AIBU to want to go in to my daughters work

When they're younger they do need someone to speak up for them. I've had a few instances where we've run late a work and I've noticed that the younger members haven't have a break and I've had to arrange cover for them to have one (I'm currently a senior professional, but don't manage the non-professional stafF

That doesn't sound much given the high concentration levels of the work. I've never done it but I imagine it's physically draining as well, being sat in one position and having to wield the controls for such a large vehicle without being able to stretch your legs for several hours. Are you allowed toilet breaks as well? I'm old and menopausal but I can't normally last more than about 3 hrs without a service station stop for the loo.

You need a 45 min upon reaching 4.5 hours driving unless you shift to non driving activities. Otherwise it's a 15 before exceeding six hours work, 30 in total before exceeding nine hours, and 45 mins total across the shift for shifts longer than nine hours.

That's not the scary bit though IMO. You can reduce your daily rest three times a week which means you could legally work three consecutive shifts up to 15 hours with only nine hours between them including your commute. I was working in Oxford today and did a 14 hour shift, arriving home seven hours before I needed to be back in work again, having not eaten/showered etc.

It's not always like that though. I'll have several hours waiting time in the day where I can snooze but some people would be flat out all day.

Goodness, I thought lorry drivers had to have much longer breaks!

In fact seems I'm wrong!

I work under the Road Transport WTD which stipulates 15 mins minimum. Bonkers to get less time when driving a 40 ton wagon around urban areas than in the majority of jobs.

It's 15 mins.

They are breaking the law - she is entitled to a minimum 20 minute break once she has worked 6 hours.

Arm her with this information and maybe talk through how she can raise this professionally but assertively, help her with some wording but don't do it on her behalf.

Not the bits about the general public. It’s all true sadly. I think if there were no cameras it would be worse.

My 17yo has a job in a small village pub. The Sunday shift is 7 hours, and they get a break and food.

Today my daughter didn’t get a break or any food but the other members of staff did.

She said she didn’t ask as she kept thinking it would be her next. But also I don’t think she would have anyway

She has come home tired from working for 7 hours non stop, and is upset about it.

I am upset for her and want to go and ask why she didn’t get a break and say it’s not acceptable but I also think she has to sort her own battles out. She works hard there and is meant to do 2 shifts a week but is often asked and willing to do extra.

So the AIBU is

You are being unreasonable. Of course you shouldn’t go in

You are not being unreasonable. You should go in

Any tips on how fellow parents have managed feelings like this as your children are growing up and becoming independent. I feel responsible for not teaching her how to stand up for herself

This is a work of fiction, surely!

Thank you everyone!

I know I can’t really go in, she would not want me to at all…. And i know it would be mortifyingly embarrassing, but it is how I felt immediately when she told me!!

There are no break rotas, the manager is the chef and there were only a few members of staff on so it’s not like there are a lot to manage or anything.

I will work on encouraging her to speak up if it happens again

I had the same situation last year and felt those emotions.

However, this is the great value of a part time job, to instil self confidence and independence.

Great that she has told you and that you can support and encourage her practicing what she should say.

Another issue we had was my daughter was being very obliging taking extra shifts for colleagues that were stuck.
To such an extend that again I said don't be over working yourself.

Then she needed someone to cover her and it was crickets!
She has been saying no to these same people since now easily when she doesn't feel like it.

Its a great learning curve IMO that sets them up.

My daughter now dislikes the general public, especially middle aged people which she thinks are so demanding and grumpy.
She has NOW enormous new respect for anyone dealing with the public.

She thinks most children are so bratty, and their parents are a disgrace the way they leave a mess for her.
This is in a large very well regarded large pub gastro establishment.

I nod away. She's a privately educated, bit spoiled young woman, and this job is doing her the world of good.
I'm so delighted and grateful she has it during university.
She's apparently an excellent waitress, customers really like her, and the tips are incredible.
She averages £20+ an hour pay and tips, great money for a student. She does work very hard though, it is very busy.

Waitressing is a great mind training job for teens IMO.

I had the same situation last year and felt those emotions.

However, this is the great value of a part time job, to instil self confidence and independence.

Great that she has told you and that you can support and encourage her practicing what she should say.

Another issue we had was my daughter was being very obliging taking extra shifts for colleagues that were stuck.
To such an extend that again I said don't be over working yourself.

Then she needed someone to cover her and it was crickets!
She has been saying no to these same people since now easily when she doesn't feel like it.

Its a great learning curve IMO that sets them up.

My daughter now dislikes the general public, especially middle aged people which she thinks are so demanding and grumpy.
She has NOW enormous new respect for anyone dealing with the public.

She thinks most children are so bratty, and their parents are a disgrace the way they leave a mess for her.
This is in a large very well regarded large pub gastro establishment.

I nod away. She's a privately educated, bit spoiled young woman, and this job is doing her the world of good.
I'm so delighted and grateful she has it during university.
She's apparently an excellent waitress, customers really like her, and the tips are incredible.
She averages £20+ an hour pay and tips, great money for a student. She does work very hard though, it is very busy.

Waitressing is a great mind training job for teens IMO.

She needs to ask where management has failed.

She needs to raise it - if she cant say it (how have we brought up a generation of people who dont know how to use their voice) she can write it and email it. But she needs to do it not you!