AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

Got it! Hopefully that means it doesn't happen!

Ah, well that does make me feel a little better. He worked so hard, & is also just a natural at the subject.

Oh 69.4. Gutted for you. I think your Masters achievement was motivated by the same beast that made me spend 8 years doing a PhD alongside my day job!!

It sounds as though you might still struggle with your mood and unhelpful thinking styles now. Perhaps some support to look at your thinking patterns might be helpful for you.

I am guessing you must be early 30s if you graduated 10 years ago.

When you get older your undergrad degree grade just becomes so irrelevant. I have multiple post grad quals, including doctorate and post Doctorate. No one cares about my undergrad now. That was such a long time ago and is irrelevant to my job. For more recent qualifications I have taken, or am taking, I just want to pass. No one cares if I get a merit or distinction, they just need me to be able to do my job. I am more concerned with work life balance, and things just need to be good enough.

Good enough is good enough, and if I can do good enough without getting stressed, or missing out on 'life', then actually, that's the most desirable outcome for me

I got a 2:1. It was 40 years ago and three people out of my cohort of over 200 got firsts. At that time most employers wouldn’t touch anyone with a first as they were considered too academic to be of any use. How times have changed.

What I will add is if you get a masters, nobody cares about the 2.1 and if you get a PhD everything prior is irrelevant.

I can guarantee @JuliettaCaeser won’t be able to provide a source for that stat so I wouldn’t get too annoyed

How are you doing professionally now? You know that those people in high-flying jobs rely on only on their firsts but also on connections? You know that, right? I knew about 3 history of art students, all amazing people with firsts, the one who got a proper job with it (Old auction house with offices in Bond Street no names named) was the one who worked there as a porter there in holidays (daddy worked there). One of those three re-trained and got a law degree, could not get a training contract and is now a paralegal. The third one is a teacher, also re-trained. For the really really really cushy jobs you need personal connections, preferably your parents' connections.

Please don’t beat yourself up about this @onedayillmoveon It’s difficult not to, but pointless doing so. You still did exceptionally well compared to most.

I had been a merit certificate student in my first 2 years of uni, did well in my third. By the start of my fourth I wasn’t coping in life at all but just didn’t see it. I just thought I’d had enough of uni, stopped going, and ended up with an ordinary degree instead of a good honours. In reality I had poor mental health and had been battling an eating disorder for years. Back then there was not the openness about these issues. I should have told the uni and deferred my final year, but I didn’t tell them anything about it, such was my shame and immaturity.

I have had many ‘if only’ thoughts since, but what good do they do? I just count my blessings and focus on all the good things instead when my mind wanders down that path! Please put this behind you and focus on getting the most out of your life and career now.

If you have been working for 10 years, your experience matters a lot more than your degree. Move on.

You’re being unreasonable because there’s nothing you can do about it. You did a Masters and got a better grade so why does this matter to you? Much bigger issue going on.

Just to add: I'm having a day where everyone I talk to needs to forgive themselves for stuff that happened years ago and wasn't really anyone's fault. You are another one! I mean this kindly - life is full of disappointments but just keep hammering away at it and success happens. You are only punishing yourself pointlessly so try bloody hard to stop it.

See, this really annoys me. ONE person in my year (1992- I am old) got a first. I was delighted to get a 2:1. DS1 just graduated from an RG this summer with a really high 1st (just tipped for top of his year) in Maths. But if 40% get a 1st his 1st is pretty devalued I think. It's madness.

Nice way to talk yourself into a 2.1 being preferable in some way but this obviously isn’t true. Someone with a first worked their arse off to get it and probably was quite a natural at the subject which helped. It has nothing to do with emotional intelligence. A 2.1 is still respectable, obviously far more than a Desmond and those with a third shouldn’t have attended at all. I’m a lecturer, most students get a 2.1. I got a first.

Listen, I don’t want to be harsh, but this is a bit of a champagne problem isn’t it?

You're employed, you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, hopefully good health and a solid education behind you; there are probably a billion people in the world who would happily trade places with you.

You’re becoming hyper-focused on something that really doesn’t matter, why don’t you use that time to do something productive instead and maybe you’ll feel better about yourself.

Sorry, I was agreeing that it was juvenile

Friends? You live alone or with your parents?

I know exactly what you mean. I got a 2:1 as well, but enjoyed myself while I was there, and know that if I'd put more work in, I COULD have got a first, no question. I did a lazy dissertation and that's what brought my overall grade down.

But at the end of the day, there's nothing you can do about it now. It's not a regret that can be put right with any kind of action or conversation - unless you want to re-do your degree, which will obviously cost you tens of thousands of pounds and would be incredibly impractical at this point in life.

You need to focus on the things you CAN control in life, and not what's already gone and done with.

The more time goes by, the less it should matter. Ten years later it should barely matter at all. Regret the way your career has evolved since then and do something about it, because the recent 10 years should have overshadowed anything that happened prior to that by now. The degree itself is distant history.

I got a first in 1997 from Leeds. Can't recall anyone else in my cohort getting one.

My parents thought it was good but no-one else gave a shite.

Has made zero difference to my life.

That's pretty embarrassing for those people.

Less than 10 years before you went to Uni.

I don't think you're taking into account the entry requirements changing. When I went you needed BBB for my course whereas now I believe it's Astar Astar A so, to be honest, cohorts in the 2020s are better at exams and they are paying £8k a year more than I did so they want their money's worth. Recruiters know all this.

I went to high performing school back in the day that teachers did not hold back in their cutting comments. I only passed two A levels - had I chosen better I would have got three. In my thirties I easily got that elusive third A level.

I got a 2:1 and didn’t think about it. A pass was enough to go into the career I stayed in. I think the only first went to someone who is now a professor.

I did a Masters because it helped me do my job better. I went on to do a PhD at the age of 50. I don’t really know why I felt the need. It was not for money because I could not get promotion. I can only imagine that it was the bitch of an English teacher’s cutting comments and the A level disappointment.

A long story, but I am saying that I understand you still feeling the disappointment. You have already achieved a distinction in your Masters so you know that you are capable academically. You have to look for another challenge. A marathon perhaps?