To feel jealous of the dog

@TwinklyAmberSloth
in what way do you get on ‘fine’?

It sounds like you both hate each other to
be honest.

The curtain thing is massively passive aggressive but you know that. I’m guessing it’s just one of many things of both side which indicate you’ve stopped mattering to each other.

You need a proper conversation. Really honest and open to see if you even have a chance to reconcile but I expect it will be very hard.

Jesus op it doesn't matter that your husband was still mopping about months after the dog died. Grief has no time limit and comes and goes in waves. For some people they can even cycle back round the stages at various times of their lives. Your poor husband getting no support in his time of need. Honestly op just leave him and let him be with someone who will be there for him in his darkest moments.

Your dh sounds emotionally unavailable and like he's given up trying to make the relationship with you work.
You need to decide if you are happy to continue with this, whether it's worth trying to fix or whether you just need to leave

The dog is nothing to do with it.

So, he annoys you even when he does do it and he doesn’t do it with a good enough grace?

yoire on here complaining you do too much, how you do t like waking your kid up etc. as a pp said, you are not remotely jealous of the dog, as you’ve no more desire to be with your husband than he has to be with you

I’m not avoiding hee question, why on earth would I. It is not normal in a healthy marriage where the two people like each other. It is totally normal when they dislike each other. He tries to talk to her. When he comes home. She is not liking this as it’s about his work. They don’t engage further. Totally normal in a dead marriage where neither party likes the other.

You both sound like people who could be very happy and likable people to live with, but you just cannot do that with each other. You are each other's polar opposites. The things he likes, you hate. The things you like, he hates. There is no common ground, no laughing, no interesting conversations, no closeness, no care. Neither of you think the marriage is important or likeable enough to save so just give it up and live the lives you want to live.

Also, don't put the blame on the dog for this. This is between two grown humans. You also don't want to actually be the dog, you don't particularly like your husband. I think you'd hate it if he wanted to spend all his time with you, have you sitting with him on the sofa all night, go everywhere with you. Your relationship isn't like that, you are both happier doing your own thing.

You're getting a hard time about the curtains from all the people who are not shouty asses when things get rushed or who did not understand that he was planning to get up and had to get a teenager up. Maybe that was not ideal but whatever, it pales in comparison to the shouting if ds is slow.

Stop doing everything for him.
He obviously does not like you or love you.
Take steps to leave, then leave.
This is really bad for your happiness and well- being but also for your son.

OK message received. I am a thoughtless controlling evil person for opening the curtains 20 cm to let some light in.

You are not, ignore all the horror filled posts and posters going on about curtain opening.

I'm just trying to ascertain if its normal to not speak to your wife all day, not because he is sulking but because it doesn't seem to cross his mind that he has to.

No, it's not normal. Living the way you are is neither normal or healthy, you are clearly unhappy, this marriage is not working for you and neither is it a healthy environment for your children,

The dog wants for nothing. A walk would never be missed. Two a day. Food is often supermarket finest roast chicken, microwaved to a pleasant temperature. No silver platter yet. Dog beds in three rooms. He frequently chats to the dog, tummy tickles etc... Quite the pampered pooch. Dog is 12 so getting on a bit...
Kids love the dog but he is always telling them off for being too rough or annoying the dog.

The dog is the centre of your husband's word you and the children don't even come close.

It just feels really humiliating to come second place to a dog.

It is, and not just for you but your children too.

Do the best for yourself and your children and end this sham of a marriage/relationship. You are not living as part of a couple, you are not a team, what would be the difference if he wasn't there? None, you are already living separate lives.

It just feels really humiliating to come second place to a dog.

Obviously. But he's unlikely to change now. They rarely do once they're checked out, so you choose what you want and deserve. You don't have to put up with it, but you can only control your own behaviour. A marriage shouldn't be a humiliation or a life sentence.

Why open his curtains when he’s asleep?. No need to do that, but it sounds as though you are incompatible.

Did he want to be up at 7.30? If I were taking my teenager somewhere at 8.15, I can get up at 8 and still be ready in time. Opening the curtains when `I’m still sleeping is what my mother used to do to me. I wouldn’t expect my husband to do that to me, and he wouldn’t dream of it.

It’s not about the dog, you’re just married to someone who has no interest in you or being a decent partner

get rid

You are unbelievable unreasonable

Who opens the curtains because theyre an early riser, when other people aren't?

And why can't you walk the dog so he doesn't have too?

Why aren't you and the (old enough) children dealing with your own trash and stuff?

Why is this all on dad?

You have different interests you want to play Piano in the evenings but you know he dislikes noise, but you also don't like him taking himself off with the dog to a different room whilst you do what pleases you?

It's not like he is telling you don't have fun, you can go read, play your music, listen to your own sounds - but he can't walk the dog or have a lie in?

This is mental

Avoiding her question yet again.

I was going to ask OP, why are you doing this? Why aren't you insisting he does his fair share?

Oh dear.

op, don’t start threads if you don’t want honest answers. Or write them and say can you just tell me my husband is a right cunt. Or paint yourself as the best wife ever.

Have you tried being less of a martyr? Because you are not coming across well at all.

but hey OP opened the curtains so his terrible behaviour towards her and the children fades into insignificance.

Ironic you should post this hyperbole after quoting my post about exaggeration to bolster opinion lol.

Don’t get your DS up for football. Leave it for your DH. Stop doing so much @TwinklyAmberSloth

And also, consider whether you want to remain in this marriage; it sounds awful for both of you. Not taking sides, but I’m sure you would be far happier on your own.

Does he purposely wake you up when he goes to bed later? There is literally no need for you to open the curtains when you wake up early if he's still sleeping - other than to annoy him. And let's be honest - you know that. You don't sound like you like or respect him very much so it's no surprise he would rather walk the dog than spend time with you. If my DP decided the dog had to sleep in the utility room - he'd be gone.

And I agree with this as well.

Let them get up in their own time and if they're late, they're late - why make it your problem?

Yes.....thats exactly what you should do. A teenager is more than capable of setting an alarm and DH is a grown adult. Your marriage sounds utterly shit. I would be annoyed if you opened the curtains too!

And whats with emphasis on showers when they are going to football? Why can't they have showers when they get back?