AIBU to miss my sister's Moroccan wedding with an eight-week-old?

This is the important part and you are going to it. The destination wedding is just a party to celebrate their wedding.

i wouldn’t stress yourself about going with an 8 week old baby when you have already been to their actual wedding.

Could you book last min flights and go by yourself for a couple of days?

I've travelled quite a bit in Morocco and I'd decline. There's a lot of risks that will be hard to manage with such a young baby.

I woujdn’t go.

Never in a million years.

We attended a wedding overseas with toddler and new baby. Grand-Parents and family helped out. Easier to go when they’re small babies especially if you’re breast feeding.

If you have a destination wedding you have to accept that some people won't be able to make it.

Decline. I would’ve struggled with a UK wedding at 8 weeks postpartum let alone abroad (I didn’t have an easy birth or recovery).

I don't like flying as an adult because I do no think that it is healthy.

There is no way I would take an 8 week old.

Does she (or her husband-not being heteronormative, but assuming because you say it's in Morocco) live there? If not, they must understand that a lot of people won't be going. I'd not take a young child on a plane unless it was an emergency, and while at 8 weeks you might feel fine, you never know how the birth/feeding etc will go.

Hell no OP. Parts of Morocco are dangerous. Of all the places have visited it’s the only time felt unsafe. I’d not be taking young children to North Africa at all. Over cautious perhaps but better to be safe.

Not to mention all the cost, travel, disruption for the children. Could you not fly over solo for 2-3 days alone? In and out to show face and let your DH care for the children?

Actually scrap that, see now you’re going to the legal ceremony. Make it up to your DS in other ways.

No need to go to Morocco then.
I'd have said no even before you shared this bit of information.
It's just all too much and too soon after the birth for all the reasons others have given.

I think I would invite them for a really nice meal out at some point between the registry office ceremony and the wedding abroad so you can celebrate their marriage with them personally and give them any gifts at that point.

If people want to have a destination wedding they have to understand that not everyone will be able to attend and that it might be especially difficult for people with young children let alone newborns.

So you are attending the marriage ceremony?
It's just the celebration abroad then.

Sorry no but I would not plan this trip in advance.

Unfortunately when couples decide to celebrate a distance away, it comes with the risk of people not being able to, or wanting to attend.

I would not like that pressure to be put on me at all post birth.

I don't think it's the baby that would be hard work, it's the toddler.
I think given it's immediate family, I would go but I would also understand if I was the bride and a guest couldn't come for this reason

Could you go on your own for 24 hours literally fly out for the wedding and return next day? That would depend on whether your DH would have support from his family or not as that would be a deal breaker I think

Honestly I wouldn’t. Apart from the sleep deprivation, jabs, any health appointments the baby will need etc, it’s going to be a very unsettling time for your eldest having a new sibling.

Even though holidays are meant to be fun, they are a really big adjustment for little children with loads of new experiences and being overtired all at once. It might be a step too far for your 3yo while still getting used to sharing their parents with the new baby.

I wouldn't take a baby that small on a flight. Too much recirculated air and germs floating around. Just not worth it.

We went to a wedding in France with an 8 week old. Was a bit mad but it was ok. Probably wouldn’t do it the same way again today knowing the advice about limiting time in car seat - from that perspective flying would be easier.

Hell to the no. You couldn't pay me enough. I would rather pay to not attend

Personally, I wouldn't until fully vaccinated.

Equally, if I were the one getting married, id be fine with you making that decision.

Has your sister said anything?

I think this is very personal to you as a Mum. Some woman just wouldn’t be able to face something like this and others, like me, would go and enjoy being with family who are likely to help. However, this does very much depend on the kind of birth you have. X

I see getting a passport as a major issue here. You can't apply until you have a birth certificate and last time it took me 6 weeks to get that. Trying to then organise a passport for a prebooked holiday would stress me out. Especially as your baby could be late and eat into that time.

To many unknowns you could be 2 weeks late you could have a c section and still be recovering physically plus 3yo still be adjusting to a new sibling. Combine that with rushing for a passport, African heat and it sounds a recipe for disaster. Can you organise a nice meal out to celebrate her marriage when she gets home?