Sibling graduation is an exceptional curcumstance

Schools really don’t have the discretion anymore.
I say this as a school governor and someone who accepted the unauthorised absence so my son could attend my PhD graduation.

Watching streams of people you don't know walk across a stage while waiting for the one person you do know is pretty boring even when you're the person graduating imo

Why would you lie, it's totally unnecessary and a bit stupid imo, hey let's go and be inspired by a graduation but also let's lie to our current educational establishment about it.

Not the point of the thread but I wish I hadn't even gone to mine, it was so dull. But I was a mature student and my parents were so thrilled I felt like I had to. I don't know why they're a thing that needs an audience.

But anyway, YANBU to think it should be granted, but with the pressure on schools in reality YABU to expect them to authorise much at all.

I don't understand the drama. Just take your daughter to the graduation. Who gives a shit whether it's authorised or unauthorised? That's just a mark in database you will never have access to. It doesn't matter.

Having been to both my DDs graduations and attended two of my own, all I can say is it’s as boring as anything! Watching a million students walking across a stage for 5 seconds isn’t at all inspiring!
That being said, you don’t need permission to take your DD out of school for a day - that’s not what you’re asking school for. You’re asking for the absence to be authorised. You’ve been told it won’t be. That’s it, it’s hardly the end of the world.

I’m fairly certain my sister didn’t attend mine, I didn’t even attend my own second one. Getting a degree is of course a superb achievement, the actual ceremony is just a formality isn’t it?

It’s not an exceptional circumstance and they are pretty dull affairs. By all means take your dc but exceptional circumstances are things like serious illness or bereavement not twiddling you fingers waiting for a 10 second reading of the name

The school aren't allowed to authorise it.
That's OK. You acknowledge that it's not authorised, and you go anyway because the school failing to authorise it does not actually stop you from making the decision that is best for your family.
They can't make up new rules for you.

I can’t imagine a younger sibling finding a graduation ceremony ‘inspiring’ - they’re really boring. My parents didn’t even go to mine as they thought it was too far to travel. 😆 Our son recently got his master’s and he didn’t even bother with that gradation ceremony.

We were only given 2 tickets for our kids’ graduations, so siblings couldn’t have gone even if they’d wanted to.

What do you mean you applied for absence? You don't need their permission to take your child to a graduation. What does it matter if your child has a day marked as an authorised absence?

Sure inform them before hand to be polite but it's not application and no one needs to lie about anything

The system around attendance and other petty rules in England is completely bonkers.

You know your child is doing well in school. Just take her out for the day to the graduation and let her be marked absent.

It’s really no big deal.

I wouldn't expect a sibling graduation to count as an exception circumstance and I strongly doubt any 13 year old is going to find it inspiring!

I think you're fine to decide to take her anyway, though. It's pretty much the same as any other day out I'd say.

@Oldgalgames Have you asked if the 13 year old wants to attend? I would have hated going to a graduation ceremony at 13- they are dull enough to support as an adult. Why can't she just celebrate in the evening with the family?

It was a few years ago now, but my two dc's attended my graduation ( masters). One of them was at secondary , one at primary and both schools authorised the absence.

We applied to the school for my husband’s master graduation and they said they would give it to the head to consider. If it was granted then good obviously but they said if it wasn’t then he would just be unauthorised absence for the day. There is a lot of pressure on schools not to authorise absences but they did for us on this occasion.

This seems bonkers! My DDs school were happy to authorise her attending her grandma's (long awaited!) graduation from her PhD. The message from the head said "how inspiring for her. Hope she has a lovely day, please do share some photos with us for assembly".

I can understand why you feel that the school is being unfair.
However, they have to follow policy to support optimal attendance.
Like anything, there will always be some who misuse and milk it so the policy applies to all, irrespective of attendance.
There are likely to be other requests from parents for events that they perceive to be exceptional circumstances.
That's why there are policies.
Enjoy the graduation OP.
Fwiw, some close family members missed my graduation due to employment reasons. We celebrated with a meal afterwards.

I wish people would stop blaming the school/headteacher. Most teachers and headteachers would have no problem with this and many other reasons to be off for a day. But there's no leeway any more. Blame the government and its lackey, OFSTED. Everything's set in stone, and heads get grilled on absence as a major point of every inspection.

Absence rate alone can drop a school from Good to Needs Improvement. And if it gets that grade or below, parents will be concerned and start looking for another school.

I agree. But it’s not defined by the school, it’s defined by the government. They’re just working within the very narrow framework they’re given.

A death, a parents marriage. It’s exceptional to you maybe, but it really isn’t exceptional - it’s a non issue anyway for your family. Just remove him or her for the day.

My kids went to private school. Rarely absent. One year we went to the US for Easter to visit family (including my very elderly mother, the next time we went was for her funeral) and as school resumed the Tuesday after Easter Monday to get there (overnight flight, then four hour journey including a ferry) we would have to have left Easter Sunday. School very very reluctant to approve it and I got a lecture about how important the first day of a new term was blah blah blah. Made not a blind bit of difference, but guess they had to stick to school policy!