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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you do if you found out your auntie was on OF?

193 replies

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 04:04

Am I being unreasonable?

My eldest has asked for access to Tik Tok recently, I dont particularly use this platform myself so we agreed that until mum scopes it out and takes a look we'll hang fire, im not sure. Im very cautious with settings and so far its only WhatsApp my child uses. Snapchat was a definite no!

Anyway, whilst checking it and looking at my own (blank) account that I dont use i saw i had followers, all new to me..... I click the link to see my Auntie on there with a very suggestive username. I click on it and was surprised at the content! No nudes images, but very suggestive, boob's galore 🫣 lets say shes a large blessed lady. But I certainly didn't expect to see my auntie in a school uniform on all fours 🤦‍♀️ or wobbling her assets.

My first thought was.... oh my gosh what if my kids saw this or there friends. Shes also invited and telling ppl in the videos to check her only fans.

I happened to message my mother to see if she knew anything about this, she too was alarmed, she then told my dad (her brother) who wasn't particularly happy. Anyway its now caused a big family drama, causing her and my dad to fall out. Not what I intended. Now im left feeling like its my fault. I do feel bad, shes a grown woman, I just think personality she could have had the decency to have been more private about all this. The comments from total strangers were alarming alone. No consideration for the teens in our family trying to navigate this crazy world, I think of the backlash it could cause and humiliation. I don't want them seeing there great aunt suckling on her finger or wearing pvc lingerie.
My cousin (her daughter) got in touch to say she was disappointed and disgusted in her uncles attitude towards her mum. When I asked if she'd seen or knew about her OF and tik tok she said no, ive always told her im not interested in her content but shes assured me that its all about positive body image for larger ladies. 🤦‍♀️ But my take is if you're staying in the dark you wont see the concern others have. Its a tricky one.

Like I said, shes a grown adult not my business, but as a mum I feel very protective about the lads/teens in our family and if they or there mates came across all this. Its all been blown up 😫 and that wasn't my intention. It was just a bit of a shock, shes my auntie too, my dad did jump and i felt i didn't have time to approach it myself and maybe ask her to adjust her settings. He flew in because he wasn't happy about it. 🤦‍♀️

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LouiseK93 · 22/09/2026 16:06

Yea, you are a grown up capable of minding your own business, but didnt and made it everyone else's business by spreading it around.

LeaderBee · 22/09/2026 10:59

alphabetboxes · 20/09/2026 05:00

Why would you send that to your mother? What is wrong with men?!

Where does it say OP is a man?

AnnaBananamanana · 22/09/2026 10:55

I absolutely understand you OP. The world is cruel. But this is what it is. You should have spoken to her directly and raise your concern - I would do... The concern is not her OF or whatever is the fact that she makes it public.

I will tell you why I understand your concern - my aunt went through a life changing event where she ended up being severely depressed. She the recovered but she ended up being even more child like. This meant she would have a pet rabbit and play with it like a kid, she would be just an adult child... Once I had friends over and they saw my auntie chasing her rabbit. She just wanted to cuddle it. Nothing wrong IMO. The amount of abuse I got from them for that one little incident made me not invite these friends over anymore.

It made me tougher though:)

NaiceEagle · 22/09/2026 10:21

You are wise to not want your teens to see this and especially as it is by a family member.
It will be an opportunity for you to have conversations with them around this subject. P*rn does affect the brains of (some) teens causing mental health issues later.
Do warn your teens and have open conversations about this. Sadly your auntie sounds like a very needy person. (We are all needy and all needed in a sense, I know, but I do understand how hard and shocking it must be for you). Move on now and use this as conversation with your teens. She has been unwise on many levels .

11AndCounting · 21/09/2026 20:06

DeadSpace3 · 21/09/2026 18:19

At no point does OP, AI or otherwise, say their male. "They" do say they have a husband though.

But then MN wouldn't be the same without the men haters who post men hate just for the sake of it.

Yes, I'd be really surprised if the OP was a man, since they've given birth previously (per past threads).

DeadSpace3 · 21/09/2026 18:19

alphabetboxes · 20/09/2026 05:00

Why would you send that to your mother? What is wrong with men?!

At no point does OP, AI or otherwise, say their male. "They" do say they have a husband though.

But then MN wouldn't be the same without the men haters who post men hate just for the sake of it.

lilkitten · 21/09/2026 14:37

I wouldn't have got involved, and I definitely wouldn't have told the whole family. I have a few friends who do this on Instagram, TBF they don't show faces and you can't identify them. I wouldn't tell mutual friends if they aren't aware of it though, I don't see that it's any of my business

Bunny65 · 21/09/2026 13:18

I understand where the OP is coming from. This auntie sounds quite vulnerable and of course it’s worrying when it’s your family and also so public. These things can happen in the most unlikely of families and I’ve seen it cause huge upset. It’s not about being a “prude” or “nosey” and you can’t “mind your own business” when the person doing it doesn’t even understand privacy settings. Going on OF isn’t harmless, it can seriously affect a person’s wellbeing,, but because a few celebrities claim to have made millions people think it’s easy money. The vast majority don’t make much and it can easily spiral with subscribers demanding more for their money.

FrankAbagnalesLies · 21/09/2026 12:54

ForeverTheOptomist · 21/09/2026 12:01

It looks as though it all got a little out of control. It might have worked out better if you'd perhaps talked it through and got some advice from someone (family?) and spoken to the Aunt directly.

Anyway, what's 'OF' please? I've searched for it everywhere.

Only Fans

Blipette · 21/09/2026 12:34

Not your business, you just had to block her account and pretend you seen nothing. No need to tell the rest of your family.

ForeverTheOptomist · 21/09/2026 12:01

It looks as though it all got a little out of control. It might have worked out better if you'd perhaps talked it through and got some advice from someone (family?) and spoken to the Aunt directly.

Anyway, what's 'OF' please? I've searched for it everywhere.

Deboragh · 21/09/2026 08:58

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 04:04

Am I being unreasonable?

My eldest has asked for access to Tik Tok recently, I dont particularly use this platform myself so we agreed that until mum scopes it out and takes a look we'll hang fire, im not sure. Im very cautious with settings and so far its only WhatsApp my child uses. Snapchat was a definite no!

Anyway, whilst checking it and looking at my own (blank) account that I dont use i saw i had followers, all new to me..... I click the link to see my Auntie on there with a very suggestive username. I click on it and was surprised at the content! No nudes images, but very suggestive, boob's galore 🫣 lets say shes a large blessed lady. But I certainly didn't expect to see my auntie in a school uniform on all fours 🤦‍♀️ or wobbling her assets.

My first thought was.... oh my gosh what if my kids saw this or there friends. Shes also invited and telling ppl in the videos to check her only fans.

I happened to message my mother to see if she knew anything about this, she too was alarmed, she then told my dad (her brother) who wasn't particularly happy. Anyway its now caused a big family drama, causing her and my dad to fall out. Not what I intended. Now im left feeling like its my fault. I do feel bad, shes a grown woman, I just think personality she could have had the decency to have been more private about all this. The comments from total strangers were alarming alone. No consideration for the teens in our family trying to navigate this crazy world, I think of the backlash it could cause and humiliation. I don't want them seeing there great aunt suckling on her finger or wearing pvc lingerie.
My cousin (her daughter) got in touch to say she was disappointed and disgusted in her uncles attitude towards her mum. When I asked if she'd seen or knew about her OF and tik tok she said no, ive always told her im not interested in her content but shes assured me that its all about positive body image for larger ladies. 🤦‍♀️ But my take is if you're staying in the dark you wont see the concern others have. Its a tricky one.

Like I said, shes a grown adult not my business, but as a mum I feel very protective about the lads/teens in our family and if they or there mates came across all this. Its all been blown up 😫 and that wasn't my intention. It was just a bit of a shock, shes my auntie too, my dad did jump and i felt i didn't have time to approach it myself and maybe ask her to adjust her settings. He flew in because he wasn't happy about it. 🤦‍♀️

I'm horrified that a grown woman is dressing as a school girl. Yay well done, let's promote paedophilia. Sexualling children...nasty.

Lilrubes · 21/09/2026 08:22

CCb85 · 20/09/2026 04:04

Am I being unreasonable?

My eldest has asked for access to Tik Tok recently, I dont particularly use this platform myself so we agreed that until mum scopes it out and takes a look we'll hang fire, im not sure. Im very cautious with settings and so far its only WhatsApp my child uses. Snapchat was a definite no!

Anyway, whilst checking it and looking at my own (blank) account that I dont use i saw i had followers, all new to me..... I click the link to see my Auntie on there with a very suggestive username. I click on it and was surprised at the content! No nudes images, but very suggestive, boob's galore 🫣 lets say shes a large blessed lady. But I certainly didn't expect to see my auntie in a school uniform on all fours 🤦‍♀️ or wobbling her assets.

My first thought was.... oh my gosh what if my kids saw this or there friends. Shes also invited and telling ppl in the videos to check her only fans.

I happened to message my mother to see if she knew anything about this, she too was alarmed, she then told my dad (her brother) who wasn't particularly happy. Anyway its now caused a big family drama, causing her and my dad to fall out. Not what I intended. Now im left feeling like its my fault. I do feel bad, shes a grown woman, I just think personality she could have had the decency to have been more private about all this. The comments from total strangers were alarming alone. No consideration for the teens in our family trying to navigate this crazy world, I think of the backlash it could cause and humiliation. I don't want them seeing there great aunt suckling on her finger or wearing pvc lingerie.
My cousin (her daughter) got in touch to say she was disappointed and disgusted in her uncles attitude towards her mum. When I asked if she'd seen or knew about her OF and tik tok she said no, ive always told her im not interested in her content but shes assured me that its all about positive body image for larger ladies. 🤦‍♀️ But my take is if you're staying in the dark you wont see the concern others have. Its a tricky one.

Like I said, shes a grown adult not my business, but as a mum I feel very protective about the lads/teens in our family and if they or there mates came across all this. Its all been blown up 😫 and that wasn't my intention. It was just a bit of a shock, shes my auntie too, my dad did jump and i felt i didn't have time to approach it myself and maybe ask her to adjust her settings. He flew in because he wasn't happy about it. 🤦‍♀️

Quite honestly I would have been shocked too. I would have talked to my mum about it as well! So I'm with you on this 100%

x2boys · 21/09/2026 08:17

Deepf60 · 21/09/2026 08:14

Not necessarily, my mums sister is only 4 years older than me. Big family and age gap between the oldest and youngest

I dont think the pp said otherwise ?
They were just pointing out their own personal circumstances .

Deepf60 · 21/09/2026 08:14

unlikelychump · 20/09/2026 05:36

Im in my 40s too which makes my aunts past 70. So I would be somewhat alarmed to discover this.

Not necessarily, my mums sister is only 4 years older than me. Big family and age gap between the oldest and youngest

LobeliaCider · 21/09/2026 08:14

You are being unreasonable.

It looks like you have looked at these images in detail and then gone around the family moralising about something that's none of your business.

Your aunt is certainly embarrassing herself and I fully understand why you might feel mortified to have witnessed your aunt's "alternative" personna, but scrutinising the images and outing her to her family was very unreasonable.

Your "Ooo, it's horrible, I must look at more of it" reaction is a bit weird too.

A decent person would have looked away at the first glance and kept the knowledge of it to themself.

Whoowhoopitstbesoundofthedapolice · 21/09/2026 08:00

You ask what we would do, and honestly, after I'd stopped laughing my arse off, I'd have spoken to her and warned her others will see it and it might be wise to speak to those that might be affected in some way. But seeing as gossip is the worst that could probably happen I'd leave it with them ....but also slightly rib them for it .. Good natured like, as families normally do.

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 21/09/2026 06:57

This is a really good book to read.

As for discovering aunty has an OF account, oh dear!! Yeah, she wasn’t tech savvy enough to know how to be discrete and private from personal people in her life. Learning curve for her here maybe.

You’re not responsible for other people’s reactions.

What would you do if you found out your auntie was on OF?
maxslice · 21/09/2026 03:11

I’m reminded of the time my aunt sprained her ankle badly in the woods near her house. She was elderly, couldn’t walk, and it took a couple of hours before someone found her and helped her get home. Afterward, she said to me, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to do street walking.” I said, “Okay. Let me know how that goes for you.” She was an innocent who’d have found OF disgusting and unconscionable.

maxslice · 21/09/2026 03:06

Happycat74 · 20/09/2026 22:33

Did anyone else read that as her mum and dad were siblings or is it just me?!

Nope. Not just you.

Buffs · 21/09/2026 03:04

Not your business

VividPinkTraybake · 21/09/2026 00:04

cornflakecrunchie · 20/09/2026 22:05

Not RTFT but poor OP!!
I feel very sorry for her being attacked by everyone, I'm surprised people still post their worries & concerns here, the way other posters turn on them. I can see why some women get called bitches, tbh..

If you think any of his qas a genuine request for advice then I would have a reflection on your critical thinking

VividPinkTraybake · 21/09/2026 00:03

Zfactorstar · 20/09/2026 05:25

This reads as a fetish post.

Only if the fetish involves jumping over a shark

maxslice · 20/09/2026 23:40

GarlicSomething · 20/09/2026 23:00

Thanks, I thought it must be some fetish thing! They must have left the law, though, surely.

One hopes.

GarlicSomething · 20/09/2026 23:00

maxslice · 20/09/2026 19:33

Kings Counsel. A high level barrister..

Edited

Thanks, I thought it must be some fetish thing! They must have left the law, though, surely.