AIBU to apologise to my old best friend after drifting apart due to my relationship?

You’ve done nothing wrong. Life moves on, and it’s natural to spend time with new partners.

She actually sounds a bit possessive and jealous. Communication works two ways. What has she done to stay in friendship with you? She’s the type of person that makes you feel guilty and responsible her happiness. If you’re not dancing to her tune, then she’s not happy

By all means, send the message. If nothing else, it will give you closure on the friendship, and you know you’ve done your best.

Yes this is what jumped out at me, too. The friend doesn’t sound great.

I’m not sure you did much wrong here. She sounds like she was a bit resentful of you having more luck with dating than her, and made some quite horrible comments about it. There is nothing wrong with you meeting someone and spending time with them- friendships naturally change when this happens and it sounds like you did still see her during this time? You couldn’t help the migraine and did try and reschedule. I would just leave it.

Honestly if someone said to me ‘how are you so lucky with men? You’re not even that pretty!’ That person would not be someone I considered a friend!

you do sound like you were a bad friend. I would leave it.

I'm not fan of people ditching good friends when they get a partner but this doesn't sound like a good friend at all.

Agree, I think the friend making these comments is a toxic person, and likely to have been the cause of the toxicity in the shared house she had to move out of

Do you have other friends in your new hometown now? If not maybe it’s better to put the energy into exploring a wider social life if you are missing something?

She let it fade too…

She doesn’t sound like a good friend to you. I’d leave it.

It sounds like she has moved on and doesn’t see you as a friend.

Stop texting her, she will probably not notice.

She sounds like an arsehole? Friends don't make mean comments about each other's appearance. She also sounded tone deaf about money and a bit controlling. Leave it be.

I would question why you think this. It sounds like she made insensitive comments. You seem to be assuming you hurt her but she has probably moved on and found new friends. In truth she could well have done the same to you if she met someone. So in short dont sweat it.

I probably wouldn’t apologise, friendships move on sometimes when we get to different stages in life. Friendship is a two way street so if she’s now not giving much back I’d just accept the friendship isn’t what it used to be.

I’m not usually a fan of people ditching their friends just because they’re in a relationship. However this person doesn’t seem much of a friend to say this:

She struggled a lot with her dating life. There was some barbed comments from her to me during living together, basically “I don’t know how you get all these men? I wouldn’t say you’re pretty, I guess you’re attractive”. (I didn’t “get” men - I had dated 2 men in the time I knew her

It’s best you just maintain your silence and go your separate ways.

She has probably moved on but it would be nice. I have always been the friend on the receiving end of this. My closest friends will ditch me when they get boyfriends and then suddenly reach back if their relationship went to shit.. I always made effort to stay in touch, even now that my life is moving on. They are all back to dating after 10 year long relationships and I am pregnant.. they ditched me again 🤷‍♀️ the ones that check in semi occasionally I speak to, but a few I blocked altogether. No one ever apologised and while i don’t think that would have saves the relationship, I would have appreciated it and would make me feel less used. If you don’t expect anything, just sent the message and apologise!

Does she respond to your messages when you send them?