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AIBU?

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Asked my Ex to buy a second pair of school shoes

104 replies

Blackraven17 · 20/09/2026 11:22

My daughter is with me 60 percent of the time, 40 with her dad.
last year I was constantly getting phone calls late at night asking for her school shoes when she was staying at his and needing them the next day. I suggested several times he buys a second pair to have at his and he never did.
this year I took her get her shoes and she has reached a age where she is extremely fussy, we must of tried on about 30 pairs. Finally found a pair of hush puppies she approved of and found comfortable.
i sent him the link and said can you please purchase a pair so she always has a pair to wear whatever house she is in which we know she will like. He begrudgingly bought them.
he is now kicking off at me this morning as she has gone to his with school uniform for tomorrow and has MY pair of shoes not his, the ones he specifically bought. They are the exact same pair of shoes..
claiming it was a waste of money and he shouldn’t of had to buy any. FYI I buy 99 percent of her belongings and he has no issue in me buying her a phone etc and taking her on holidays etc, where he can’t be bothered to and would rather spend the money he has ( he is not struggling) on himself and his new partner on weekends away etc, he has never once suggested doing that for his daughter even before his partner was around.
I have said if he is that worried he can come over and swap them. Am i unreasonable to have suggested he bought a pair?

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 20/09/2026 11:29

This is how petty men are when it comes to prising money out of them for their kids. Unless an item is for them they arent interested.

pinotnow · 20/09/2026 11:28

It's very difficult for kids logistically living between two homes (mine do so I'm speaking from experience). Anything that can be done to make it easier should be done, by both parents. YANBU - how does he even know it's not the pair he bought if they are the same?

TwinklyAmberSloth · 20/09/2026 11:28

If you can have sex and make a baby together then you can coordinate the simple task of sending a child to the correct house with a pair of school shoes.

So YABU and insisting on a second pair was a waste of money.

It all sounds rather pathetic and the three of you need to be more organised.

QPZM · 20/09/2026 11:25

To be honest I would've thought between the 3 of you, someone would remember the shoes and there'd be no need for a second pair.

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