Another wills one…

Don’t write it in your will ….

I don't agree.

My dc are all adult, and, should either of us die, we have both agreed that which is suggested above. I 100% want all of my half of our assets to go to my dc rather than any potential future stepmother, as does dh want his half to go to our dc rather than to any potential step father.

I can't see anything unreasonable about that.

My aunts best friend had cancer. Knowing she was terminal, she introduced her DH to a woman she fully expected him to marry post her death and look after her children. She had 3 houses that she had worked herself to the bone to provide an income for each of her two children and the third for her husband.

They married soon after her death and her childern have inherited nothing because the father left everything to the new wife.

This is the scenario you are trying to prevent and this is what you should both discuss.

DH and I have mirror wills that everything goes to the other person and then onto the children. I forced the conversation because my DF left no will and it was an unholy mess to result in paperwork.

What you cannot do as my aunts friend husband clearly did is prevent the changing of the will post the other ones passing.

Are you aware you may have to pay inheritance tax on assets not passing to your husband (above the nil rate band / Residence nil rate band)

I am happy for DH to fully own our home if I pass away first & him me, we have mirror wills.

I wouldn't want our (adult) children having control / influence over his home, I trust him just as much as I trust them.

(Many people on this site have younger children and can't imagine them being anything other than vulnerable young things. They do change!).

NEVER TRUST ANYONE TO LEAVE YOUR SHARE OF YOUR MONEY OR ASSETS TO YOUR CHILDREN !!! EVER. You are the only one can make sure your children get what you want to leave to them. Even the father of your children can disregard them. You are the only person who can make sure your children are provided for. Let your husband be upset , it doesnt change the fact you want to provide for them in the event of your death. For example , you own 50% of assets ,you could leave a % to husband and a % to your child / children. Look up what happened to linda bellinghams children .... totally disregarded because she 'trusted' a person (not th father of her children) with her money under the impression that person would make sure her children were provided for. They werent. They got nothing.

I think also if you die 1st and say your husband doesn’t remarry, if he went into care the council wouldn’t be able to touch the kids share of the home. I have a friend who asked a solicitor to do this but he advised against it, the reason being if any of your kids were declared bankrupt or got divorced the share of the house could be taken. Lots to think,about.

It's very reasonable. You change your tenancy to tenants in common on the deeds and leave your half in trust to the kids, with your DH having beneficial interest to live there or in an alternative house using the money, which he will also part own with the trust , with beneficial interest.

It's quite common and sensible

I understand what you are wanting to achieve. Have similar thoughts myself as we need to update our will. It's a difficult one. Be interested to see how the voting goes. Good luck.