Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel unsettled by my friend's possible separation?

3 replies

AnonMama87 · 20/09/2026 17:43

My best friend just told me that her and her DH might be separating. They've given it a month to think things through and then will decide. I'm finding it really really hard to know what to say because, and this sounds awful, my relationship is so much worse than hers. And she knows it. That doesn't mean they shouldn't separate and I think it's a really healthy thing to do if they're not happy, which she hasn't been for a while. But I think I'm... Jealous? Or worried about how it affects me? Which is horrible. I am really supportive of her doing what she needs to do, but she's my person I complain to, the only one who knows how bad my relationship actually is, and what happens now? If she splits up with her husband when he's just not making her happy, whereas I stay with mine who makes my life hell,... Well I don't see how I can keep talking to her about mine. She's always said she'll support me whether or not I leave, but I haven't, and it's really complicated and difficult and I don't know if I ever will. And now I feel lost.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Lmnop22 · 20/09/2026 19:01

Leave him and do it together! You have the perfect support partner in her

RecliningMama · 20/09/2026 18:52

@AnonMama87 why can’t you leave your H? What’s making you stay living in hell?

ThatCyanCat · 20/09/2026 17:46

It sounds like you can trust that she'll remain your judgement-free support so that's not the problem. The problem is that it forces you to confront stuff in your life that you're trying to avoid dealing with.

Perhaps she'll indirectly give you the strength to do what's right for you, albeit difficult.