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Original poster

5 year old left alone for half an hour in changing room

52 replies

Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 21:01

My ex took our two children to a swimming class The five year old wouldn't get changed so he took the three year old into the pool and left the five year old by the door to the changing room, pool side. Five year old went into the changing room, told me they were running around in there for the duration of the half hour lesson, out of sight of the pool and their dad. I am beyond shocked and surely not unreasonable to be very concerned about future contact? He's previously built up contact from a contact center to one overnight a week.

OP posts:
Goditsmemargaret · 19/09/2026 21:05

Well it depends I guess. You've hears the child's version. Dad left him in sight and am I correct that dad stayed in the water with younger child? Maybe older son went in and out a bit of changing room. Not ideal though no, I'd be very worried about who else might be in the dressing room.
.

Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 21:05

His dad confirmed it

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Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 21:06

Yes he was doing the swimming lesson in the pool with three year old

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BudgetBuster · 19/09/2026 21:07

Absolutely not unreasonable whatsoever.

What if the 5yr old left the building? What if they slipped and fell? What if someone took them?

Have you spoken to your ex? Did he even tell you this himself or just the child? Tbh if it were me, I'd be trying to talk to someone about safety concerns. When did he graduate from contact centre?

Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 21:09

He told me via text and when I questioned it said it was my fault for not coming along to supervise, so he had no other option. Less than a year from contact centre.

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Jk987 · 19/09/2026 21:10

Should have taken them for a fun swim not bothered with lessons.

GrantMyWishes · 19/09/2026 21:10

I certainly wouldn't be at all happy about this, anything could have happened. Your Ex is obviously not capable of managing two children at a swimming pool, which is a very unsafe environment for a young child left alone, in all sorts of ways. Is the swimming a regular thing for him to take them to?

Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 21:11

Only been a couple of weeks, he's always struggled, especially with multiple

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Floppyearedlab · 19/09/2026 21:12

It’s not good, but your 5 year old should be doing as he is told.

BudgetBuster · 19/09/2026 21:14

Floppyearedlab · 19/09/2026 21:12

It’s not good, but your 5 year old should be doing as he is told.

Obviously the child should be dojng as he is told, but he's a child. Just because he's throwing a strop.or whatever doesn't excuse his parent from leaving him in a seriously dangerous position on purpose!

2cantkeepasecret · 19/09/2026 21:14

I wouldn't be happy with that but I would have made the 5 year old get changed. Has he took the both before?

Ohnobackagain · 19/09/2026 21:16

@Swimmingpoolissue do you think he actually wants to have both together or is he self-sabotaging and relying on you feeling you have to step in - then he can blame you? I’d try to manage things so that he doesn’t take them swimming but does something else where this kind of thing would be less likely … although if this was the first time maybe the child was trying it on a bit and things could settle down?

FannybygaslightinGovan · 19/09/2026 21:16

Floppyearedlab · 19/09/2026 21:12

It’s not good, but your 5 year old should be doing as he is told.

WTF??? Don't put this on the child. The ADULT shouldn't leave a five year old on his own!

Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 21:18

It was the third time and the five year old has told me they find it scary. Contact between me and my ex is very limited due to a non mol I have against him.

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BudgetBuster · 19/09/2026 21:19

Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 21:09

He told me via text and when I questioned it said it was my fault for not coming along to supervise, so he had no other option. Less than a year from contact centre.

I was going to ask does the pool have a quota for how many kids one adult can be looking after at a time.

I assume this was his contact time. Maybe if he can't handle both together he should only be taking one at a time. But tbh I'd go berserk over this and be looking into my options. Water safety is no joking matter.

Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 21:34

Not ratios for swimming lessons. This was my worry, it takes seconds for them to run into the pool when he's distracted and far away in the pool, plus the changing rooms are for a whole busy leisure centre and lead to the reception which leads to a busy car park then the main road.

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TickingKey46 · 19/09/2026 21:47

I would suggest he only has one child at a time. The changing rooms are no place for a child to be left!
There was so many other options!!

Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 22:07

Definitely. A swimming lessons isn't the be all and end all, a childs safety is a little more important. He just doesn't get it or think he's done anything wrong.

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PunnyPlumPanda · 19/09/2026 22:12

Why wouldn’t the 5 yr old get changed?

itstoolateforsnacks · 19/09/2026 22:15

Very concerning. As a parent we all have to deal with scenarios that are a bit of a nightmare, but that this was his solution to the problem is very worrying. Even more worrying is him thinking he’s done nothing wrong, a clear indicator it would happen again.

Hankunamatata · 19/09/2026 22:16

So dad was sitting on side watching swim lesson?

Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 22:16

I don't know why five year old wouldn't get changed, I think fear of the water and not enjoying the lessons possibly. Yes I agree, I'm worried he doesn't see the problem.

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Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 22:17

No he was in the water with the three year old, during the lesson.

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Purpleelephantsandunicorns · 19/09/2026 22:18

Who mandated the contact centre and has monitored progress? Social services? You might need to get back in touch.

Original poster
Swimmingpoolissue · 19/09/2026 22:19

Yeah social services and the court. It had crossed my mind.

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