Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you do if you found out your auntie was on OF?

193 replies

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 04:04

Am I being unreasonable?

My eldest has asked for access to Tik Tok recently, I dont particularly use this platform myself so we agreed that until mum scopes it out and takes a look we'll hang fire, im not sure. Im very cautious with settings and so far its only WhatsApp my child uses. Snapchat was a definite no!

Anyway, whilst checking it and looking at my own (blank) account that I dont use i saw i had followers, all new to me..... I click the link to see my Auntie on there with a very suggestive username. I click on it and was surprised at the content! No nudes images, but very suggestive, boob's galore 🫣 lets say shes a large blessed lady. But I certainly didn't expect to see my auntie in a school uniform on all fours 🤦‍♀️ or wobbling her assets.

My first thought was.... oh my gosh what if my kids saw this or there friends. Shes also invited and telling ppl in the videos to check her only fans.

I happened to message my mother to see if she knew anything about this, she too was alarmed, she then told my dad (her brother) who wasn't particularly happy. Anyway its now caused a big family drama, causing her and my dad to fall out. Not what I intended. Now im left feeling like its my fault. I do feel bad, shes a grown woman, I just think personality she could have had the decency to have been more private about all this. The comments from total strangers were alarming alone. No consideration for the teens in our family trying to navigate this crazy world, I think of the backlash it could cause and humiliation. I don't want them seeing there great aunt suckling on her finger or wearing pvc lingerie.
My cousin (her daughter) got in touch to say she was disappointed and disgusted in her uncles attitude towards her mum. When I asked if she'd seen or knew about her OF and tik tok she said no, ive always told her im not interested in her content but shes assured me that its all about positive body image for larger ladies. 🤦‍♀️ But my take is if you're staying in the dark you wont see the concern others have. Its a tricky one.

Like I said, shes a grown adult not my business, but as a mum I feel very protective about the lads/teens in our family and if they or there mates came across all this. Its all been blown up 😫 and that wasn't my intention. It was just a bit of a shock, shes my auntie too, my dad did jump and i felt i didn't have time to approach it myself and maybe ask her to adjust her settings. He flew in because he wasn't happy about it. 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Sartre · 20/09/2026 07:18

You shouldn’t have drip fed the point about her being vulnerable. I don’t know what you mean by vulnerable but if you mean learning disabled, severely mentally ill or suffering with dementia etc then that’s absolutely relevant and would make me feel completely differently about this. Having said that, her daughter presumably isn’t worried and was more upset at your dad reacting negatively so…

Look, without that drip feed which is still dependent on WHY she’s vulnerable in your eyes (age alone isn’t enough of a reason) then I don’t think I would have even mentioned it to anyone. She’s old enough to make her own decisions in life.

bettyrubble99 · 20/09/2026 07:18

You should've forgot you saw it, kept it to yourself and blocked the account. What a tattletale you are dobbin her in to your mum.

Astra53 · 20/09/2026 07:13

Why the need to tell anyone? You should have spoken to your aunt directly and not involved the world and his dog.

Missey85 · 20/09/2026 07:07

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 06:44

Yes my kids friends would know her. She lives on the next street amongst friends. My eldest is 14.

If im honest, im not sure my cousin would be happy she has teens too. Shes playing the "what i dont know won't hurt me card" shes told her mum shes not to mention it to her. I didn't want to see/find it. I found it through mutual followers/suggestions i guess. Im not really savvy with tik tok. But also invited dont think shes thought about how it could be shared if in the wrong hands, course im over worrying.

But I know, knowing what i know if it was someone else, someone heres kids seeing or hearing about a family member, a respected family member, online openly flaunting her OF on tik tok with previews you'd also be a tad concerned.

Well we found the town gossip it's you! Bloody hell find a hobby and keep your nose out of others business 😂😂😂 your aunt is a grown woman and can do what she wants to

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 06:51

SALaw · 20/09/2026 06:41

If she’s so vulnerable and the community is so small and tight knit, why does your town councillor cousin not care? I think your are exaggerating on both counts. And you say she’s not worldly wise - I think she might have gained a pretty decent insight into the brains of many men out there if she is on only fans. I assume it is a pretty eye opening place.

I think my cousin chooses to ignore it. Shes under the impression she just posts for body confidence empowering women. Shes asked her not to talk about it and doesn't wanna know. I think she knows deep down. She is very traditional, im not sure she'd be ok with it.

OP posts:
Bluffinwithmymuffin · 20/09/2026 06:50

IHaveAFeelingWeAreNotInKansasAnymore · 20/09/2026 05:13

Perhaps you should have just blocked the account instead of gossiping to everyone about it.

Exactly

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 06:44

SALaw · 20/09/2026 06:34

If your very grown up Auntie and her own daughter are ok with what she’s doing then there’s no way she’d change her settings for the sake of your son. It would presumably impact the volume of traffic to her site and potentially hit her income stream. Would your son’s mates know who his great Auntie is anyway?

Yes my kids friends would know her. She lives on the next street amongst friends. My eldest is 14.

If im honest, im not sure my cousin would be happy she has teens too. Shes playing the "what i dont know won't hurt me card" shes told her mum shes not to mention it to her. I didn't want to see/find it. I found it through mutual followers/suggestions i guess. Im not really savvy with tik tok. But also invited dont think shes thought about how it could be shared if in the wrong hands, course im over worrying.

But I know, knowing what i know if it was someone else, someone heres kids seeing or hearing about a family member, a respected family member, online openly flaunting her OF on tik tok with previews you'd also be a tad concerned.

OP posts:
SALaw · 20/09/2026 06:41

If she’s so vulnerable and the community is so small and tight knit, why does your town councillor cousin not care? I think your are exaggerating on both counts. And you say she’s not worldly wise - I think she might have gained a pretty decent insight into the brains of many men out there if she is on only fans. I assume it is a pretty eye opening place.

SALaw · 20/09/2026 06:34

If your very grown up Auntie and her own daughter are ok with what she’s doing then there’s no way she’d change her settings for the sake of your son. It would presumably impact the volume of traffic to her site and potentially hit her income stream. Would your son’s mates know who his great Auntie is anyway?

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 06:28

Yeh, well they must know, wonder if their wives do too 🤦‍♀️ Im just unsettled about it all, but then again im not very worldly with all these apps and dating apps... hence why ive told my kid i'd look at tik tok before I said yes to him opening an account. I had zero idea she was on there or that she had OF. Small part of me at the time just thought that this very open choice shes made had zero regard to her family that live around her. Shes savvy enough to make the videosand upload them but didn't think about the privacy aspect or repercussions, shes bold and confident. I guess part of her seemed like she didn't care and that I guess might have rattled me.
Shes a grown woman, I get it. Ots her buisness. I just feel a level of respect for the family is needed.

OP posts:
Crazydoglady1980 · 20/09/2026 06:22

But you said that there are people you know who follow her so it sounds like people in the community already know,
How old are your children? Unless they are still very young there will be people in their class who already have Tik Tok

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 06:20

I maybe should add my eldest is 14.

OP posts:
CCb85 · 20/09/2026 06:15

They will recognise her, she lives in the next street. As i said we're a close knitt community, her daughter is on the town coucil. My kids have friends on her street, the parents of my kids friends know her. This is my concern. Shes known in the area, we're a big family. Its all too close to home. I was shocked at how many followers she had that i knew. Some of which im worried are there to judge.

OP posts:
CCb85 · 20/09/2026 06:10

Yes, agree i would use parental setting so my kids wouldn't see content. They proberly wouldn't have know about her OF. But she openly discusses her OF on her tik tok page, which she hadn't set to private. I dont know ir use tik tok I was giving myself a crash course as I said checking it out before I said yes to my kid using it. I think my concern comes from kids that have free reign online. Ive seen it first hand and aware of kids sharing and teasing in snap chat. I have friends that have had issues with their kids and bullying etc. KIds can be cruel, I didn't want someone to share, it find it, older siblings of his friends sharing it. We're a small community and I was already alarmed to see so many ppl i knew following her page. Its my job to protect my kids and my family.
But yes seems ive made a hash of all this. 🥺 When it comes to my kids I do over worry, over think. I have 2 kids that don't have phones yet, im just not ready for them to have one yet, i feel theyre too young. Im not sure im ready for my eldest to have tik tok.

I dont blame my mum at all, shes always got best intentions.

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 20/09/2026 06:05

Your children’s friends are not going to recognise their great aunt on tiktok.

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 05:59

Noted. I could have handled it differently,.I guess I was feeling awkward about approaching her, embarrassed to bring it up incase she had no idea if saw it 🤦‍♀️

Maybe i was hoping mum would have spoken to her i dont know, I guess I wiped out and just wanted to see if I was over reacting and needed to forget it. I guess my mums reaction suddenly made me feel like I wasn't perhaps over reacting and before I could do anything, my dad apologises to me and says he's told her to sort it out (in so many words). I believe shes now set her settings. We're a proud family and it was just a shock. I wasn't gossiping, there was no rush of enjoyment out of it.

If you had an elderly, vulnerable family member freely online using these platforms in a way that should i feel be private in respect of the family im sure there would be somebody you'd want to talk to in the family about it out of concern. I wanted to check how to approach it, its a delicate matter I didn't want to embarrass myself or my auntie.
Its not as if I ran into the office and disgusted it with colleagues. It was my mum. Unfortunately I made a mistake and its all gone wrong. I feel so terribly sad about it. I guess I was just seeking some advice anonymously.

OP posts:
McSpoot · 20/09/2026 05:57

You don't get to criticize your mother for spreading gossip that you spread to her.

FullOfLemons · 20/09/2026 05:51

Why would your lads find your aunties OF ?

The probability of them finding it amongst the millions of pages of content on the internet must be very low.

Even then you could (maybe should) put a content blocker on your kids devices / internet router to stop them visiting OF and other sites hosting adult content.

SoftBlanketAndADog · 20/09/2026 05:50

Zfactorstar · 20/09/2026 05:25

This reads as a fetish post.

It does. A bloke being a creep on here. Fairly common.

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 05:46

Thank you, I guess without all the details its hard to see the whole picture.
Im genuinely sad its caused my dad and her to fall out, that what im worried about. Im limited to who I can talk to about it because i dont want to "gossip" as its been said.

She its in her late 60s and vulnerable and yes im all for celebrating body confidence, but shes not well and I don't want ppl taking advantage of her or giving her abuse/made fun of. And yes as I keep saying, im protective over what my kids see, I didn't want them to see there great aunt like this.
I just wish I my mum hadn't told my dad, I spoke to her in confidence and shes made it awkward. But, I know her intentions are of concern too.

My title to this thread should have been something like " im worried ive upset my family". Its very late, im tired, im just stressing about it. Im not thinking straight.

OP posts:
Ohdearnotthisagain · 20/09/2026 05:46

You should have spoken directly to your aunty and such she create a separate account. Instead you gossiped to your mum. Yes, you did. Don’t pretend otherwise. I hope you got the rush you needed given the fall out.

MouseMama · 20/09/2026 05:43

You caused all the drama by telling your mum who told her brother who told the aunt who spoke to her daughter. Of course it’s shocking and you didn’t want to see it but had you spoken directly to your aunt about her privacy settings there would have been no drama and her dignity preserved.

unlikelychump · 20/09/2026 05:36

Im in my 40s too which makes my aunts past 70. So I would be somewhat alarmed to discover this.

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 05:33

A fetish post. 😳 im lost. Shes my Auntie??

Not sure how worrying about my familes kids seeing inappropriate posts from my Auntie is me having a fetish.

Clearly Im naive to all this, I not in this "modern world" .

Thank you all for the advice.

OP posts:
CCb85 · 20/09/2026 05:27

I didn't gossip to my mum. Its my mum, we discuss everything family wise together. I dont like my laundry aired hence why I didn't want to confined in my close mate, I didn't tell my husband because I didn't want to make things awkward between them, making him see her in that way. I just wasn't expecting mum my to go to my dad 🤦‍♀️ it blew up and I didn't get a chance to approach it myself. That's part of it, i guess I am being selfish in the fact I dont want people to know to see it, especially for it to get back to my kids or them be teased about it.

OP posts: