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Changed jobs a lot, ashamed

22 replies

Herecomethegirls1 · 20/09/2026 20:37

Until 2023 I had a slightly more stable work history, my last job until then lasted 2.8 years, which is still relatively short but a little more substantial.

I'm mid 30s now. I was an Admin Officer in the Civil Service for 15 months, I then went on promotion in another civil service dept to Executive Officer (so not really hopping as such but progression and better pay).
Left after only 2 months as the culture was very toxic and hated the role, asked to go back to my old job but sadly wasn't possible.

I then got a job in a school but they announced shortly after they had to close down! I managed to go back to my civil service job but as agency staff. It wasn't the best idea as I need something permanent, but i was told it usually gets extended.
I enjoyed the role again but they wouldn't guarantee contract extensions and would only give 2 weeks notice and I needed more stability. I managed to get back in the civil service permanently and stayed there for just under 1 year. I left as the role was very micromanaged and again toxic.

Realised civil service frontline-type work isn't for me. I've now started a new job and I'm doing a qualification that will lead me to hopefully senior roles on 40k plus (on low 30s now) I feel good about the role, it's more independent and very good hours.

I don't plan to leave again, I need to stay at least 2 years. I know some of it wasn't my fault as such (the school closing down). But I wish I hadn't jumped ship at other times, i just thought I could get more money and seniority.

It's got to the point where I avoid talking about work with people as I'm embarrassed about all the changes I've had, I know some of it was my problem. I just couldn't figure out what I wanted to do and promotion in the civil service is not easy despite what people believe. I'm mid 30s and didn't want to be on AO wages forever.

Has anyone else been like this? I really do want to stay now, any advice?

OP posts:
Herecomethegirls1 · 20/09/2026 20:40

I know it's a bit different in this day and age, people do change more often to make more money, but most people around me have been in the same company for at least 5-10 years and I do get comments/judgment.

OP posts:
MyDeepAmberDog · 20/09/2026 20:50

Life is too short to worry about what others will potentially think of you.

If others react negatively to some job changes then I'd simply dismiss them as people not worth knowing anyways.

I think it's admirable to seek out better rather than ruin your mental health for the sake of job stability.

Over the past few years I've done some job hopping due to toxic work environments however ultimately the experience in different sectors has served me well in my current role. In the space of 4 years my salary has gone up 15K which I'm pleased with. Hoping to get another increase come the new FY.

Keep doing you and screw what randomers may or may not think.

Herecomethegirls1 · 20/09/2026 21:22

MyDeepAmberDog · 20/09/2026 20:50

Life is too short to worry about what others will potentially think of you.

If others react negatively to some job changes then I'd simply dismiss them as people not worth knowing anyways.

I think it's admirable to seek out better rather than ruin your mental health for the sake of job stability.

Over the past few years I've done some job hopping due to toxic work environments however ultimately the experience in different sectors has served me well in my current role. In the space of 4 years my salary has gone up 15K which I'm pleased with. Hoping to get another increase come the new FY.

Keep doing you and screw what randomers may or may not think.

Edited

Thank you, that means a lot.

OP posts:
Catza · 20/09/2026 21:27

I'm not really sure it needs to be such a big issue. How often are you actually asked about your job history? I can't even remember the last time anyone asked me. Even during a job interview, they were typically just interested in the last role.
Id say, you need to put it behind you and focus on here and now. You can't change the past.

HussleMe · 20/09/2026 21:51

Genuinely, who gives a shit about anyone else’s job history? I can’t even really imagine having that conversation unless I was in a job interview. Nobody cares.

malificent7 · 20/09/2026 22:22

Life is too short to stay in a toxic workplace. I normally last 2 years before i get bored and fed up. Im actually thinking of moving to civil service but you have put me off. Sounds hard.

NotAnotherScarf · 20/09/2026 22:49

Employees don't care...they want people who are flexible and adaptive.

I worked for one company for 20 years in that time I had 6 different roles...plus the last one covered everything from external training, complaints handling, relationships management, pricing the product, regulatory control, to project management

Don't let others put you off. I switched from the office to be a self employed gardener. Now I work part time for a funeral directors and I'm currently on call should anyone pass away overnight

Herecomethegirls1 · 20/09/2026 22:54

You are right , I shouldn't care, it just gets embarrassing when it's in social events and gatherings "So what do you do for work? Oh you've changed jobs again! You're always doing something different!" It just seems like they think I'm unstable or can't hold a job down.

OP posts:
Vickim03 · 21/09/2026 01:03

It’s a running joke for me that I’m still with my current employer. After leaving a job I’d had for over a decade then job hopped, various reasons. No one really cares. I did worry it didn’t look well on my cv but I had good reasons for them all. Life’s too short to be unhappy at work. And it’s not uncommon now to move about so often. If anyone has a problem with it that’s on them. I don’t expect they are judging really, just making conversation.

HorribleHisTories15 · 21/09/2026 01:50

@Herecomethegirls1
I understand what you mean, it’s the longevity in a role or a company; or at least we are told that showing longevity indicates something positive about you and your work ethic. I’m not sure, I find that people who have changed a few times their industries or had to change are probably quite capable of adjusting their skill set to their surroundings. It is a difficult job market at the moment, and it is hard to know how employers see women with a broad CV history, if it is to our advantage or does it make us less employable.

What you may have to look into is your pension with the various private companies, how they are being managed or if they have your current address and contact details. Whatever you do, don’t take the money out of those private work schemes (like I did in my 20s), let them grow and mature.

Friendlygingercat · 21/09/2026 01:57

People are getting made redundant right left and centre at present with companies closing and shedding staff. Thanks Rachel from Accounts. that was a dumb move. So there are lots of people with scrappy job profiles through no fault of their own.

If you are talking with someone they don't know your job history. Just tell them you are a civil servant or working in admin and studying for further qualifications or whatever. Even when I was an academic the only question I was ever asked was "what do you lecture in" and that was that.

Bjorkdidit · 21/09/2026 02:48

Well you could avoid admitting to a lot of moves by just saying you're a civil servant and work in an office. Not that it matters and it sounds like you’re currently doing great. Plus, tedious and counterproductive as it is, moving roles to get on is expected in the civil service.

Or you could avoid talking about work and talk about something else. I hate it when people ask what I do as it takes too long to explain, almost no-one has heard of my job and it is a bit mind blowing to a lot of people, plus I'm not supposed to go into detail.

So I generally just mumble that I'm a civil servant and change the subject and let them think I'm a tax inspector or a spy, which I'm neither of.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 21/09/2026 03:08

Yes, don't give people chapter and verse unless you are in an interview. Just say you're in admin in the civil service and you worked in a school for a bit.

Meadowfinch · 21/09/2026 03:38

It's an odd thing to worry about, and I'm absolutely sure other people have no more than a passing interest.

I've never stayed in a job more than 4 years and 9 months. I worked in the IT industry since the 80s and have managed a perfectly lucrative career for 40 years. IT was a young industry with lots of companies launching, growing and then failing or being taken over. Some industries are just like that.

During that time there have been a few recessions, the global crash, brexit, covid, a few wars. I think I've had 15 jobs but it hasn't stopped me doing all the things I wanted to - buying a home, having a family, building a pension.

Certainly you need to stay longer in a job than a few weeks to increase your skills and your value, but recognising that you are not happy and taking the decision to move is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people stay in jobs they hate for decades because they aren't brave enough to resign.

Maybe just research your target jobs more thoroughly in future. You should be getting better at knowing what will suit you.

Sparklehead · 21/09/2026 06:11

I think this is all about how you’re judging yourself and not about how others are judging you. If we had a conversation about your career, I wouldn’t give the various job changes a second thought and I definitely wouldn’t judge you negatively for it. As pp’s have said, when talking about your career, there is no need to go into any detail about length of time in different jobs. ‘I’ve worked in admin roles in the civil service, and currently retraining to do x’ would be fine.
in my 20s and early 30s, I job hopped a lot, and the longest I stayed anywhere was 2 years. I also took 2 separate years abroad to volunteer/travel. When I look back on that time, I see it in a positive light. Each job taught me new skills and helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. When asked about my career at that time I say ‘I worked for different charities, doing community development’. Broadly true, and no-one (unless close friends or family) is interested in the detail. All of those experiences led to me retraining in my late 30s, and I’ve now been an OT in a hospital for the past 6 years, which I love. Reframe how you think about this period of your life, and all the best for your next chapter.

autumnvelvetwhisper · 21/09/2026 06:16

In this day and age you'll find this quite 'normal'. The longest I've stayed in the same job for is around 7 years. It must be the 7 year itch for me and then I'm up for doing something else. I wouldn't worry about.

IStillHearTheWaves · 21/09/2026 06:24

It doesn't sound terrible to me. At the end of it, you discovered civil service isn't for you - I think that's completely understandable to many people on the private sector!

Overstaying in a job can also look like a problem sometimes.

IStillHearTheWaves · 21/09/2026 06:25

It doesn't sound terrible to me. At the end of it, you discovered civil service isn't for you - I think that's completely understandable to many people on the private sector!

Overstaying in a job can also look like a problem sometimes.

CatMad22 · 21/09/2026 06:41

I completely understand how you feel, I have been made redundant 3 times in 10 years and so I have a few jobs on my CV that are less than a year. It’s not how I would have wanted my career to go, but because it was out of my hands, I just try and see it as part of my career journey. I’ve only been in my current role for 7 months and I’m already trying to leave because of toxic culture, so I get it - I would like to have longevity but as others have said, mental health and happiness at work are the most important thing! It’s great you have found a job you love now, just see this experience as helping you to find what you wanted to do.

HussleMe · 21/09/2026 07:53

Herecomethegirls1 · 20/09/2026 22:54

You are right , I shouldn't care, it just gets embarrassing when it's in social events and gatherings "So what do you do for work? Oh you've changed jobs again! You're always doing something different!" It just seems like they think I'm unstable or can't hold a job down.

Just flip it around and say ‘well I choose not to put up with workplace bullshit’

Catza · 21/09/2026 08:05

Herecomethegirls1 · 20/09/2026 22:54

You are right , I shouldn't care, it just gets embarrassing when it's in social events and gatherings "So what do you do for work? Oh you've changed jobs again! You're always doing something different!" It just seems like they think I'm unstable or can't hold a job down.

Ah, but that's not what is happening. Sorry to be an armchair psychologist (although I do work in a related field) but what is happening here is that you think you are unstable and can't hold down a job and so you are projecting what you think on other people. Because, in reality, we never know what other think so what we think others think about us is always a projection of our own thoughts. Just being aware of that can lead to letting go of those fears.
Accept yourself and your choices and the issue will go away. Peter Crone has a wonderful saying: "Whatever happened, happened. It couldn't have happened any other way because it didn't"

Alwayschillyatnight · 21/09/2026 08:24

"Yes. Im building a diverse CV"

end of conversation.

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