DH response to me being upset

Reading what you’ve written, his response seems ok to me. However you clearly want more sympathy/validation - I’d suggest a female friend or relative or even a therapist may be better for this. Husbands often respond in a rational manner wanting to fix things, they don’t understands some women’s need to cry and go through things and that they just need to listen and empathise. Most men find this quite hard. They are more solution-orientated. Also, dare I say it, I think men can find it quite boring and frustrating if there’s nothing immediately for them to fix.

I think the main thing here is that difficult conversations absolutely require a time and place. You think he was being dismissive but he was going about his Sunday stuff, in from a cycle, maybe then getting some food or putting the bike away or having a shower... or any one of the million things that people do on a Sunday. You'd gone to a deep place within yourself, but he hadn't, he was out doing other things. You weren't in the same emotional space to have a proper conversation about this. He said what he said in the moment to try and pour a bit of salve on things, not to fix or dismiss. If you really want to talk to him about this then you need to ask him if you can both have some undivided time to focus on it. Of course he wanted you to feel ok, he loves you. If you want him to deal with it then you can't just say a sentence and expect him to dive straight into emotional support mode, you have to ask for that support so that he can create the time and space to provide that support and to truly listen to you. If I wanted to talk about something intensely personal to me, I would absolutely ask for some dedicated time to do that, I wouldn't raise it out of nowhere - which is how it feels to the other person who isn't primed to deal with it there and then.

I’m sorry you don’t feel validated by your dh over this. Mine is the same. Try not to get too despondent over it. No real advice. Sorry