There can never be 50/50 between a man and woman as we give birth and they can never compensate for that ever

Well, as an adoptive mother I think i have done considerably more than DD's birth mother, who sadly drank during pregnancy and then abandoned DD on and off until DD was finally removed permanently.

Whereas I have been there day in, day out, prioritising DD's needs for over a decade.

So no, I don't think pregnancy and giving birth always wins a top trumps in parenting.

And if he shows signs he’s likely to be shit then make sure you have a tonne of support around you.

Yes. My point is like with many other things,
we have stopped using the societial patterns in under which we evolved to operate. We did it the other way for about 99% of human history. Now, if you’re going to adopt a familial structure with only one other adult, you’d better make sure that the single other person you have to depend on isn’t a shit one.

@Ally886 ha I know right. A lot of men don't even want kids and now OP thinks it's a good idea to make it even more unappealing? I thought we were trying to get the birth rate up! They will most likely just call the woman's bluff if she tried all that and say "lets just not have kids then"-who would lose out then?

Your inability to use the reply function is very frustrating.

I'm struggling to see what your point is. Society should not have to pick up the slack for inadequate men, so I think we're in agreement.

😀😀😀 me too! It must have an element of fancy dress to it. And a wand. Definitely a wand.

We have changed how we behave as a society, for most of human history it was like this. So women do need to pay more attention to who they are saddling themselves with now because the rest of the tribe aren’t there any more to take up the slack.

I'm not sure changing how we behave as a society is the answer.

Wouldn't it be easier for women to take a closer look at the men they are thinking about having children with before getting pregnant? And simply not having children with him if he seems like a loser.

I wouldn’t mind if they essentially fucked off and raised themselves from aged 10 and there would several other adults around with equal responsibility.

I think some women probably need to think more carefully before having kids in non-committed partnerships. I grew up around a lot of single parent families (including my own) but none of those involved stable structures before the kids arrived.

I don’t want to raise other people’s children.

For a blink of an eye in terms of how long we’ve been here. It wouldn’t work for me but then I’m not stuck with one of the pathetic man children described by some in this thread.

Lots of things happened for years that we moved on from.

Absolutely 🦇💩.

You act as if women bear children as a favour to men instead of because they want them.

And if a woman is the much higher earner and not the primary carer?

And if a woman uses a sperm donor? Who compensates her then?

So what happens if the woman doesn’t give birth?

Also this is a stupid post. Everybody can have their preferences. If you don’t align with theirs just move on. Getting the hump over a man’s preferred relationship model is daft.

And then we moved on.

Worked for about 300,000 years apparently

Sounds hideous.

Why don’t we go back to the child rearing structure that was in place for most of human history? Then no worries about individuals compensating the other. Extended family groups of around 20 people, obviously specific individuals as actual parents but the group overall raising the children and looking after the elderly. More independence of teenagers and learning from peers. And obviously everyone will get along famously…

I would say thia thinking is deluded

God these types of thread are repetitive and tedious.

We get it. Men are the scum of the earth, they serve no valuable purpose whatsoever, and women are superior in every way, and if women we in charge we’d be living in some kind of amazing utopia.

I am also the higher earner in our household, but fully appreciate most mothers are probably not in that position.

I think the idea that men should compensate women for giving birth is nonsensical. Men should support their partners and take an equal role in parenting their children. If, as a couple, they decide that the mother will stay at home or reduce her hours then he should pay a greater proportion of bills.

I think women should think long and hard about who to have children with. That would solve a lot of problems.

So are you seeking to neg men and criticise them for not being biologically able to do what only women can possibly do? Do you routinely do this to men you know/meet in real life: basically blame and berate them and tell them they are not much use for having been born male? Do you have any sons?

What about the homes where this doesn’t happen? Are we actually at a point where if it doesn’t affect us we don’t care?

I do wonder, if more people actually married before having children whether men would waltz off so easily. (I work in a school where a high percentage of women are single and there are multiple children being born and “step children” being introduced)