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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask husband to tie his shoe laces?

14 replies

myappletreeisladen · 19/09/2026 18:56

We went to watch son playing a rugby match today, quite a social occasion with lots of fellow parents and friends there. Husband kindly gets changed out of smelly work clothes but we arrive and his shoe laces are wide open and hanging everywhere. These are brown leather shoes so it’s not a fashion statement.
I ask him if he could do them up (because he looks a tw*t) and he refuses. About an hour later I ask again and explain that I feel embarrassed. He admits he’s not going to because he doesn’t like being told what to do.

After nearly 2 hours, when we’re leaving, he does them up.

YABU - it’s nothing to do with me and if he wants to have his laces undone he can.
YANBU - any grown man with a modicum of self respect would do their flipping laces up.

OP posts:
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Original poster
myappletreeisladen · 19/09/2026 19:43

Ok, so I was being unreasonable. Good to know! Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
ColdAsAWitches · 19/09/2026 19:12

myappletreeisladen · 19/09/2026 19:08

I did point it out. I didn’t tell him to do them up. My exact words were “your shoe laces are undone”.

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That's not what you originally posted. And even if that is what you said, you pointed it out, job done. Claiming to be embarrassed by it is ridiculous.

puppysleepdeprivation · 19/09/2026 19:11

I wouldn't personally be impressed if my husband had to be asked to change out of actually dirty clothes before going in public (or in a car). The shoelace thing... I don't know that I'd care that much, but I would find it odd if he made of point of not tying them, especially if he was refusing to tie them because I'd pointed out that they were loose.

It sounds like the two of you don't get along very well at the moment.

bunnypenny · 19/09/2026 19:09

myappletreeisladen · 19/09/2026 19:08

I did point it out. I didn’t tell him to do them up. My exact words were “your shoe laces are undone”.

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That’s not what your OP says.

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2026 19:09

Did you think your observation was a surprise to him 😂

Original poster
myappletreeisladen · 19/09/2026 19:08

TheTortiePuffinNeedsHerBreakfast · 19/09/2026 19:06

You tell a child to do up their shoelaces. You point out to an adult that their laces are undone.

I did point it out. I didn’t tell him to do them up. My exact words were “your shoe laces are undone”.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 19/09/2026 19:07

The language you use about your husband has a smell of contempt OP. I think I'd actually like to hear his story.

Original poster
myappletreeisladen · 19/09/2026 19:06

Motnight · 19/09/2026 19:03

He "kindly gets changed"? What does this mean?

It means that given the opportunity, he would have gone in work clothes, which would have involved probably getting cow or sheep shit in my car but instead, he put some clean trousers on. Surely that’s normal?

OP posts:
TheTortiePuffinNeedsHerBreakfast · 19/09/2026 19:06

You tell a child to do up their shoelaces. You point out to an adult that their laces are undone.

MassiveOvaryaction · 19/09/2026 19:04

Sounds like you were nit picking for the sake of it tbh.

Did you think his undone shoes reflected badly on you?

Motnight · 19/09/2026 19:03

He "kindly gets changed"? What does this mean?

Overthebow · 19/09/2026 19:03

His shoes, he can wear them how he wants.

mtobrokeme · 19/09/2026 19:00

You talk about your husband as though he’s a child!

bunnypenny · 19/09/2026 18:58

This is not something that I would remotely give a fuck about. If he wants to trip over his laces and/or look like a twat, he can go for it.