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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to miss my sister's Moroccan wedding with an eight-week-old?

242 replies

Alpsk1 · 20/09/2026 17:15

My Sister is getting married next year abroad in Morocco. I am due to give birth to my 2nd child about 8 weeks before. Our other child is 3yo.

Do you think it would be completely mad of us to go to the wedding with an 8 week old baby who’s only just had their first set of vaccinations?

Then there’s the whole fact we probably will be generally very sleep deprived too.

DH thinks we should just miss it and avoid the stress. I do obviously want to go but maybe it would be too much?

YABU - go to the wedding (with newborn, 3yo and DH)

YANBU - you should stay at home and miss the wedding.

OP posts:
ThatLoudCat · 21/09/2026 12:08

usererror99 · 21/09/2026 06:07

if the wedding was planned first you could have skipped a month or two of TTC to avoid this very situation. Whilst I find destination weddings somewhat vulgar and selfish I also tend to find close family members who actively TTC whilst knowing they have a date in the diary a bit selfish too

Bonkers

Therescathairinmybath · 21/09/2026 10:14

usererror99 · 21/09/2026 06:07

if the wedding was planned first you could have skipped a month or two of TTC to avoid this very situation. Whilst I find destination weddings somewhat vulgar and selfish I also tend to find close family members who actively TTC whilst knowing they have a date in the diary a bit selfish too

Absolutely wrong! TTC a child shouldn’t be put on hold for a wedding party. OP is going to the legal ceremony which is the most important bit.

HisNibs · 21/09/2026 09:27

Alpsk1 · 21/09/2026 07:14

When we conceived they were already engaged but hadn’t set a date for the wedding so we didn’t know when it was going to be, and at that point it wasn’t even necessarily a destination wedding.

Show quote history

OP, are you actually being put under any pressure to attend? If not, I just wouldn't worry about going. It's not the actual wedding, it's just an after-party.

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/09/2026 09:03

Alpsk1 · 20/09/2026 18:30

Yes we are attending their legal marriage at the registry office which is before the baby is born.

Show quote history

So a lot of money and flaff and will actually all ready be marrie

what’s the point

I has a destination wedding. Antigua. But actually got married there

seems a bit fake having a huge do but it’s not actually legal

jeaux90 · 21/09/2026 07:58

Don’t do it OP it will be way too stressful with a new born.

cestlavielife · 21/09/2026 07:49

Tell her you can see how it goes and leave to book after the birth. If that causes problems for numbers and bookings then just decline...or only book cancellable /changeable options for flights and accomodation

thepariscrimefiles · 21/09/2026 07:46

usererror99 · 21/09/2026 06:07

if the wedding was planned first you could have skipped a month or two of TTC to avoid this very situation. Whilst I find destination weddings somewhat vulgar and selfish I also tend to find close family members who actively TTC whilst knowing they have a date in the diary a bit selfish too

WTAF! What a ridiculous thing to say!

susiedaisy1912 · 21/09/2026 07:35

Nope I would not go. You don’t have to explain why, it’s your sisters choice to marry abroad, you are at a completely different point in your life. What if your due date goes over and you have a c section? What if your children are not well? Too many possible hiccups to be able to commit to her wedding in my view.

TwoBagsOfCompost · 21/09/2026 07:23

usererror99 · 21/09/2026 06:07

if the wedding was planned first you could have skipped a month or two of TTC to avoid this very situation. Whilst I find destination weddings somewhat vulgar and selfish I also tend to find close family members who actively TTC whilst knowing they have a date in the diary a bit selfish too

Congratulations on writing the most unhinged thing I’ve ever read on MN.

Walkerzoo · 21/09/2026 07:17

At 8 weeks I had started going to mums groups. I wouldn't have considered abroad, temperatures, bugs

And I was still in agony with lots of things

Unfortunately it would be a no.

TheEdgyMoose · 21/09/2026 07:16

Haven't rtft so I'm not sure if this has been mentioned but, if you need a c section you won't be able to fly for 6-8 weeks.

Also, vaccines take around 2 weeks to take effect so an 8 week old who has only just received them will not be protected. Baby will have some passive immunity from your breast milk though.

Original poster
Alpsk1 · 21/09/2026 07:14

usererror99 · 21/09/2026 06:07

if the wedding was planned first you could have skipped a month or two of TTC to avoid this very situation. Whilst I find destination weddings somewhat vulgar and selfish I also tend to find close family members who actively TTC whilst knowing they have a date in the diary a bit selfish too

When we conceived they were already engaged but hadn’t set a date for the wedding so we didn’t know when it was going to be, and at that point it wasn’t even necessarily a destination wedding.

OP posts:
Horses7 · 21/09/2026 07:10

I wouldn’t risk it particularly with a new born and 3 year old but then I would avoid Morocco anyway. I had a really bad case of food poisoning after being extremely careful and only eating in our 5* hotel, no ice and only bottled water etc. My doctor’s face after I said I just been to Morocco said it all and she wrote Morocco in big letters across the testing paperwork. Perhaps I’m ultra cautious but I was really ill for ages.

Mumofyellows · 21/09/2026 06:52

I travelled alone with my baby when she was that agar to visit my family abroad and the airline were very helpful, it was absolutely fine, if you want to go then you should!

IronEverything · 21/09/2026 06:27

usererror99 · 21/09/2026 06:07

if the wedding was planned first you could have skipped a month or two of TTC to avoid this very situation. Whilst I find destination weddings somewhat vulgar and selfish I also tend to find close family members who actively TTC whilst knowing they have a date in the diary a bit selfish too

Are you insane? You think someone should put off their child for a bloody fake Moroccan wedding? Absolutely ridiculous.

And the fact you're calling it selfish is just something else. Are you actually serious or was that a poorly written joke?

Highlighta · 21/09/2026 06:24

I think posters are missing the crucial drip feed that OP will be attending the ceremony locally anyway,, prior to the 'destination wedding'

Highlighta · 21/09/2026 06:17

usererror99 · 21/09/2026 06:07

if the wedding was planned first you could have skipped a month or two of TTC to avoid this very situation. Whilst I find destination weddings somewhat vulgar and selfish I also tend to find close family members who actively TTC whilst knowing they have a date in the diary a bit selfish too

You have to be joking right?
😂

Peonies12 · 21/09/2026 06:11

No you can’t commit. Also if the wedding is 8 weeks after your due date, baby could onky be 6 weeks therefore no jabs yet. I couldn’t sit down comfortably for a month after birth! It depends jf you think your sister would handle it better if you just say no now, or book things but with a caveat you will have to see (and depends if you can afford to lose the money). But only you know if she’ll be more disappointed if you change your mind last minute.

usererror99 · 21/09/2026 06:07

if the wedding was planned first you could have skipped a month or two of TTC to avoid this very situation. Whilst I find destination weddings somewhat vulgar and selfish I also tend to find close family members who actively TTC whilst knowing they have a date in the diary a bit selfish too

PussInBin20 · 21/09/2026 05:48

Put your baby’s health above a party! I wouldn’t even risk my own going there.

Releasemeplease · 21/09/2026 05:27

Alpsk1 · 20/09/2026 18:30

Yes we are attending their legal marriage at the registry office which is before the baby is born.

Show quote history

So you are attending her wedding.
So why on earth are you even contemplating going to a party in Morocco with a new born baby and a toddler ?

Papster · 21/09/2026 00:33

Alpsk1 · 20/09/2026 17:15

My Sister is getting married next year abroad in Morocco. I am due to give birth to my 2nd child about 8 weeks before. Our other child is 3yo.

Do you think it would be completely mad of us to go to the wedding with an 8 week old baby who’s only just had their first set of vaccinations?

Then there’s the whole fact we probably will be generally very sleep deprived too.

DH thinks we should just miss it and avoid the stress. I do obviously want to go but maybe it would be too much?

YABU - go to the wedding (with newborn, 3yo and DH)

YANBU - you should stay at home and miss the wedding.

Ive been to Morocco twice and had horrific food poisoning both times
Have someone lined up to look after the kid if you start evacuating at both ends for a couple of days

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/09/2026 00:19

Carrotsandgrapes · 20/09/2026 17:48

It sounds like you would like to be there, but (understandably!) you cant know for sure until baby is here.

Would your sister be OK if you had to pull out a few weeks before the wedding? If so, I would book a refundable hotel and refundable flights, and hedge your bets.

This

AnnaQuayRules · 20/09/2026 21:47

minniewin · 20/09/2026 20:06

it’s unreasonable to miss your sisters wedding

She's not missing her sisters wedding, which is at a registry office in the UK a few weeks before her baby is due.

Tonmouth · 20/09/2026 21:43

I love Morocco and have been many times. It’s wonderful but absolutely fucking filthy. Bacterial skin and stomach infections are rife as are parasites. Getting away without the shits there is almost unheard of. I’m adventurous but bloody hell, no way I would take a newborn to Morocco!!

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