What would you do if you found out your auntie was on OF?

I’m genuinely in shock that you singlehandedly decided to make it your business to out your aunt to the family.

You could have had a quiet word with her. You could have pretended you never saw it and had a mature, grown up conversation with your kids about the content if they ever had come across it (but likely wouldn’t if you used the age-appropriate content blocks).

Instead, it is entirely your fault for running to mummy to gossip about her sister. ‘Needed advice’ my arse. She wasn’t harming anyone but you just had to cause drama 🙄 Every family has one, I guess.

I voted YANBU for 2 reasons: she is openly promoting this activity on her standard TikTok page so it was easily discoverable (as you did); she is actively promoting the current unhealthy obsession with porn which is driving the escalation in violence against women and misogyny in general.

There are lots of ways to promote body positivity. This is not one of them.

If I saw these kinds of posts from my auntie, the first thing I’d do is ring my mother.
Surely, if you’re close to your mum, that’s the natural reaction?

If she's on her hands and knees I'd be worried about her benefits 🫣

Mind your own business. It's that simple.

Just leave this OP, you're making things worse by encouraging everyone to talk about it.

That's a strange comment, are you assuming everyone is like you? What has a holiday got to do with this?

There IS a female KC on OF. She has a huge following.

I suppose you wouldn't mind if she took you on a nice holiday with the money she is making?

I must admit I’d find it very strange if one of my aunts was on OF. Especially the one who’s a KC!!!!

You've described your aunt as "elderly and vulnerable" - she isn't elderly - she is in her 60s. And even if she was elderly, unless she has dementia or a similar condition that could impact her decision-making, I don't see how it's relevant. She still has agency just like any other adult.

As for vulnerable - how do you mean this? Does she have additional needs? Mental health issues? If so, then yes, quite possibly family do need to stage an intervention, and it would be appropriate to speak to her next of kin (her daughter?) to make a decision on next steps.

I also wondered whether you fear she is being manipulated by a partner into doing this - was there someone else filming or involved in the vids, from what you saw? If so, again it would fall to her next of kin to decide whether aunty is in a possibly abusive relationship causing her to act out of character, and try to intervene (never easy). And you could of course offer your support with this op, if you chose to.

If there are no additional needs etc then aunty is fully able to make her own decisions - and she doesn't sound particularly lacking in tech-based understanding, as she has uploaded the content, is promoting it etc. It's possible she may not fully understand SM algorithms and the chances of her loved ones finding her content - in that case I would have got in touch myself and just had a quiet word.

Anyway, the cat's out of the bag now. You aren't massively to blame for telling your mom - if you are close to her it's a natural thing to do - I would have told mine BUT would trust mine to take it no further - perhaps you hoped for the same from yours....

I think what you do now depends on the questions I have asked above. If she is truly "vulnerable" due to SN, MH or an abusive relationship, support her family in making her safer if they can.

If by "vulnerable" you mean more that she has a personality which often leads her to make decisions you wouldn't make - really it's her life, and you have to allow her to crack on with it. I am ethically opposed to pornography in all it's variants myself, as it is too open to abuse (hate to think how many women on OF are posting because they are shit-scared of their partner who is insisting they do so). But if she is genuinely posting her content consensually and happily, she's an adult and that's her free choice. All you can do is speak to your own kids about porn and try to make sure they know that every time they view it, they may well be viewing an actual of coercion or rape......

You were shit stirring by gossiping with your mum! You caused a drama when you could have had a quiet word with your auntie directly about settings.

Why did you tell your family? She’s an adult. No wonder drama ensued

The OP's spelling and grammar is awful ("there" instead of "their" everywhere and other basic mistakes). That's enough for me to assume it's genuine.

I wasn't replying to you though. I think you're perhaps getting a little too invested in this thread.

Well, i think you have answered your own question about whther to let your kid on tiktok!
As you say your aunt is a grown woman and absolutely none of this is your business. You are the consumate shitstirrer!

This.
Then I'd have just acted like I hadn't seen it.

To answer your question OP, I would've minded my own business, or, if I thought my aunty was a vulnerable adult as you suggest, talk with her personally about it, not embarass her even more by talking to another family member. I would also not let my 14 year old on tik tok because of coming across videos like this, but that's your perogative. What's done is done now, let's hope this all blows over. Are you going to personally speak to your aunty about it? You could then explain she needs to be more discreet (if you are actually worried about teen members of the family).

If she’s redirecting to OF tiktok Will ban her so no worries he will see her. I’m very surprised it’s not removed her account anyway if it’s suggestive like that as because it’s Chinese owned they’re super strict on sexualised content.

Enough with your fantasies!

To be fair, I am only ten years older than my niece. I had a friend who was only 18 months older than his aunt.

My aunties are between 59-76 so I’d be a bit shocked, and I might be a bit concerned that they were struggling financially or had been pushed to do it by someone else (as it would be very out of character for any of them, as they’re all conservative catholics).

What I wouldn’t do is go gossiping with my other family members about it. If I had legitimate and genuine concerns I would speak to them directly because they’re grown woman who can make their own decisions, and regardless they of my opinions they can do what they like.

Why are you acting the innocent, when you full well know you started all this by telling people?

I've found out things about relatives whilst handling their estate both older generation close family. I've just buried it deep and not said anything.

But a vulnerable living person I might have gone to them and said look you need to alter your privacy settings for your own personal safety.

I personally think you’ve done nothing wrong. If I had seen it was a family member I’d be telling my family too! Who keeps something like that to themselves??! She wants to be on social media half naked so she shouldn’t mind everyone including family seeing her, right?! It’s not a secret she’s keeping! It’s public knowledge now it’s on social media. If she’s happy doing that and everyone knowing it then what can you do. I’ve a feeling after a while of no nice men wanting to date her and friends and neighbours not talking to her like they used to, she may think it’s no longer a good idea.