Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disappointed Dolly Parton supported biological men using women's toilets?

961 replies

Jane3212 · 21/09/2026 00:44

I really liked her music and she seemed like a nice person: her Imagination Library came to my borough recently. I was very sad to hear she'd died.
But was very disappointed to read this. The statements she made about trans people deserving respect, no issue with those.
But minimising the reasonable concerns women have about being forced to let men in their toilets was wrong.
I'm not saying she should have spoken out for GC issues. It might have been best just not to comment.
Parton had connections with drag queens and I wonder if that's the lens she saw transwomen through : not an excuse but might partially explain.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:29

riod · 21/09/2026 09:28

otherwise translates to: I haven’t got an argument, so I’m not even going to attempt a response here.

No, it translates to you're motivated by hate and not worth my time.

riod · 21/09/2026 09:28

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:27

No appetite for a pile on. I'm not your punchbag.

otherwise translates to: I haven’t got an argument, so I’m not even going to attempt a response here.

riod · 21/09/2026 09:27

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:14

No, there's no point in trying to have a debate here. Least of all with an obviously-aggressive poster like you.

I will say that I think a man is a biological male and a woman is a biological female. And gender is obviously a 'thing' but hard to define. I think any nuanced explanation will be beyond you. And I've not said anywhere that men should be allowed to enter women's toilets, so you keep tilting at that windmill.

*peddle, by the way. fml.

Edited

at least you admit that gender is hard to define and “nuanced” whatever the hell that actually means.
(usually means it can’t be explained as it isn’t real)

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:27

2021x · 21/09/2026 09:17

A question.

In my opinion, a male who enters a space that women have fought to keep female-only for their safety and dignity is a red flag for any reason.

Is this something that you would disagree with?

No appetite for a pile on. I'm not your punchbag.

Missey85 · 21/09/2026 09:23

Lexibletheflexible · 21/09/2026 08:30

Lol the idea of suggesting Dolly Parton is ignorant of the perils of poverty is, as the kids' say, wild.

Id say she knows more than any of the posters on here about poverty ☹️ poverty too posters on here is not going on holiday let alone not getting any dinner on a regular basis

2021x · 21/09/2026 09:22

StormGazing · 21/09/2026 09:16

Many trans people you’d hardly know they were AMAB so I can’t see the issue as they’re so feminine. I’d be upset if a bloke presenting as a man, saying they’re trans rocked up in a women’s toilet, for nefarious reasons, but that’s not trans people’s fault - that’s just a weirdo!

Would you agree that if one man can enter that space, it becomes much, much harder to keep others out?

Do you also accept that the trans lobby has specifically campaigned that a transwoman doesn't have to transition fully in order to be able to access the privelege of accessing female spaces?

In addition, do you also agree that transwomen commit violent crimes at the same rate as other men, and that they retain the same strength advantage as other men, so if they did decide to attack a women in a toilet the woman would not be able to defend themselves against an attack?

FiveEightNine · 21/09/2026 09:17

I've noticed her views about that.
From the phrasing it sounds like a "prelimiary opinion", something you have when it isn't a big topic for you and you never had to think deeply about it.

It doesn't presume what her fully formed opinion would be, more that it wasn't a topic she focused on.

She did a lot of good at the topics she focused on.

--

One of my friends started from similar position (kind, no skin of my nose) and ended our discussion with " it's not fair, you were thinking about it! And now I know it is more complicated."

2021x · 21/09/2026 09:17

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:14

No, there's no point in trying to have a debate here. Least of all with an obviously-aggressive poster like you.

I will say that I think a man is a biological male and a woman is a biological female. And gender is obviously a 'thing' but hard to define. I think any nuanced explanation will be beyond you. And I've not said anywhere that men should be allowed to enter women's toilets, so you keep tilting at that windmill.

*peddle, by the way. fml.

Edited

A question.

In my opinion, a male who enters a space that women have fought to keep female-only for their safety and dignity is a red flag for any reason.

Is this something that you would disagree with?

StormGazing · 21/09/2026 09:16

Many trans people you’d hardly know they were AMAB so I can’t see the issue as they’re so feminine. I’d be upset if a bloke presenting as a man, saying they’re trans rocked up in a women’s toilet, for nefarious reasons, but that’s not trans people’s fault - that’s just a weirdo!

BirdLandedonmyHead · 21/09/2026 09:15

Debate is pointless because both sides think they are right.

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:14

riod · 21/09/2026 09:07

explain why males should be allowed to enter females toilets? What’s “complicated” about it? And yes, genuinely fascinated to understand as 99.9999% of the time, transactivists pedal the “No Debate” mantra and point blank refuse to engage on topics such as:

What is a woman?
What is gender?

No, there's no point in trying to have a debate here. Least of all with an obviously-aggressive poster like you.

I will say that I think a man is a biological male and a woman is a biological female. And gender is obviously a 'thing' but hard to define. I think any nuanced explanation will be beyond you. And I've not said anywhere that men should be allowed to enter women's toilets, so you keep tilting at that windmill.

*peddle, by the way. fml.

Bitsostuff · 21/09/2026 09:11

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:04

women's prisons: biological males shouldn't be in them

Sports: biological males shouldn't compete in women's sports

Toilets: it's complicated.

But, let's not kid ourselves, you're really not 'fascinated' to hear anyone's views but your own, are you?

I am. Tell me more about these "complications". Because if you're ok w no trans women in womens prisons and women's sports then you clearly understand that they are not women.

riod · 21/09/2026 09:07

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:04

women's prisons: biological males shouldn't be in them

Sports: biological males shouldn't compete in women's sports

Toilets: it's complicated.

But, let's not kid ourselves, you're really not 'fascinated' to hear anyone's views but your own, are you?

explain why males should be allowed to enter females toilets? What’s “complicated” about it? And yes, genuinely fascinated to understand as 99.9999% of the time, transactivists pedal the “No Debate” mantra and point blank refuse to engage on topics such as:

What is a woman?
What is gender?

Anonfortoday2 · 21/09/2026 09:06

It’s like we’re not allowed to have different opinions. I bet she’s kicking her self knowing how disappointed you are in her even after death

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 09:04

riod · 21/09/2026 09:00

fascinated to hear your opinion on gender and males using females toilets, accessing women’s prisons and sports etc etc etc etc

women's prisons: biological males shouldn't be in them

Sports: biological males shouldn't compete in women's sports

Toilets: it's complicated.

But, let's not kid ourselves, you're really not 'fascinated' to hear anyone's views but your own, are you?

Lomonald · 21/09/2026 09:03

Jane3212 · 21/09/2026 00:52

I get that a lot people loved her music, her charity work: I still do. But does that mean nothing she did can be criticised even mildly?
I'm not saying this negates her music or her philanthropy.

Edited

It absolutely doesn't matter, Dolly said she was inclusive of everyone, and had no outwardly political views, you are free to be "dissapointed" in her though.

Sarah2891 · 21/09/2026 09:01

Dolly was a decent person who did a lot of good, and this is what you focus on? Come on.

RhiWrites · 21/09/2026 09:00

TheOriginalEmu · 21/09/2026 02:01

or maybe she realised that bigotry is shit and she didn’t support it. You are being unreasonable to try and rationalise away her support of trans people to make it fit your own agenda.

This. Dolly was widely recognised as a good person who supported equality, diversity and inclusion.

OP: I agree with Dolly but on this one thing she must be wrong.

It’s cognitive dissonance in action right here.

5128gap · 21/09/2026 09:00

I find that the majority of people hold a variety of stances on different issues. Some of which align with mine, some of which don't.
I weigh up all of these when deciding whether a person is overall worthy of my admiration and respect.
Just as I don't overlook the appalling misogyny and other views I find abhorrent in some individuals who support single sex spaces, neither do I condemn a person who doesn't speak out in support of them if they are admirable in other respects.
Single sex spaces are a very important issue, but amongst many others. I'd take someone with Dolly's views and actions over the more unsavoury element amongst those who 'know what a woman is' all day long.

riod · 21/09/2026 09:00

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 08:58

So there's not other possible considered opinion other than yours?

There's a word for that.

fascinated to hear your opinion on gender and males using females toilets, accessing women’s prisons and sports etc etc etc etc

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 08:58

NarnianQueen · 21/09/2026 08:57

I always assume people who support this just haven’t thought it through, have no idea of all the implications of men being able to identify as women etc. they just imagine a man who looks exactly like a woman using the bathroom and think “aw, why not?”

I know because this is how I used to think!

So there's not other possible considered opinion other than yours?

There's a word for that.

NarnianQueen · 21/09/2026 08:57

I always assume people who support this just haven’t thought it through, have no idea of all the implications of men being able to identify as women etc. they just imagine a man who looks exactly like a woman using the bathroom and think “aw, why not?”

I know because this is how I used to think!

AStonedRose · 21/09/2026 08:50

Screamingabdabz · 21/09/2026 08:47

Women’s protections, rights, privacy and dignity - you don’t think they’re worthy of discussion?

The 'GC' discourse on this site has drifted miles from this. This is plain to anyone without your myopia on the subject.

LuckyHazelFox · 21/09/2026 08:50

Fucking hell. Some people want to suck the life out of everything. She's passed over. Leave her be. She was one of the good ones, unlike rapping wankers who want to preach on stage and bore the rest of us.

Screamingabdabz · 21/09/2026 08:47

Thepeopleversuswork · 21/09/2026 08:37

Is there no subject on earth which is exempt from being reduced to another tedious and myopic discussion about biological men using female toilets?

Women’s protections, rights, privacy and dignity - you don’t think they’re worthy of discussion?

Swipe left for the next trending thread