To feel jealous of the dog

I'm sorry, but the more you post, the more unpleasant and controlling your husband sounds.

Are you aware of how beaten down and miserable you sound?

You sound like a fun sponge tbh.
I feel sorry for the dog you didn’t want.
Sounds like you have grown apart, and lead separate lives.

I know this is massively beside the point (i.e., point being you are two very incompatible people somehow in a marriage that makes zero sense), but.....

There are other, much more gentle ways to wake someone?!?!

DH and I are often knackered by the end of the week, so we make sure we each get lie-ins at the weekend. Every so often, one of us might oversleep when we have plans lined up. If that happens, I just go in, rub his shoulders and speak quietly to softly wake him up. He would do the same for me.

Opening the curtains would be a sure-fire way to piss either of us off!

OP you say he’s not a horrible person but if you don’t wake your child up there’s aggression and swearing and cursing. This doesn’t sound like a good person. Might you had said this to justify the opening the curtain thing? Or is he genuinely like this? If so, you and your family are tip toeing on eggshells around the man and it needs to be addressed, or your kids therapist will when they’re older.
The opening of curtains was out of order. If your son is late for football eventually they’ll figure it out between the two of them.
The dog thing is a side note. It’s not really about the dog is it. I reckon a good dose of marriage counselling may be in order.

That’s not a man/woman thing sexist. My husband would tip toe around me too, as I would him. It’s just basic consideration for the other person.

That's dog people for you. The many who claim to prefer their dog to other human beings are not joking I'm afraid.

He is a horrible person and you sound like you are in total denial. The stories your children will be telling when they are adults!

@TwinklyAmberSloth your relationship with your husband appears to have degenerated into one where nobody takes responsibility for themselves, and nobody communicates, so you just end up sniping at each other. Once the rot like that sets in, it generally only gets worse.

Why is it your responsibility to get them all up? Let them sleep in and miss out. They'll soon learn.

Why not let the children make mess when they make their food as your husband didn't feed them? If he moans about the mess, that is the moment to point out that he could have made lunch to a satisfactory cleanliness level.

You appear to be making a rod for your own back. The only thing you can control is what you do.

I get that some of these things are shared problems, but you appear to be trying to find solutions for things that are unwelcome and / or unhelpful.

I do agree with some of the PP's that it doesn't sound like you are very compatible, but would add that if you want someone to spend time with you, you need to make it a pleasant experience. Neither of you appear to do that. One of you needs to take the first step or your relationship is likely to degenerate further.

Ah yes, the woman must vacate the bedroom no doubt on tiptoe in the darkness to go and get ready in the toilet because the poor little man is sleeping and shouldn't be disturbed.

Well I’m somewhat skeptical about people who can also be difficult to live with / have a relationship with but they deflect that by focusing on how much they do for the family. For me, the passive aggressive act of opening the curtain and leaving a mess and comparing that to a dog is telling. Not saying the husband isn’t a dick either, just that I don’t think OP is that easy either. They’re not suited to each other.

She needs to get dressed, maybe comb her hair, put on moisturiser.

Weird how he gets away with showing zero consideration for her but she must tip toe around him in case the King wakes up a few minutes early.

I’m glad you didn’t open my curtains at 7:30AM on a Sunday!
Why would you do that?
I’m an early riser myself. I was up at 5:45AM this morning and was back home from a long walk with the dogs, hang the washing out to dry, had an at-home diy facial and started making breakfast for the family by 9AM, when everyone else was still asleep.
Throughout my morning activities I did not make unnecessary noise because everyone else was asleep. Why would I cause them to wake up if they were not ready? It’s Sunday, lovely morning, I’m busy myself, they’re all old enough to sort themselves out of a morning.
I suspect your DH asked you in the past, several times, not to wake him up like this.
When the children were younger, I would have hated DH waking me up if he was already awake to sort out the kids and start the Sunday on his own.

Funny how your posts have zero criticism of the H though.

She does everything but it’s still not enough in your eyes.

Firstly she never said she also was leaving and I’m assuming they have more than one room, so she can grab her stuff and get ready in the loo. There is no law says it’s to be the bedroom.

It’s not a race ro rhe bottom, she didn’t ask people to rank who is worse.

He has to leave the house at 8.15 anyway. She opened the curtains 20cm.

She needs to be able too see to get ready.

It's just rude and thoughtless behaviour and nothing anyone can say really changes that.

Her husband's behaviour is far more rude and thoughtless, but hey OP opened the curtains so his terrible behaviour towards her and the children fades into insignificance.

No but it’s a sign that he annoys her as much as she annoys him, and they probably don’t like each other that much.

DH is not deliberately ignoring me because I opened the curtains. He ALWAYS seems to ignore me. It's like I don't exist. He does it to the kids too. He just does his own thing like we don't exist.

I went out to help a friend one Sunday for a few hours and got back 3pm to find the kids hadn't had lunch. As soon as I walked through the door they asked me what was for lunch! DH was in his man cave doing stuff. I asked him why he hadn't fed the kids (nicely!) and he said "oh, I wasn't hungry". It's like the whole wife and kids thing doesn't seem to exist in his brain.

But he isn't a horrible person. He just seems totally self absorbed but not doing it deliberately.

He is a horrible person and he is doing it deliberately. I bet he feeds the dog whether he himself is hungry or not.

Your husband is not interested in you, your children or family life. You and your children would be better off without him in fact I doubt any of you would miss him as he is so absent from your lives except to shout and swear at you.

Edit for spelling.

Yep and everyone ignoring that OP works full time and does more hours than him, and also does all the cooking and cleaning too.

Hmm nah, I think you're just exaggerating to try and bolster your point.

It's just rude and thoughtless behaviour and nothing anyone can say really changes that.

They don't need to actually say the words they are showing they think it is by way they are over reacting to it and going on and on about it portraying it as a major incident.

Wife opens curtains whilst husband still asleep - husband is right to ignore wife and should divorce her for that calumny alone. I am only surprised the OP has not been accused of being abusive for said offence, mind you we've had her branded as controlling calling her abusive is probably not far behind.

Who looks after your poor dog if you're both working 37 - 40 hours?