Sibling graduation is an exceptional curcumstance

DS didn’t get handed his certificate at the actual ceremony, just a handshake. He did pick up his certificate on the day

Just to add that I would see graduation as a big deal, but maybe that's because I'm from a working class family* and mostly worked in schools with multiples indicators of deprivation, so being able to go to university is not something that is taken for granted in my experience.

*I'll clarify that by saying that many of the younger members would see themselves as middle class, but are aware of their roots.

They don't hand out certificates nowadays?

When I graduated in '83, the tube contained my certificate. Is everything done electronically now?

Crikey!

I didn’t bother going to any of my own graduation ceremonies, I got my certificates through the post!

I couldn’t justify loosing pay to attend or spending money on gown hire and photos!

Its the qualification that counts, and I think you ABU to think that making your youngest child miss a day of education to sit in a hall for three hours to watch your older child appear on stage for 30 seconds is worthwhile!

They don’t even hand out real certificates… it’s just a tube wrapped with paper!

I agree with the school!

I don't think it's an exceptional circumstance, I don't actually know anyone who has been to their siblings graduation. There are usually only 2 tickets per graduate.

I didn’t attend my siblings graduation. Tney didnt attend mine

its not that big of a deal

One of my nicest memories when I was young was waiting with my grandparents in the quad of an ancient university to greet my graduate sibling and parents after the ceremony (that the overflow guests had been able to watch on a screen outside. )

I loved history and was fascinated and awed by the ‘feel’ of the university and all the grandeur and ceremony and aspired to attend it myself. I certainly was not bored. It was a far more interesting occasion than family weddings and a happy occasion unlike a funeral.

Quite. I just wrote to my children’s school saying child would be off on X day for a family event I added that I knew they would not approve it, but I was satisfied that it was in my child’s best interests to attend and wanted to let them know for their records. That was it.

School work is often dull and relentless - it probably should be if you’re working hard for top grades. A day at a graduation is a red letter day of celebration for that. There can be no better example. An academic family is all very well but seeing the rewards yourself is far better.

Well, you can't die more than once 👻

Crazy. We are in Scotland where things are different but when I graduated with my MSc my kids got the day off and I got a lovely email about the importance of celebrating academic achievement whatever your age.

This is what I do. It's not the schools fault the game government has tied their hands. I usually say something along the lines of "DC will not be in school on X day due to Y reason. I understand this is likely to be an unauthorised absence. Thanks, TaptheCap".

What a ridiculous response. It will be boring for a 13 year old. Graduation is for parents not siblings.

YABU OP I don’t think it’s an exceptional circumstance and I don’t think your DD should miss school for it.

I took my DC out of school when a v close relative was awarded an honorary doctorate and also gave a speech at the cathedral. Now that is an exceptional circumstance and was inspiring.

It's completely normal. Many graduations will only give you two tickets to attend - siblings aren't really expected to attend.

Have you got enough tickets for the graduation?
Usually they're quite limited. Will you be the only family there?

I went to my brother’s. I was a young adult and a teacher! And I got time off unpaid for exceptional circumstances. It was brilliant to celebrate with my family. But back to now and schools, they will turn it down because they are not allowed to give you permission. Our school gently reminds parents about what level of attendance absence would constitute a concern and therefore a fine and the parents crack on with their requests without taking the p. It’s just semantics. Take dd.

There’s strict rules on what is deemed exceptional or not. Even if we think it’s totally reasonable, we often can’t approve it. We often tell our parents that, give them a smile and tell them to enjoy their day!!
So many of these rules are not made by the schools themselves.

There’s definitely a narrative on MN that schools are sweet, harmless bodies anxious to placate an oppressive and corrupt government. That’s not true at all!

Academy chains are not some spineless weak little helpless creature; they’re incredibly powerful (and sometimes quite corrupt themselves) in their own right. They can absolutely authorise this absence. They just don’t want to.

Have you taken on board that this not the school’s fault? That they are very limited in what they can authorise?

Schools absolutely can authorise graduations, funerals and so on. They are just being peevish.

What’s sad about it?

University graduations are bloody boring as hell.

I am genuinely surprised so many people don’t value university graduation in the same way my family does

You can value a university graduation without valuing the ceremony. You make it sound like having a degree is exceptional while to most people from academic families it's standard. Most celebrate it separate from the ceremony which is awfully tedious.

DS’s graduation was limited to 2 tickets and then there were a few surplus tickets offered after everyone who wanted their 2 ticket allocation had applied. But you could only get 1 extra ticket which meant we and his GF could attend. Some graduates had other relatives waiting outside after the ceremony (most ceremonies are also streamed)

Not really. Lots of people saying they value it. The overriding view is that the government defines what counts as “exceptional”. And therefore even if an individual school declines your request for authorised absence, this does not mean they don’t value the experience for your child. Nor does it mean they will stop you taking your child out of school. It simply been they do not have the authority to mark it as “exceptional” and therefore formally authorised.

Rules have changed over the years, with exceptional circumstances getting more restricted all the time