To think my husband did not go too far and they should just get over it ?

This opinion won't be popular, but your aunt has a good point. Men and women do have different roles. 6 months paternity.... fine, I guess. But his role in that is to care for you and baby while you get into the swing of motherhood.

12 months off is ridiculous and unmanly. Your husband knows it, and she touched a nerve, which is why he bit back. He should apologise for being rude.

This opinion won't be popular, but your aunt has a good point. Men and women do have different roles. 6 months paternity.... fine, I guess. But his role in that is to care for you and baby while you get into the swing of motherhood.

12 months off is ridiculous and unmanly. Your husband knows it, and she touched a nerve, which is why he bit back. He should apologise for being rude.

This opinion won't be popular, but your aunt has a good point. Men and women do have different roles. 6 months paternity.... fine, I guess. But his role in that is to care for you and baby while you get into the swing of motherhood.

12 months off is ridiculous and unmanly. Your husband knows it, and she touched a nerve, which is why he bit back. He should apologise for being rude.

It had everything to do with the conversation though. She had been saying she needed to do something about her weight. Had she been talking about knitting, that's what he would have reported with.

Please read OPs posts before constructing your strawman argument.

This is what he said. Seems as though calling someone fat is a sin yet being sexist and misogynistic is okay. She has been at it for 4 years this was not the first run in, it is just the first time my husband decided to just tell to stop. NO before people jump at my throat for 'body shaming' I am not encouraging that behaviour and I have said to him I wish he approached it a different way, he has said he is sorry for embarrassing me but he won't be apologising to her, she has spent 4 years calling him names, being sexist, seemingly uncomfortable with the fact that he wants to be involved in fatherhood.

Who said I have never stepped in

It’s not just the weight comment. Telling someone to “fuck off” is really aggressive. Sad so many posters think it’s normal language.
And the stupid “nosey” comment is the insult of a playground. I’d worry he’s not got the communication skills to bring up children.

I mean all he had to say was he finds the repeated comments on parenting insulting and they need to stop. And follow up with the consequence ie we won’t visit or won’t visit with the kids etc.

It’s not just the weight comment. Telling someone to “fuck off” is really aggressive. Sad so many posters think it’s normal language.
And the stupid “nosey” comment is the insult of a playground. I’d worry he’s not got the communication skills to bring up children.

I mean all he had to say was he finds the repeated comments on parenting insulting and they need to stop. And follow up with the consequence ie we won’t visit or won’t visit with the kids etc.

Live by the sword, die by thebsword. She should have backed off when asked. I perso ally would try and avoid personal insults, but i can understand he was pushed past the point where he was able to moderate that. He could maybe say 'I shouldn't have commented on your personal appearance, but I will not apologise for asking you to back off' but that's the most i would suggest.

It’s not just the weight comment. Telling someone to “fuck off” is really aggressive. Sad so many posters think it’s normal language.
And the stupid “nosey” comment is the insult of a playground. I’d worry he’s not got the communication skills to bring up children.

I mean all he had to say was he finds the repeated comments on parenting insulting and they need to stop. And follow up with the consequence ie we won’t visit or won’t visit with the kids etc.

I think he did go too far and that personal insults are never appropriate. It was just a personal attack that had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation (and makes no sense in any case). He lost any moral high ground he had, and he should apologise for the insult.

At the same time, I think your relatives behaved badly as well. Their opinions are, frankly speaking, pathetic. They should keep those views to themselves. But responding to them as your husband did achieves nothing except raising the temperature. A lot of people on MN seem to thrive on drama, so they probably approve. But you're not living in some ridiculous reality TV show. In real life, most people say things they regret from time to time, but they still find a way to move on.

AIBU to think my husband did not go too far with the comment?

Husband and I have two boys. Our eldest has just started school this September and our youngest isn't even 4 weeks old.When we had our first, DH took 6 months paternity leave because his workplace offers it. He then spoke to work and took another 6 months unpaid. We got used to looking after our son and sharing everything, and honestly it was lovely. My side of family have never really understood it. A lot of the older women in my family made comments about why DH would want to take so much time off and seemed to think it was strange. His family are much more progressive about it. His dad actually said that if he'd had the opportunity to take a year off when his children were young he absolutely would have but it wasn't really a norm back the. Not saying it is the norm now but lots more places are starting to at least offer 6 months paternity.
We've now had our second baby and DH is doing exactly the same thing again 6 months paid paternity followed by 6 months unpaid. It works for us financially and more importantly, it's what we've both agreed we want.

Last week we went to my aunt's house. She's in her early 80s and was meeting our new baby for the first time.At one point the baby started crying and DH took him from me to settle him. DH too does a lot of the nappy changes, feeds, getting up in the night etc because we're both his parents and that's just how we've always done things.My aunt watched DH with the baby and said to him, "Isn't that your wife's job?"DH laughed and and carried on.
Her daughter, who is in her 50s, then joined in and started ranting at DH about how men and women have different roles, how he shouldn't be doing everything for me, etc. DH initially tried to laugh it off but she kept going and eventually he snapped.

He told her: "oh fuck off If you focused more on your weight nosey what I do for my family wouldn't matter to you." The room went completely silent. I was honestly shocked. I agree that she was being incredibly rude and I don't think there's anything remotely wrong with DH taking paternity leave or looking after his own children. But I also think bringing her weight into it was completely unnecessary.

DH says he doesn't regret saying it because she'd been going on at him for ages and he wanted to shut the conversation down. He also pointed out that she had no problem criticising our marriage and parenting while apparently being offended when he responded. I think he could have told her to mind her own business without commenting on her weight.

My family now think DH needs to apologise I have told my mum to just let it go if the aunt and her daughter are that upset about it, its not as though she sees my husband often. This is not the first time someone has snapped at the them, it happened over summer from a different relative.