AIBU to question sunflower lanyards for adults at airports?

You missed the bit about how disabled people managed before and if they can’t cope they should just not go out, but apart from that, pretty much, yeah

How can you tell who is wearing a lanyard "performatively" or not?

This is like the self appointed Blue Badge police, who confront people in car parks about "not looking disabled".

Get a life.

But like the person I travel with and a pp DH, the person I know doesn't appear to have a disability, so in some ways it is needed more.

If overwhelmed and a member of staff asks a question, despite appearing 'normal' they would not have the executive function to reply.

However when not overwhelmed they appear completely 'normal'.

So for example if everything goes as expected people would probably think they were faking.

But if there was a delay, or a gate change, or a seat change, or it was particularly noisy etc then they struggle.

It’s a realistic view of society. Sad? Of course.

But nevertheless, realistic. I disagree, wearing a lanyard performatively does not mean you have needs. Absolutely not.

I do wonder about this. Previously I would have let someone with a sunflower lanyard jump in front of me in the queue. Sometimes the baby changing and disabled toilet is the same space and I would have given them priority. But I don't know if someone with munchuasens, for example, trumps my toddlers needs?

The (non disabled members of the) general public's what?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 kindness? That's going to keep me laughing all week.

I see very little of that kindness towards disabled people and sunflower lanyards are not the reason more and more attacks on disabled people and demands for disabled people to get less government support are being made

What a sad view of society...sounds like the kindness is performative and not automatic then. Imagine being kind and compassionate to everyone.. can you?

You do get that disabled people ARE the general public...they aren't non humans?

If someone is wearing them performatively then they have needs...thats fairly obvious

A lot of airports are using their own lanyards rather than the sunflower one. My son uses one because he may have a meltdown if he becomes stressed/ overwhelmed. It just means people give us space if he gets upset. In everyday life people constantly question if he really has a disability and it gets tiresome.

My son uses a lanyard. Not just in airports but on trains, buses, shopping etc.
Ourwardly he might not look disabled, but no one has any idea what’s going on inside his body.
The lanyard has allowed us to use a different queue in the airport which has helped him greatly. While he might have “managed”, you wouldn’t have seen what that had cost him. It’s up to no one else whether he “needs” it or not.
For the record we also booked assistance but they don’t stay with you the entire time you’re in the airport. Nor did we need this. Surely is it not better for staff to give a tiny bit of extra patience where required than spend 2+ hours with one person?
We also paid for private transfers as we knew he wouldn’t manage an airport coach & paid for the lounge so he’d have somewhere quiet to wait. So it cost us extra as well, for the accommodations he needed, we didn’t just fly through the airport on a red carpet.

Ableism in society, has got to the point now where my husband won’t let my son wear the lanyard much & one of us will wear it if we’re out instead. He’s worried about someone giving him abuse. My son’s quite young for his age & wouldn’t understand.

He used to get a little extra patience from people, but this is becoming less the case with the general public. Luckily professionals still recognise it & he’s given consideration.

Ok so as I’m apparently misunderstanding things the argument various people are trying to make seems to be:

anyone can buy a sunflower lanyard.
the sunflower lanyward denotes disability

some people wear a sunflower lanyward and some other people think they shouldn’t

because some people wear a sunflower lanyard without being visibly disabled some able bodied people will be nastier to disabled people.

is that more or less it?

Yes it is. It costs £15 for 3 years but has already paid for itself as it has helped at various attractions where staff know instantly I need to use a lift or my husband is with me to help me if I need it. I had to upload medical evidence to get it.🙂

No one's forced to go on a plane to go on holiday. It's not a god given right you have to fly for a holiday. I've not flown for over 10 years, still managed plenty of holidays.

My physically disabled DD uses a sunflower lanyard. My physically disabled DD also is able to currently live independently, is at university, has a social life and travels. She is living life to the full as much as she can for as long as she can. Just a couple of months ago she was pulled to the front of a crowd and brought through to board a tube after a concert and was told it's because the Marshall spotted her lanyard.

My DS with a Neurological disability does not wear a lanyard. He will also never be able to live independently, have a fulfilling career, travel and live life the way my DD does.

My DD is currently at university doing a degree in SENDIS because she has seen first hand how society has treated them differently and doesn't want to see other disabled people go through that. She has spent her life having her disability validated as she is clearly visably disabled and has seen her brother who for all intents and purposes looks like a strapping healthy able bodied young man be treated as if his disability didn't exist as he was fully mobile. She doesn't punch down or play disability top trumps as she feels all disabled people are already facing struggles she would rather use her experience to uplift and improve people's lives rather than make it harder.

People are always worried that others are getting access to something that they don't have. Someone whose disability creates an additional barrier gets an adjustment intended to reduce that barrier. The adjustment isn't a benefit it'san attempt to give the person a comparable opportunity to participate.
I wear one for my bowel disease. I also have an access card and a radar key. There are people out there who will abuse the system but they are few and far between.

And you can also buy them yourself from Amazon? Why are you struggling to understand that?

My son can't wear one- he won't tollerate it. He is obviously disabled - think flapping, vocalising, strange movements and noises, in a wheelchair but can walk.

He always gets assistance which we book but can't imagine he wouldn't if we didn't (we push him through unless they insist but this usually happens in places with a tipping culture).

We've noticed a massive increase in their use, not just at airports but walking around town centres or venues generally.

I do think they are abused massively.

My DH suffers from dementia. When he was still able to fly we used a sunflower lanyard. It was very useful. It meant that if he started speaking to someone at random they would be aware as to why. It meant that when he went through se unity the staff would have some inkling that he might need some extra time. Your post shows considerable ignorance.

Exactly. They’ve been devalued as anyone can just buy them.

Airport assistance desks give them out to people using Assisstance.

If you strongly disapprove of the airport assistance desks giving them out can I suggest you mount a protest? Maybe at Heathrow. I’ll do you a placard.

I’m apparently classed as disabled, as in need a cocktail of horrible drugs everyday that come with all sorts of risk just so I can walk, breathe and swallow and I’m certainly not offended by Sirzy’s comment - in fact I totally agree 100%!

The general publics understanding and kindness. Simple concept. If people buy them and wear them performatively, people with genuine needs get overshadowed. No one will take the lanyard wearer seriously. Which is a shame.

In some ways it can be harder if you dont "look" disabled.
My older son is also autistic but he copes a lot better than my younger son. So people dont see that he is struggling so much that he comes home and locks himself in his room because he'shit his limit and he cant cope any more.

My younger son is out there yelling, stimming and if you get close enough, punching and people keep their distance.

My older son walks quietly, rarely melts down and hasn't had a violent outburst for years, but he is no less struggling with the noises, lights, smells etc and if he wanted to wear a lanyard he would have the absolute right to.

You can buy a radar key on Amazon...

So literally anyone can buy one of these online? Unfortunately I think that is why they will have become devalued in the eyes of many people, including those who work in industries where they are supposed to make allowances for lanyard wearers. It’s a shame those who need them will be regarded with suspicion or derision because of the action of a few.

I completely understand the need for people who hidden disabilities to wear one. Ditto anyone who is ND. I’m a bit confused at NT people saying they need one because they find airports tiring, noisy and stressful. The vast majority of the people who fly would say the same thing. I sometimes feel claustrophobic and overwhelmed on flights just before and after take-off. Breathing exercises, AirPods on with calming music (and a glass of wine in-flight) help massively. We’ve become a society where just working through difficult moments has been replaced by medication, ND diagnosis and demands for special treatment.

She’s not the only one to prance around an airport because she or he has diagnosed themselves.