Sibling graduation is an exceptional curcumstance

It doesn’t really matter what sex the kid is 🤷🏻‍♀️

On average people graduate in their lifetimes approximately as many times as they die. Both are therefore as exceptional as each other.

How do you know she has a son? She hasn't mentioned one!

What if the school asks the child what was wrong with them? Do you expect your child to lie? Pretty awful parenting.

The rules have been tightened recently. What might have been authorised a couple if years ago is unlikely to be authorised now.

And it’s government policy which is being implemented by schools. The school gets very little say.

You think it's exceptional. Someone else might think that an older sibling appearing on stage in the West End or playing elite sport is exceptional. I guess they get quite a lot of random requests like this. I wonder if they are blocking all these requests - seems a bit churlish and joy-zapping to me. Some schools can't see the wood for the trees!

Which son are people talking about?!

Son?

You’re surely not comparing a death in the family to a graduation ceremony OP? I fortunately didn’t actually experience a death in the family until I was in my 20’s, but a much loved family member dying, vs a prize giving ceremony? Surely you can see the difference?

The school pretty much has to decline but they probably agree with you and will wish your son a great day. They did that with my kids when we asked for a couple of days off for my grandmother's 90th birthday celebration (needed a day or so because my family is abroad). They fully supported our decision to take the kids away but they had to decline due to the LAs guidance. It doesn't matter either way. Just have a great day!

Oh my god. Are you honestly this obtuse?

Death is one of the only "occasions" that isn't exceptional as it happens to everyone...

Just play the game. Phone in sick.

lol ok. Tell me, what exactly do you find shitty about the Irish schooling system?

It's rather laughable that you think people that end up living in England (I'm here not by choice BTW), should accept shitty nonsense such as school fines. And I'll tell you what, if I took my children out of school for a week to go back home to a family funeral - I'd be fined. Are you seriously telling me that that is acceptable? Are you telling me that that isn't shitty English school nonsense? Because this nonsense isn't in other parts of the UK such as NI or Scotland.

You may have Irish family, but you're clearly indoctrinated into the English system if you think anyone living here is "audacious" to dare criticise anything about the country, a country that has many flaws at that.

And I'll tell you another thing, your Irish family would roll their eyes to the ceiling if you expressed your displeasure at their criticism of the English system. Have you never read up on Irish history? Have you never immersed yourself in the wonderful Irish culture, full of wit and humour that we have?

There's a reason why us Irish find the English (particularly the southern) uptight 😉

Anyway, not meaning to offend millions of people here, just replying to this specific poster. I have a lovely non-uptight English husband and friends 😁

Its not an exceptional circumstance for her like a family wedding or funeral. My brother didn't attend my graduation, i only went to his cos I had nothing better to do that day. At my graduation few brought siblings with them. Its not a good enough excuse for missing school.

I don’t think it’s an exceptional circumstance, but I would have just called her out sick and not made such a fuss.

In most cases you only get a standard issue of two graduation tickets - so I don't think it's expected for siblings to go along as well as 2 parents. Nice if they can, but not a "life event"

I sit on the stage at these things. It’s not the norm to see children there and I imagine it would be very dull for them. They are lovely for the graduands as they get to be dressed up and see their friends again, and it’s gratifying for the parents of course, but can’t imagine them being particularly inspiring for a 13 year old.

The local council will have designed the criteria about what they consider an exceptional circumstances to be. They do differ by area, so you need to read the school's attendance policy and see what that says as acceptable reasons.

However, in my area this would not be deemed as exceptional. There is not requirement for a sibling to attend, it is a choice you have made.

Out of interest have you even checked that there are enough tickets available for the 3 of you to attend? Most only guarantee 1 or 2 with any additional being done by ballot.

100% go to the ceremony, tour the campus. Let your DD imagine what her attending uni might be like.
But bureaucrats won’t see the value in this.

The issue is you’re trying to present this as an ‘exceptional’ event - it isn’t. 50% of 21y olds are going to be graduating this autumn so it’s very much the norm. It’s clearly an important family event for you, which is why you should keep her off school for the day and celebrate with your family if you want to. But YABU to expect school to consider this as ‘exceptional’ because it’s never going to qualify as such. It’s a nice family day out.

Arguably your daughter will get much less out of this experience than a child who struggles to stay motivated in school. As you say, she’s already achieving and exited for her own university days ahead of her so doesn’t really need the inspiration. If watching 1000
strangers walk across a stage is inspiring 🤷🏻‍♀️

They do have to treat every chld the same though. They can't play favourites. That's why they'd rather you lied, so that they can still come down hard on those playing the system regularly.

If your daughter was treated differently from another child who wasn't as academic and well behaved, that would cause her all sorts of problems socially and with possible bullying. No-one wants to be teacher's pet.