My bf had been on the piss since football yesterday and I didnt hear from him all night

I dont think its about giving this waste of space a "carte blanche". Its about highlighting that having multiple kids with someone you are not married to, when you have no means to support them yourself, is very, very silly. And even in marriage this has to be a conscious decision, not a whim.

And yes - he is shit. He cant go out like a single person when he has three kids. Yes, he could have a break - but only if he is working hard to support you all. But even then being on the piss for almost 24 hours is not acceptable.

But there is literally nothing you can do, is there - apart from leaving.

This is OP's life and you shouldn't be sitting in judgement of her .

It may have escaped your attention that he is the father of three young children so telling him he is doing the right thing going out and drinking all day, enjoying himself, and spending the night with someone else is pretty disgusting. He chose to father the children so he should be acting responsibly.
You are actually giving him carte blanche to treat OP and his children disgracefully.

And, please tell me, why did you have three kids with this prince who would not even marry you?...

All I'm saying is that you are worth so much more than being trapped as a stay at home unpaid housemaid for a little scrote who is a heavy drinker, disrespects you and smoked weed when your baby was born. I'm guessing that you do the lion's share of the childcare and household chores as well. I would say that you wouldn't be entitled to his assets as you're unmarried, but he probably doesn't have many assets at all. Is this a life you would choose for your daughter? Start a business, go to university, do something for yourself so you are not indebted to this weasel.

I don’t think people are thinking you are useless, but they are thinking that you have put yourself in quite a precarious position. Three young kids, unmarried (hence no security), no work experience, no income and an irresponsible “partner”. It’s easy to see why you are getting the advice PP is giving…I would listen if I were you.

This is what happens when you choose to have children when you are barely an adult with a man who is also barely an adult. Not 1 but 3, wow. TBH he’s just out enjoying being in his 20s like he should be doing.

You are in quite a precarious position being a sahm and unmarried, OP. I don't know how financially aware you are but I have encountered a few women like yourself who has ended up with nothing and then finding out late that they haven't made enough national insurance contributions to receive the full state pension down the line and are still working in their 70s. Please just be aware of your situation and put things in place to protect yourself long-term.

You’re under reacting. This is appalling. He’s acting like he doesn’t care what you think, or respect you or the kids. I sincerely hope that’s not the case but if it is I don’t think you can do much about it.

Me and DP have one DD(2). He does all the cooking. I work longer hours. We take it in turns to put her to bed and get up with her in the night. At the weekend we prioritise family time. We support each other and try to make sure we’re both getting some down time. If one of us goes to see friends at the weekend alone, we keep in touch, agree when we’re coming back, and certainly don’t check out all weekend or go awol.

But that’s because we have a relationship built on trust and care. You deserve that too.

I’m so sorry OP, he just sounds awful. But I think this is fairly common behaviour among some types of men.

The first 7 words told me everything I need to know. No parent should go out all night without anyone knowing where they are, when they have kids at home. It's absolutely pathetic.

You are early 20's with 3 kids and your DS was a baby years ago? So I'm assuming no education as well as no career. Please find a way to build a career and identity of your own, go back to college and leave this utter loser. Men in their early 20's are practically children themselves, he was never going to be a responsible positive role model for 3 children.

Well if he was still pissed at midday today having gone out yesterday, he’s not just drinking, surely? He must be on the gear. I’d also be interested to know where he was all night?

Either way, no, you’re not being unreasonable.

Id be single

I usually roll my eyes a bit at these types of threads because a lot of people seem to think that as soon as you become a parent, you’re no longer allowed the odd night out. But this is absolutely taking the piss. He’s being a total wanker and, unless there are some serious apologies and a change in behaviour, I’d genuinely be questioning the relationship.
I think it’s time you organised a girls’ night for next weekend and got some reciprocity going!

He’s basically living his single-man best life
what a dick

That’s nice for him. The wife doing the drudge work without the marriage. I wouldn’t entertain that shit.

⬆️ this and lm a qualified nurse

I’d be fuming. Make arrangements to meets some friends or family next weekend. Not saying disappear all weekend, but maybe for an afternoon and evening. Tell him, don’t ask. He’ll absolutely not be able to get pissed off about it, because he’s done it himself.

He can do this because he knows you are backed into a corner. Three children and no wedding ring.
You have 2 choices here. Put up with the shitty disrespectful behaviour ( because he won't change, will only get worse) and give your children a crap home life with a father that doesn't have an ounce of respect for their mother or cut your losses now and forge a new life whilst you are young but be aware he won't see the children that often.

Do you suspect any drug taking at all? I know some men who attend the football taking cocaine and then drinking. The two drugs cancel each other out (they also cause a lot of damage when consumed together) but would give someone the stamina to stay out all night and morning.

I think you’re in a really vulnerable situation: unmarried with 3 little ones. Do you have family nearby? Any savings? If not, then I‘d start a run-away fund and plan my exit.

That's a silly idea.

Exactly. Three kids with this prince? And you don’t work, and are not married. Jeezo op, you are really vulnerable, unless you have your own money? Of course you are NBU re this situation here. He’s a disgrace.

Yes let’s wait for baby number 4 and him doing it a few more times, that’s a great idea!