AIBU to want to go in to my daughters work

This. You know you can’t go in, but you can help her find her voice and be confident speaking up for herself.

It’s probably something as simple as they didn’t realise she hadn’t had a break

tell her on her next shift to ask when her break is as she didn’t get one last time

obviously not great but it was down to her to speak up

don’t make a big drama of it and my first question to her would of been why didn’t you ask

As she is a minor, you could go in with her to support her saying something to her manager. But your daughter should be the one doing most of the talking.

Coach her on raising this herself.

Do they have a group WhatsApp? Has she got the managers phone number?

id suggest she text the manager and explain she worked 7 hours straight and wasn’t sent fir a break on sunday

she maybe automatically docked pay for her break - which she didn’t gave!

where I work in a pub on a Sunday - all the 6 hour shifts and over are docked an hour for unpaid breaks.

I expect it was an oversight, but shouldn’t be happening none the less

but just point out she came home and her parents have let her know that this shouldn’t be happening and a break should be had when working over 5 hours

id refrain from putting in it’s illegal, as they know this - hopefully

As she’s under 18 she’s actually entitled to a longer break.

if anyone is going “in” armed with information, it should be the right information.

https://www.gov.uk/rest-breaks-work/young-workers

I agree. It sounds like as there isn't a rota they send people as and when. Once everyone else had been that is when she should have asked shall I take my break now? (You said she kept waiting thinking it would be her next).
I agree that is hard for a shy teen but as others have suggested practice on her confidence and what she could say. Also if she is friendly at all with the other staff could she mention it to them, and they can help advocate for each other as one of them saying Beth hasn't had her break yet is better than you turning up.

My daughter did a sixty hour week, both nights and day shifts, on her first week as a student paramedic, unpaid and very few breaks. Your daughter will survive 😁

I agree with this. She's going to struggle in life if she gets 'upset' just because she didn't get a break. It's poor management and not ideal for her but it's life and hardly world ending. If it upsets her and she doesn't have the sense/confidence to do something about it, I'd spend your time working on that with your daughter instead of going into her workplace.

17 is nearly 18. It’s still not a hard shift to do! I mean come on

Sounds as if her co workers might have taken her break time for themselves . She has to speak up and stand up for herself in the workplace because no one else will . It’s important that she dosent go in all guns blazing . It’s not what you say but how it’s said. Tell her not to complain or moan to colleagues as they will report back to management and stir . I would leave her to handle this by herself , this is a learning curve and a lesson about boundaries and being assertive.

Please don’t go in. It would be very embarrassing for her. You have to let her sort this out herself.

This is very nicely said. So helpful and kind.

Give her the advice of what to say. Do not go in and speak on her behalf.
It is difficult when we have always gone into "battle" for our kids.
This is part of the growing up process, for us as the parents 🤣

This.

I’m a secondary school teacher and I have a sixth form tutor group - I have had similar conversations with a few students and have talked through what to do and what to say. I think you need to give her the tools to help her to know what to do this time and in the future. It’s difficult, but parents generally need to stop being the one doing the advocating at this stage and start giving their children the tools to advocate for themselves appropriately (actually the earlier you do this the better, but make sure they understand their responsibilities too!)

She needs to ask where management has failed.

She needs to raise it - if she cant say it (how have we brought up a generation of people who dont know how to use their voice) she can write it and email it. But she needs to do it not you!

Please don’t go in, as a parent all we want to do is protect but we need to encourage our children to be able to speak up and be heard.

working in hospitality is hard (I did it for 18 years) because if it’s busy sometimes breaks are forgotten about but she needs to speak up for herself.

my dd worked in hospitality while at university, her manager was a total dick, I’d loved to have gone into her place of work to bring him down a peg or two but I didn’t, but I did encourage dd to speak up to other managers and also the area manager which she did. The more her confidence grew the less the manager was nasty.

I used to work in hospitality and sometimes breaks were forgotten. It was not a biggie.

Not to be competitive at all but I was going straight from one full time job to another (so working 19-20 hours a day). Even then I missed the occasional break because things got busy and there wasn’t time.

She needs to make sure she has her legal breaks if she’s under 18 but she shouldn’t have to be coached in how to speak up and ask when her break is.

Parents never used to speak for their late teen kids - perhaps the art of speaking up is something that people should concentrate on teaching their children.

I had the same situation last year and felt those emotions.

However, this is the great value of a part time job, to instil self confidence and independence.

Great that she has told you and that you can support and encourage her practicing what she should say.

Another issue we had was my daughter was being very obliging taking extra shifts for colleagues that were stuck.
To such an extend that again I said don't be over working yourself.

Then she needed someone to cover her and it was crickets!
She has been saying no to these same people since now easily when she doesn't feel like it.

Its a great learning curve IMO that sets them up.

My daughter now dislikes the general public, especially middle aged people which she thinks are so demanding and grumpy.
She has NOW enormous new respect for anyone dealing with the public.

She thinks most children are so bratty, and their parents are a disgrace the way they leave a mess for her.
This is in a large very well regarded large pub gastro establishment.

I nod away. She's a privately educated, bit spoiled young woman, and this job is doing her the world of good.
I'm so delighted and grateful she has it during university.
She's apparently an excellent waitress, customers really like her, and the tips are incredible.
She averages £20+ an hour pay and tips, great money for a student. She does work very hard though, it is very busy.

Waitressing is a great mind training job for teens IMO.

No you can’t go in. What you can do is meet her next Sunday for lunch - gives her the impetus to ask for her break and you don’t have to say anything

She's nearly an adult woman. She needs to learn to be assertive, not just in a workplace, but in all other walks of life too! What happened to her is a relatively minor issue and is a great learning experience - it didn't really harm her and it gives her a great opportunity to raise an issue with her manager. 99% it's that the manager merely made an innocent mistake rather than anything deliberate. It's a "safe space" for her to bring up a workplace problem where the manager can very quickly/easily deal with it. It will give her confidence to use her voice. Confidence is something that you can build with age and experience but you have to "train yourself" to be confident/assertive. And by "assertive" I don't mean aggressive nor arrogant, I just mean knowing your rights and standing up for them, and that can be in a pleasant manner. Just tell your daughter to chose the right time, i.e. start of the day when the manager isn't run ragged at a busy time with a bar full of customers so he can tell her when her break will be - don't ask at the busy time when s/he will already be stressed with customer demands.

OP never mentioned there been problems in the past so it was just an oversight
I’m not getting why it has to made into such a big deal
If I’d accidentally done this to one of my staff when I was manager I’d would of expected them to speak up

She needs to remind them she needs a break.
The catering industry is notorious for taking the piss with teenagers. Would the pub 'forget' to charge a customer? Of course not.
See if she can sort it herself in the first instance OP- hopefully she can . I feel your pain though!

Welcome to the next stage of parenting.

Parenting doesn’t stop when your children become young adults, but it’s much more behind the scenes support - like talking through how to deal with a situation at work, or a relationship, or finance.

You also have to accept that your daughter will make different decisions to you, eg she might decide not to make a fuss about her break. That’s OK too. The important thing is that she knows you’re there and she can ask you for advice when she wants to.

So how you handle this will set you up for the next few years.

God no do not go in .. he te probably an oversight and she should of spoken up