Sibling graduation is an exceptional curcumstance

Yeah but that's the point really, who died and put ofsted in charge of deciding what exceptional circumstances are. Most people would class one off milestone events as exceptional (by definition). For some reason ofsted think it's just people dying. Mad really.

I put YABU because just take the unauthorised absence - it has no bearing on anything as long as your child is doing well

But it IS boring. My own graduation was boring as fuck. I come from an academic family as well and graduation wasn't really seen as something to celebrate- just something very natural. For a friend of mine it was different- she was the first in her family to attend university so it was (rightly) a big deal and she had worked hard for it. Your DD, like me, just followed a natural path and so will your dd2. No need to attend a boring ceremony.

Yeah this. Honestly, you know what things are like these days, and a day's absence is easy covered (as long as your daughter isn't silly enough to go shouting about it at school!)

I think it’s fantastic your DD wants to be there to celebrate her older sister’s achievement and the school should authorise it. Not that it matters - go anyway and have a great day.
It seems there is no consistency between schools, or even within the same school. We’ve had an application approved for one child and refused for another to attend the same event!

And graduations are what you make of them. Yes the ceremony can be a bit dull for some, but there’s more to the day than that if you want there to be.

OP, I’m sure you’re very proud of your daughter. But 50% of children in the UK graduate, half of the children with older siblings at your younger DC’s school will have one that graduates. Do you think the school should give them all a day off for that?

I agree, We’re in Scotland.
The English system of fines is totally alien to me

I think it's unusual to attend a sibling's graduation. DS1 graduated last year and most people only had parents there.
There were some really young children, I don't know if they were students' children or if they were siblings the parents couldn't get childcare for.
Definitely no teenagers though. It's not really worth missing a day of school for.

It’s not at all exceptional. Even if it were allowed, I wouldn’t be taking a 13-year-old along.

The child is from a super academic family, she doesn't need to go an a graduation ceremony to be inspired to go to university.

It's not the 1970s, about half the population goes to university, in schools nowadays ime it's more unusual not to be funneled to uni

Why is it an exceptional reason? No i don't think it is

It’s not an exceptional circumstance. Imagine if all the kids had a day off for a siblings graduation.
that said if I wanted my dd to be there and she wanted to go I’d have just said she was sick and taken her.

Exactly - I imagine the school would much prefer you just called your child in sick rather than explicitly laying out your intention to do something that they most likely agree is an overall positive, but are not permitted to explicitly endorse (or will generate professional risk for themselves by doing so).

'Not wanting to lie' is being unhelpfully black and white - which is not something you want to model for children either in my opinion.

Soon we shall have to ask for written permission to go for a shit. This is ridiculous. What better educational example than to attend this graduation, to show to your child the way forward, the way to university and beyond. Idiotic school, idiots in charge.

And far better to be honest than lie.

YABU to use the phrase 'academic journey'.

Yes they can and could approve it. My son had exceptional leave approved so he could do a sports event. It's only one day!

I agree OP. A graduation is IMO far more significant than a wedding. I think that it’s important for a younger sibling to see and value the benefits of working hard and continuing education.

Agree with the school tbh. They can’t allow certain things and not others and finding that line, with very limited definition is hard. They don’t have time to think it over in detail. They have a hard line answer because they have to otherwise it gets too complicated. You could have called in sick, who would have known or cared.

Graduation ceremonies really aren’t inspiring, they are as boring as fuck, nor are they necessarily once in a lifetime events by any means, we are a family of six and have had 15 degree ceremonies so far between us.

Was about to say this. Didn’t occur to me to invite my sister to my graduation recently.

That’s exactly why I didn’t bother with my second! What a total waste of a day!

The rules are super strict from what i understand and there’s nothing that unique about a sibling graduating. Of course you should go if everyone wants to (I skipped mine and my brother certainly didn’t attend - I didn’t attend any of his either. My parents both got their masters when I was maybe 10/12 and no one went to any of those either so maybe we just aren’t a family who is into these things!)

I work at a university and families get 2 tickets. I never see children around, it’s usually parents or maybe a grandparent or aunt or something if there aren’t two parents.

But it doesn’t matter if the absence is called whatever, it won’t affect anything. They’ll know your child won’t be in school, it will be unauthorised and everything will be fine.

Have you thought to go through the schools complaints procedure? Your argument here is very articulate and compelling - maybe there needs to be push back on this daft decision?