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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you do if you found out your auntie was on OF?

193 replies

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 04:04

Am I being unreasonable?

My eldest has asked for access to Tik Tok recently, I dont particularly use this platform myself so we agreed that until mum scopes it out and takes a look we'll hang fire, im not sure. Im very cautious with settings and so far its only WhatsApp my child uses. Snapchat was a definite no!

Anyway, whilst checking it and looking at my own (blank) account that I dont use i saw i had followers, all new to me..... I click the link to see my Auntie on there with a very suggestive username. I click on it and was surprised at the content! No nudes images, but very suggestive, boob's galore 🫣 lets say shes a large blessed lady. But I certainly didn't expect to see my auntie in a school uniform on all fours 🤦‍♀️ or wobbling her assets.

My first thought was.... oh my gosh what if my kids saw this or there friends. Shes also invited and telling ppl in the videos to check her only fans.

I happened to message my mother to see if she knew anything about this, she too was alarmed, she then told my dad (her brother) who wasn't particularly happy. Anyway its now caused a big family drama, causing her and my dad to fall out. Not what I intended. Now im left feeling like its my fault. I do feel bad, shes a grown woman, I just think personality she could have had the decency to have been more private about all this. The comments from total strangers were alarming alone. No consideration for the teens in our family trying to navigate this crazy world, I think of the backlash it could cause and humiliation. I don't want them seeing there great aunt suckling on her finger or wearing pvc lingerie.
My cousin (her daughter) got in touch to say she was disappointed and disgusted in her uncles attitude towards her mum. When I asked if she'd seen or knew about her OF and tik tok she said no, ive always told her im not interested in her content but shes assured me that its all about positive body image for larger ladies. 🤦‍♀️ But my take is if you're staying in the dark you wont see the concern others have. Its a tricky one.

Like I said, shes a grown adult not my business, but as a mum I feel very protective about the lads/teens in our family and if they or there mates came across all this. Its all been blown up 😫 and that wasn't my intention. It was just a bit of a shock, shes my auntie too, my dad did jump and i felt i didn't have time to approach it myself and maybe ask her to adjust her settings. He flew in because he wasn't happy about it. 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Loopylambs · 20/09/2026 22:34

Is she eligible for pip if she can get on all fours 😂 ? Get herself dressed into tight pvc and school uniform? I’m howling imagining her face to face assessment. I’m wondering if this post is genuine .

Happycat74 · 20/09/2026 22:33

Did anyone else read that as her mum and dad were siblings or is it just me?!

cornflakecrunchie · 20/09/2026 22:05

Not RTFT but poor OP!!
I feel very sorry for her being attacked by everyone, I'm surprised people still post their worries & concerns here, the way other posters turn on them. I can see why some women get called bitches, tbh..

Harmonypuss · 20/09/2026 21:42

You've already said it yourself....
She's a grown adult and it's not your business

ElizaJ74 · 20/09/2026 21:37

I'd mind my own fkn business
So many people should really try doing the same

VeneziaJ · 20/09/2026 20:54

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 05:59

Noted. I could have handled it differently,.I guess I was feeling awkward about approaching her, embarrassed to bring it up incase she had no idea if saw it 🤦‍♀️

Maybe i was hoping mum would have spoken to her i dont know, I guess I wiped out and just wanted to see if I was over reacting and needed to forget it. I guess my mums reaction suddenly made me feel like I wasn't perhaps over reacting and before I could do anything, my dad apologises to me and says he's told her to sort it out (in so many words). I believe shes now set her settings. We're a proud family and it was just a shock. I wasn't gossiping, there was no rush of enjoyment out of it.

If you had an elderly, vulnerable family member freely online using these platforms in a way that should i feel be private in respect of the family im sure there would be somebody you'd want to talk to in the family about it out of concern. I wanted to check how to approach it, its a delicate matter I didn't want to embarrass myself or my auntie.
Its not as if I ran into the office and disgusted it with colleagues. It was my mum. Unfortunately I made a mistake and its all gone wrong. I feel so terribly sad about it. I guess I was just seeking some advice anonymously.

Not sure 60’s counts as “elderly” 😒

jjW29 · 20/09/2026 20:33

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 05:08

Yes. 100% i went to mum for advice, we discussed everything and shes generally mellow. I called this one wrong and I hold my hand up like i said shes from a different time and she was concerned, as my dad was 🤦‍♀️ and very embarrassed. I intended and wanted to contact her myself, delicately, I guess I just need to see and have some clarity if I was over reacting and how to go about it. I kind of didn't want to admit to seeing it, out of concern because I wondered if she knew it wasn't set to private 🙈
Her daughter is town council too so, yeh I just wanted to approach it delicately but hey ho. As I said its blow up 😫

It’s blown up because of you,if you’re so concerned like you say you are,why didn’t you speak to your aunt first

HappyMuma · 20/09/2026 20:22

You say it’s not your business but then you’ve told people about it. OF/TikTok isn’t for me but each to their own. Your Aunt is a grown woman and what she does is her own choice. Forget you saw it

LydiaJayne · 20/09/2026 20:18

11AndCounting · 20/09/2026 19:42

Name?

Not planning to follow, I just find it a bit difficult to believe.

Why? I'd assume she's talking about the law not performing striptease 😂

Spicysenorita · 20/09/2026 19:46

@Pineneedlesincarpet sorry didnt mean to quote you

Spicysenorita · 20/09/2026 19:45

Pineneedlesincarpet · 20/09/2026 08:08

The way it's written is clearly Ai.

I dont think tiktok is appt at all. I have it (never post), some of the posts are shocking!!, and the comments section can be vile!

MissSold · 20/09/2026 19:45

A woman needs to do what she can in this economy 🤣

11AndCounting · 20/09/2026 19:42

CoventryCity · 20/09/2026 09:57

There IS a female KC on OF. She has a huge following.

Name?

Not planning to follow, I just find it a bit difficult to believe.

11AndCounting · 20/09/2026 19:40

August1980 · 20/09/2026 19:00

Very judgemental from post/troublesome from someone who can’t even spell. Perhaps less tik tok and more time with books for you and your children OP!

Can't make any sense of the first sentence, though, whereas I can at least follow the OP.

Phelicity · 20/09/2026 19:34

I don’t know if this is a “fetish post” but I do think it’s a fantasy post - your fantasy OP.
In any case, none of it rings true.

11AndCounting · 20/09/2026 19:34

maxslice · 20/09/2026 19:23

Consider respecting a family member’s privacy and speaking only to them if you have a concern about their choices.

I'm really not sure what privacy has to do with any of this.

maxslice · 20/09/2026 19:33

GarlicSomething · 20/09/2026 11:09

What's a KC?

Kings Counsel. A high level barrister..

maxslice · 20/09/2026 19:30

Confused19831983 · 20/09/2026 10:29

If I saw these kinds of posts from my auntie, the first thing I’d do is ring my mother.
Surely, if you’re close to your mum, that’s the natural reaction?

Nope. Natural reaction would be talking to auntie.

maxslice · 20/09/2026 19:23

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 06:28

Yeh, well they must know, wonder if their wives do too 🤦‍♀️ Im just unsettled about it all, but then again im not very worldly with all these apps and dating apps... hence why ive told my kid i'd look at tik tok before I said yes to him opening an account. I had zero idea she was on there or that she had OF. Small part of me at the time just thought that this very open choice shes made had zero regard to her family that live around her. Shes savvy enough to make the videosand upload them but didn't think about the privacy aspect or repercussions, shes bold and confident. I guess part of her seemed like she didn't care and that I guess might have rattled me.
Shes a grown woman, I get it. Ots her buisness. I just feel a level of respect for the family is needed.

Consider respecting a family member’s privacy and speaking only to them if you have a concern about their choices.

Sueandthegoldfish · 20/09/2026 19:19

I’d have kept quiet and had a private word at an opportune moment to suggest she ups her privacy settings.

maxslice · 20/09/2026 19:16

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 05:10

Perhaps its worth mentioning that she seems to attract strange men as partners. One tried to strangle her with her sleep machine 🤦‍♀️ another threw a lamp at her in a hotel room. We do worry about her.

Then talk to her privately, directly. You blew it.

maxslice · 20/09/2026 19:14

Well, if your children weren’t aware of this before, I bet they sure as hell are now. And chances are, they’ll try to check it out. Good job protecting your kids, nimrod.

maxslice · 20/09/2026 19:07

I’d be more concerned if my kids were looking at OF, no matter who was on it. I’d be very surprised to see my aunt there, but it’s not my business. I certainly wouldn’t go around telling everyone and then be ridiculously naively assume it wouldn’t cause trouble. Yes, OP, the fallout IS your fault.

August1980 · 20/09/2026 19:00

Very judgemental from post/troublesome from someone who can’t even spell. Perhaps less tik tok and more time with books for you and your children OP!

Zerosleep · 20/09/2026 18:56

Basically, you have interfered in something that has got sweet FA to do with you, caused a load of problems by being totally judgmental and now you’re on here so we can all make you feel much better about the fact you caused a load of trouble because we should all follow your beliefs and be disgusted about it. Does that capture it? I would suggest you mind your own business.