There can never be 50/50 between a man and woman as we give birth and they can never compensate for that ever

What about the large percentage of households where the women are the main breadwinner, despite having given birth multiple times? This applies in our household, I didn’t need compensating financially, I needed an equal partner so that I could continue to work full time and rise in my career without the domestic stuff overloading me and holding me back.
His reward for being amazing is the large pile of pension savings I’ve accumulated for both of us…

You should see a doctor if you really urinate so frequently. That's not normal and must be pretty disruptive to your day to day life.

I'm sure having saggy boobs and an overhanging belly are not great for your self confidence, but that's not the reality for many women.

I don't think anyone is denying, or ignoring, the risks of pregnancy and birth by saying their husbands/partners contribute equally.

I do think women should think very very carefully about who they have children with.

I’ve always considered DH an equal parent to me. It’s took both of us to have and raise them. We both worked full time and both contributed financially and practically.

What are you talking about - custody of children? It doesn’t really matter who gave birth, ideally a child needs both parents.They get different things from
each one.

Oh! is there some sort of prize?

Did I miss something?

I thought pregnancy was something that happened to me, I didn't realise I had a choice in how I grew the little shits. Could I have kept them in a box, or grew them in a tank like a sea monkey?

"Could".

But depending on a man's goodwill puts all the risk on the woman. And the reality is the economics trapped (and far too often still traps).too many women into staying with utter bastards and being humiliated or worse because they didn't have enough financial security to get out.

I guess this is why traditional marriages could work well. With a good husband, everything was shared. So many couples now keep their finances separate and the woman is kept almost barefoot and pregnant with no money to spend on herself. Lots of threads on MN about this set up.

ETA missed the word "now"

and I think acting like it is something men do to women so men should be grateful forever minimises it.

I made the choice to have children which included accepting any potential risks. DH doesn't owe me a thing.

Not sure when you think the OP's 'Mother's era' was (I realise she said 'the 80s' after your post) but I know / knew many fine women who would be in their 90s or 100s now, who expected a heck of a lot more.

OK still confused especially about the sperm bank. So you become a single mother with that sperm and this makes you better than the father who you have decided will not be part of the childhood. You have 100% of costs and responsibility - who are you better than?

And in the UK when 18 years old a child conceived through donated sperm will have the right to know the details of their biological father.

True but even where it is a joint decision, the risk should be acknowledged. Having children will never present men with the same risks as it does women. It’s just a fact. Most couples agree to have kids, DH and I had long hard chats about it. His body has been entirely unaffected (apart from some mild back pain from lugging DC around). I on the other hand pee every five minutes, have saggy boobs (which would have happened anyway with time I guess) a scar and a belly overhang. I’ve have obviously physically contributed more.

You can make the argument that men contribute in other ways etc but Op’s point is that the physical impact of having children shouldn’t be ignored. I think she’s right, when we minimise it it benefits men not women.

Aside from that theres nothing stopping men from being fully equal parents ofcourse.

Her mother's era was the 80s. I had my children then and my DH did his fair share of parenting and housework.

I think she means entitlement.

Do they drill for sperms like they do oil? So no need for mans sperms? 😆

Yes, and would women who had an easy birth (some do!) somehow be less worthy?
And should men who have painful disabilities, but who nonetheless push through to support their wife and child be honoured more?
Many of us go through far worse things than childbirth. Having miscarriages and stillbirths was just as hard for my husband-a million times harder for both of us than childbirth.
And the people (men or women) who abandon their kids and continue to put themselves first after birth are the problem. Whoever looks after the child well (male or female) is what matters. Yes, egg/sperm make the baby, but the people who look after them all their lives matter most.

All ok? Get out of the wrong side of bed this morning? Or from what I’m assuming from your post: you didn’t get a big enough Gold Star on your back side for giving birth?!

Get married before having kids then, if you want to be compensated for having less assets due to having kids.
Women don't have to have kids if they don't want them, it's a choice.
50/50 is fine, in terms of childcare etc. If all men did that the gender pay gap would be much less.

Yes to periods and menopause. No to pregnancy (for women in the UK at least) as in 2026 this is a choice rather than something unavoidable.

Exactly.

A lot of these complaints are like me saying that choosing a career in the arts has put me at a financial disadvantage compared to going into finance like my mother wanted. No shit. I chose it knowing all that because the benefits of having a job I enjoy outweighed the financial aspects.

Or like me complaining that I'm hungover and tired because I went out all night. Yes and I still chose to go out because the enjoyment was worth it.

How would you calculate the amount of financial compensation needed to equal the direct and indirect costs of having a child?

It's also a choice though. A choice that the majority of women make willingly because they want a child. Not a favour they are doing for men.

It’s not impossible. I was sole breadwinner after having kids as are many single mums. I got zero from the father. It wasn’t 50/50 it was 100/0 with me being the 100.

Why would I need to be compensated by a man or men for having periods, being able to have children, periods or menopause? I like being a woman. I don’t like how society makes us second class. I don’t like how the power to bring more humans into the world is not being revered but being framed as something done to me for which I need compensation? We are not flawed versions of men.

I really don't understand what you are getting at. I am sure you are very aware a child's genes come 50 :50 from the mother and father.

And yes there are men that act like children are cost free because there are no costs bourne by them and they have such a low opinion of women that you may as well be a farm animal who splits the bills with him. Theres a lot of dross outh there but there are also some decent men too. But yes on average I think men are worse human being than women.