AIBU to resent funding my husband while he works part-time?

He seems utterly useless. Unless he has some wonderful quality you haven’t mentioned get rid of him.

Honestly your posts are dripping with so much resentment you really should divorce. You’re still young and this won’t get better.

yep. He’s told you - you only have to say I’ve been thinking and you’re right. I should find someone else. I’d like you to leave please, I think this marriage is over.

why do these men think they are so special and amazing that women will just suck it up and carry them through life no matter how rude and awful they are to them??

Cut your losses and divorce him. The longer you leave it, the more assets you will build up that you will have to split with him. Not earning much isn't the problem compared to the lack of support and respect.

No one is “wittering on”. It’s a legitimate concern that OP themselves has already raised (not only on MN but also in the relationship) when they discussed the (dire) implications for mat leave.

It may not be simple, but is relatively straightforward to cut your losses after 2 years of marriage, no DC.

It’s good you’ve realised now and not down the line when more costs have been sunk.

He has said “go and find someone else” he has no intention of pulling his weight and you lack shared common values, a disaster for DC.

Cut free, your anger is justified, your love misplaced.

It sounds to me like you are incompatible. Leave him and set both of you free.

Exactly. See how mammy feels about funding him. I believe it was his daddy before , now his girlfriend, it’s surly her turn. Fancy sitting there telling people they should look after her prince while it costs her zilch . The cheek .

Tell him you don’t have enough money to give him when he asks.
He will soon realise his choices are limited if he wants to do things that he can’t afford.

I think ive read all of your posts. I dont see mention of any redeeming qualities. You (understandably) dont like the guy. He is a leach. He doesnt seem to bring anything to the table..... including.non financial stuff like support for your career. Would you enter into this relationship now, knowing its the future - nope. Are you happy - nope. Will he change - nope. Are you going to lower your bar - nope. Time to call it a day? You are young enough, with no real ties, so do it. Get out before you accru matrimonial assets that he will want half of! Send him to his mums for a trial break then dont have him back. Did you buy your home together? Last thing you want to do is you move out - so paying rent AND the mortgage for him to stay there. Lazy arse can go back to his mum - maybe she can have another go at raising him.

Yes I do thanks. Not that it’s your business.

Do you have kids? If not move out yourself

It’s about the lady who posted. Get off your high horse .

So he’s used to everyone else picking up the bill. You need to have a serious discussion with him about it. Working 20 hours a week while you work more than double, he should be ashamed of himself. But he doesn’t need to work more because he knows he’s got you looking after him. He’s got plenty time for his passion while you’re at work. He’s never going to change, he’d still be scrounging off daddy if they were speaking. Now he sees it’s your turn because you earn more . He’s an entitled man child . If he’s not willing to change and I doubt he will cut yourself loose of this noose around your neck. You work long and hard for your money, it’s not a free for all. And expecting you to use your savings to better his lifestyle what a prince (NOT) get rid

Many posters don't have children. The OP doesn't.

Yes. Why oh why is everyone wittering on about children on a forum called Mumsnet?

That's part of the point. Mr Entitlement doesn't have any to care for (and probably wouldn't if he did.)

Why's everyone wittering on about children? OP hasn't given any indication of wanting any.

Hands up. I'm a full time carer for our now adult sons, neither of them with any prospect of ever living independently. I do the bulk of the housework and cooking and all of the laundry. If I fell ill, DH would be buggered, to put it mildly.

Yes and his mother has said she will earn more so effectively telling him you will look after him / finances as lo g as he needs it
so has no reason chamge or spilt up.

The longer you are with him the more he will take if you split well thats another storey as he will be not only £ but your pension as well.

Thats awful your poor dd.

This man’s own father got fed uo
with him that should tell you something!

My DD was in your exact position. She was a junior doctor and she married her partner... who was 'too anxious to work' but was going to go back to study, follow their passion and make a career out of it. DD loved them so funded the study (which they then quit) and came home from long days and nights to find them lying on the sofa watching box sets and the house a pig stye.

They were together 8 years and married 4. Then 'too anxious to work' managed to find the energy to have an affair. Then during the divorce, having not paid one penny towards their flat, tried to take half the flat, half of DD's pension, and even items of DD's that predated their marriage and had no value.

We had to lend our life savings to ensure DD kept her home. It was a miserable drawn out divorce... but 4 years down the line (and dd is your age) she's single, happy, a GP, and coming home to her calm, clean flat and her cat! She's enjoying being in control of her own life and money (she was always VERY generous to the ex) without worrying about it... and like you comes from an ordinary background where sensible money management was always important.

Get out...now. It won't get better, and you need to concentrate on your career!

Please do NOT even entertain the idea of having a child with this person! Take that RIGHT off the table - don't even mention things like maternity leave to him and make sure your contraception is absolutely cast iron.

What a lazy man. So hard to respect a man like this.

Send him back to his mum and concentrate on our career without a stone around your neck.

I think thats why its calles Mumsnet, clue is in the name. I cant see the bit where it says about him not making tea?

Is it fair to say if generalising, that most female partners on here are also mothers and do the bulk of all the child care, house keeping and admin? The OP's husband won't even make her a cup of tea after a 12hr shift as a doc.

I don't think it's down to the money alone. I think the fact he is sitting on his arse and not supporting the OP in any shape or form?