthdays, and the dentist appointments for everybody, and booking the weekends for the kids competition when they are away, and sorting the kits, and your smear test, and your tax return, and the school emails and events...

Individually, nothing is a big deal or complicated.
It just adds up, and in real life, it's not a 15mn job every week, it's a lot more than that.

It becomes a "mental load" when 2 adults live together, but one has decided not to burden themselves with anything, and expect the partner to deal and plan everything, including things for their in-laws

My partner leaves for work at 6-6.30, and gets home at 6-6.30, if not later, so during the week it’s all on me - school runs, dinner, homework, sickness/holiday cover, Dr/dentist appointments, laundry, cleaning. I genuinely just think it’s far easier once you’ve got a routine in place, keep on top of it regularly so it never gets too bad a regularly declutter.

well yes, but it still takes time and someone needs to do it.

It's well and good to say your car only needs 1 MOT a year but you still need to book it and then find a slot to take the car and pick it up. Repeat when you have 2 cars
and the insurance. and organising and booking the holidays (no one is complaining about holidays, just pointing out you still need to make the time to plan them, and getting all the right outfits for the kids because they grow all the time)
and the kids birthdays, and the dentist appointments for everybody, and booking the weekends for the kids competition when they are away, and sorting the kits, and your smear test, and your tax return, and the school emails and events...

Individually, nothing is a big deal or complicated.
It just adds up, and in real life, it's not a 15mn job every week, it's a lot more than that.

It becomes a "mental load" when 2 adults live together, but one has decided not to burden themselves with anything, and expect the partner to deal and plan everything, including things for their in-laws

Which is hilarious as most party invites we have had over the last 3 years have been on WhatsApp 🤣

Yeah the “mental load” and “life admin”…it’s just “things we need to do” it’s called life!

Another onerous task is responding to invitations. 😁

Literally did mine the other day…took 15mins.

I know! 😆

Or organising things like car insurance which only happen annually 😂

Plus the 'mental load', which seems to be some paperwork.

It is not possible. Simple as that. Unless you are killing
yourself spending a weekend cleaning.

people have too much clutter anyway.

quite honestly I’m a sahm and I have a cleaner! I want a clean home not just a tidy one. I’ve never understood why it’s such a big issue to have a cleaner. Absolutely everyone I know has one. Sahp/working parent- everyone I know has one and it’s not even an issue.

Plus the 'mental load', which seems to be some paperwork.

Don’t bother lol. I agree it’s absolutely possible as millions of families seem to manage it without any drama but this is MN where cleaning your own home seems to be the equivalent of working another full time job 😂

It is not possible. Simple as that. Unless you are killing
yourself spending a weekend cleaning.

people have too much clutter anyway.

quite honestly I’m a sahm and I have a cleaner! I want a clean home not just a tidy one. I’ve never understood why it’s such a big issue to have a cleaner. Absolutely everyone I know has one. Sahp/working parent- everyone I know has one and it’s not even an issue.

But it is possible…

Another ‘we manage it’. If there’s two adults cleaning a house and helping out with every household task then yes it is manageable and infinitely easier than one woman working full time then doing the whole lot on her own. It’s not even comparable.

It is not possible. Simple as that. Unless you are killing
yourself spending a weekend cleaning.

people have too much clutter anyway.

quite honestly I’m a sahm and I have a cleaner! I want a clean home not just a tidy one. I’ve never understood why it’s such a big issue to have a cleaner. Absolutely everyone I know has one. Sahp/working parent- everyone I know has one and it’s not even an issue.