I have a ‘big’ birthday approaching. My mum (who I have a complicated relationship with) and my dh (to a lesser extent) keep asking what I want and what ‘the plans are’. Before anyone starts, I am very grateful that I have people who want to give me anything, I know some don’t. But they just seem to want me to make all arrangements and basically give them instructions on what to get me.
My mum in particular seems to be getting pissy at the fact that I can’t seem to give an instant answer on what I want and has huffed oh fine then I’ll just give you money.
For reference on her 60th I paid for a weekend away for the family and on dh milestone birthday I arranged a fancy meal and put a lot of thought into personal gifts that I knew he’d like. I don’t need or want anything big but it would mean a lot to me if they just used their imagination to come up with something thoughtful without needing direct instructions. They both know me, it’s not like asking them to come up with something for a stranger.
I’m not at all excited for my birthday and to be honest it feels more like another task on the to do list to plan something for myself (and them) to enjoy. Aibu or do I sound like a moany cow? How can I politely explain this to them?