AIBU to miss my sister's Moroccan wedding with an eight-week-old?

You won’t be missing her wedding l that’s in the uk before you give birth. So because of that I’d not go.

my youngest GD went with parents to a wedding in Morocco at just 8 months. She had a temperature but we knew there was plenty of good private healthcare. It was fine.

As for a baby, can you ask medics how long it takes for the vaccines to be effective? I am sure there is a period of time when the immunity is building up. That might be important to consider. That does not take into account that you might still be feeling awful.

I would be warning your sister that you are unlikely to make it.

So you wouldn't actually be going to her wedding. You'd be going to a party, however much they renew their vows or whatever.

To me that makes it a definite no. You're not going to see her get married. She already will be.

If it’s possible, ie baby is actually here and tickets can be bought last min and no health issues for mum or baby, then no I can’t.

I haven’t read the full thread so not sure if anyone else has mentioned this but what if your baby needs extra medical intervention.
With my second child I found out at my 20 week anatomy scan that she only had one kidney. I had repeated scans during the second half of my pregnancy and it was planned that the baby would need a blood test 24-48 hours after birth, then further tests a few weeks later.
I would keep an open mind about going but see how your pregnancy goes. And that’s even before childbirth.

Why? It's not unreasonable to miss any wedding apart from your own 😁

You can't think of any reason why someone wouldn't want to travel to Morocco with an almost new born baby?

How would the logistics work? I assume you wouldn't be able to buy the plane tickets until the baby is born so quite last minute - what about availability/cost? How can you commit now?

is it at a resort and when exactly is it?
I went to Morocco (Marrakesh) on holiday mid july this year. The hotel was immaculate. It was very warm though, 36/37c most days and had 2 days where it was even hotter 44/45c. Babies/young children can’t regulate their temperatures the same, and you certainly wouldn’t want to be wearing a baby in a sling. Yes, the hotels had fab aircon and it was ok dipping in and out the pool, but just walking from your room to the pool you were melting!
Lot’s of people had babies and some very young ones there.
If it was me, I definitely think it would be a last minute choice to go, like you say, it’s a hard one to plan as you just don’t know when baby will arrive and how things are until the time actually comes. I’m sure your sister will understand.

Think you’d be really hard pushed to get a birth certificate and a passport. And if the baby is 2 weeks late they’d only be 6 weeks old.

Personally I wouldn't be taking a baby that young on a flight. Too cooped up with other people's germs and recycled air and a very immature immune system and potentially no jabs. Hard no from me I'm afraid.

I'd miss the wedding for that reason alone.

As you're going to her actual wedding ceremony in the UK, there's no way I'd go to Morocco with a newborn for essentially a post-wedding party.

You won't need the stress of having to rush choosing a name, waiting for a Registry appointment, passport application....then taking a newborn on a flight - no, I wouldn't, I always get ill anytime I'm on a plane. You should spend your first couple of months post-partum, resting, relaxing, recovering, establishing breastfeeding, bonding with baby. Don't put all that added stress and deadlines on your head, it'll take a lot of your enjoyment and relaxation away from this special time.

When you choose a destination 'wedding', you have to accept that not everyone will be able to attend. I also think it's cheeky to expect people to pay thousands to fly abroad for an after party, really fucking cheeky.

This

I personally would plan to go but have everything booked with a cancellation policy. With my first there was no way I could have gone, I was so ill. With my second I was fine 2 days later!! My friend gave birth 6 days ago, she was fine she’s been out and about every day this week (first baby) my other friend was rushed into emergency c-section 4 months ago and is still struggling. Babies and birth are in predictable, you might be fine to go you might not bit I personally wouldn’t just dismiss the whole thing,. As I say plan to go but make her aware you might not get there

@Alpsk1 What do YOU want? Then do that. You can absolutely go with a 2 month old baby. Many do. I wouldn't because I don't like weddings in general and I would use the baby as a pretext to not attend.

I would offer to host or help plan something really special for them like an engagement party or a uk reception after their civil ceremony on the understanding that you’re unlikely to make the Morocco wedding, but potentially still go last minute if you can. Perhaps you book free cancellation hotel near the venue? You might be up for it and you might feel sad to miss out

Okay, so this is more of a party to celebrate their marriage than the actual wedding. I would definitely give it a miss - they will understand. Actually, in your shoes I might give it a miss even if it was the wedding, but this isn't the case.

^ This, although I also don't think it's realistic to say you are definitely going til a couple of weeks after the birth.

It's all changed now. When my DD was born, I went to the registrar's office the next day and registered her birth. That was 24 years ago. DS had a boy earlier this year, they had to wait 6 weeks for a registrar appointment!

So what do you propose as a solution then? Such a helpful comment 🙄

Example... Baby could arrive up to 2 weeks late, it could then take 6 weeks to get an appointment to register the birth by which time it's impossible to get a passport. Come on, how could OP possibly solve that situation in order to attend?

Babies are very portable at that age, and not too much paraphernalia if they’re BF. I did a fair bit of (necessary) long haul travel with small babies.
If it were me, I’d go.

A slight tangent, but i had no idea that registering a baby takes so long now! When I had my first, the registrar used to visit the maternity ward and register the babies in situ! Those were the days when you'd be in hospital for three days after a normal birth though!

I would go. Went to Turkey with a 4 week old last year and exclusively breast fed. Baby was absolutely fine in fact he was a dream! My 2 yo was harder work 🤣 only reservation for me would be the itinerary - if at a hotel most of the time and wedding celebrations only one day I’d do it no brainer and I had a c section. I only went as it was a pre arranged 60th celebration for my dad so absolutely wouldn’t have entertained it if it wasn’t for that but was fine regardless. Wouldn’t necessarily do it again but given the special celebration I’d do it x

I attended my sibling's wedding in the Middle East with a 6 week old. It was far from ideal timing, but with regards to the baby's health and wellbeing it was perfectly fine. We registered our baby straight away and applied for a passport by the time he was 4 days old. We spoke to the HV about the vaccines and just followed their advice (can't remember what it was though, it was quite a while ago!).

But honestly, I have zero memories from the wedding. I remember breastfeeding quite literally the whole day, but I couldn't tell you anything about the ceremony or reception. I couldn't tell you who else was at wedding or what food there was. It's all a complete blur. So I guess in an ideal world you'd be able to wait and see how you feel?!