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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I the asshole?

109 replies

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 17:53

I’m on holiday in a European country.

Stopped at a tourist site that’s free to enter, and open air (so not a museum etc.).
The site contains a number of items of interest- let’s say they’re sculptures.

Lots of tourists wandering around, going from sculpture to sculpture, taking photos etc.

I got to a particular sculpture which is quite large and round and there weren’t many people at it. I was looking at it for a few second. Spotted a man at the other side of the sculpture waving at me. I cocked my head towards him to see what he wanted and he gestured to show that he wanted to take a photo but wanted me to move out of the way (literally flapped his wrist in a “shoo” motion and pointed to where I should stand instead) so I wouldn’t be in the way. I said it’s fine, I don’t mind if I’m in the background, and he said he wanted me to move because he just wanted a photo of the sculpture without anyone in it.

I laughed and stayed where I was until I was ready to move away and see the next sculpture.

He got very irate when I wouldn’t move, and started gesturing in quite an animated way for me to move out of his frame.

Interestingly, just as I was leaving, another man came along and the first man didn’t ask him to move at all.

Was IBU? Because I think that, if you’re a tourist amongst tourists at a busy sightseeing spot, you don’t get to dictate where people can and cannot stand.

OP posts:
ratatouillemousesqueak · 19/09/2026 19:22

I’d have just moved over for a few seconds to let him take the photo then moved back.

yes he may have been rude but I just couldn’t be bothered with the drama

Notsosweetcaroline · 19/09/2026 19:20

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 19:16

A bit outing in terms of my current destination, but here’s the snap I took. The man is directly opposite. (Photo will take a few mins to appear)

If he was unable to take a photo without anyone directly in it from his perspective, he needed to move. Like I said, lots of tourists around, and I managed to get a shot without anyone in it.

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do You know his nationality? If you’re in Iceland doing tourist stuff he could have been from anywhere, again, I’d have just have moved, no biggie.

Createausername1970 · 19/09/2026 19:19

I would move out of the way for people taking photos.

I think it's an age thing in many ways. I remember buying a 24 exposure film for a weeks holiday and that was it, 24 photos, unless you bought another film.

Nowadays photos are free and we can take 24 photos in an hour, so the etiquette around photos has become less.

Maybe the person didn't know what nationality you were, so a shooing gesture would work in any language.

Original poster
BadLayout · 19/09/2026 19:16

fumingrightnow1 · 19/09/2026 18:58

Sounds like he was about to take a photo and you walked into shot. Shooing is rude In england and I would expect someone to ask nicely but you wasn't in england so you potentially have a language barrier and a different set of acceptable and unacceptable gestures. I would of moved

A bit outing in terms of my current destination, but here’s the snap I took. The man is directly opposite. (Photo will take a few mins to appear)

If he was unable to take a photo without anyone directly in it from his perspective, he needed to move. Like I said, lots of tourists around, and I managed to get a shot without anyone in it.

Was I the asshole?
OP posts:
GingerCatLove · 19/09/2026 19:16

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 18:44

Nope. I’ve seen them in California and they’re amazing. Don’t think we have any in Europe?

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We have about half a million in the UK @BadLayout with the tallest I believe living at Kew.
Reference the moving when being shooed - you were not wrong as you have no idea how long they will be.
I have frequently moved for people to take a photo and then waited as they took ages.

CherryViper · 19/09/2026 19:15

Nta

Had they asked politely, I might have stepped aside for a moment. Shooing wouldn't work on me. He was very rude and can be as irate as he liked.

SouthLondonMum22 · 19/09/2026 19:14

Notsosweetcaroline · 19/09/2026 19:11

Again, they may not have spoken the same language

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Shooing someone away is rude in all languages.

Other options are available, especially without an attempt to ask if OP speaks English/French/whatever. Not to mention also with a phone right there in his hand.

He was rude.

JaneFoe · 19/09/2026 19:13

TeenLifeMum · 19/09/2026 19:06

In London people take photos on Westminster bridge and I move out of their way 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Does all the traffic stop for them too?

If you live in London, how much time are you really spending blocking the view to Westminster Bridge.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/09/2026 19:12

I think you were both assholes.

I'd have moved, it only takes a few seconds to let him get a few shots, yet you're now spending time on this non-event by doing a MN post.

Notsosweetcaroline · 19/09/2026 19:11

SouthLondonMum22 · 19/09/2026 19:10

He was rude not to ask nicely in the first place. If you want someone to do something for you, they are more likely to do it if you are nice about it.

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Again, they may not have spoken the same language

Notsosweetcaroline · 19/09/2026 19:11

saraclara · 19/09/2026 19:09

I think a lot of posters have missed the point, which was that he didn't ask, he just rudely gestured.

I'm at pains to move out of people's photos, and like OP, will offer to take them for people. But if someone just glared at me and made shooing gesture I'd be very pissed off. Especially if I'd only need there for less then ten seconds.

No one is missing the point, except maybe you, which is signalling to move is not rude everywhere, and when in an overseas tourist spot you don’t know thr nationality of the other person, or if you speak the same language, so a gesture to move is simply a quick way to communicate your request.

SouthLondonMum22 · 19/09/2026 19:10

ToadRage · 19/09/2026 18:25

I think it was quite rude of you to not move away so he could take a nice photo. It the place was crowded it may not have been a problem but you were the only one spoiling his picture and YATA.

He was rude not to ask nicely in the first place. If you want someone to do something for you, they are more likely to do it if you are nice about it.

saraclara · 19/09/2026 19:09

I think a lot of posters have missed the point, which was that he didn't ask, he just rudely gestured.

I'm at pains to move out of people's photos, and like OP, will offer to take them for people. But if someone just glared at me and made shooing gesture I'd be very pissed off. Especially if I'd only need there for less then ten seconds.

TeenLifeMum · 19/09/2026 19:06

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 18:39

I know I’ve said it’s a sculpture, but the thing we were both looking at was a naturally occurring object and quite big so me being in the photo really wouldn’t have been a photo “of” me. I can’t imagine that anyone looking at the photo would have taken any notice of the fact that there was a person somewhere in it. Because I was standing at roughly a 180° angle from him, I’m also not convinced that I would have been in any photo he took- the thing we were looking at was taller and wider than a person.

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In London people take photos on Westminster bridge and I move out of their way 🤷🏻‍♀️

justbecauseyoucandoesntmeanyoushouldx · 19/09/2026 19:04

YANBU - I work in a very touristy part of London and tourists taking up the whole pavement to get a photo of x or y landmark drives me insane. Selfies are actually ok as they stand to the side but when it's one person taking a photo of a group and expecting people to walk in the road around them or wait while they take umpteen shots... nope. I've been at work all day and want to get home to my kids.

AlwaysExtraHot · 19/09/2026 19:04

I’m saying YANBU because he clearly behaved differently with you than with the other man. Points off for sexism.

GingerdeadMan · 19/09/2026 19:03

C152 · 19/09/2026 18:38

This reminds me of the queues of people waiting to get a photo at the top of Snowdon. I think we're generally too obsessed with taking photos now. It's more important to actually be in the moment than take a photo of the moment. You were enjoying seeing the object. Why couldn't he wait until you'd finished viewing it to take his all important photo?

This!

Why do the people taking photos in busy places expect priority?

It means other people can't just enjoy the experience for constantly dodging photographers.

Once upon a time they politely waited their turn, now the minute someone whips out a lens (which is constant, because everyone has a camera phone in their pocket), everyone is expected to make way.

I mean obviously if it was really quiet its different - but then why couldn't he have waited 30 seconds for the OP?

2107emc · 19/09/2026 19:02

I don't think i could have restrained myself from flipping a double-bird his way and stood in that gesture long enough for him to take my photo.

HappiestSleeping · 19/09/2026 19:01

@BadLayout I agree that he could have asked more politely, or even signalled more politely.

Or, if he knew how to work his camera properly, he could have taken the photo without you needing to move, and without you being in it.

Original poster
BadLayout · 19/09/2026 19:00

BlueandtheGodofMischief · 19/09/2026 18:50

I'd have moved if he'd asked but shooing motions ... sod that.

Think that was very much it for me! Like I said, I travel a lot, very much used to working around fellow tourists, and getting out of the way of locals. Often end up offering to take pics for people if they’re relying on selfies and missing out on a great opportunity for a lovely photo.

I was just so pissed off at a man* deciding that he had more of a right to look at something than anyone else. In a place literally designed for lots of people to look at things.

(* And it’s not always men. Something similar happened to me a few years ago in Lucerne when a woman stepped off a tour bus, pushed her way to the top of a queue for the Lion y and told me to step back because she was in a hurry and wanted a photo- people are just nuts).

OP posts:
StarPyjamas · 19/09/2026 18:59

Yet another poster asking if they’ve been unreasonable, and point blank refusing to accept it when some say they are.

Notsosweetcaroline · 19/09/2026 18:58

He probably didn’t know if you both spoke the same language so was signing so you’d understand. I understand you want to turn this into some misogynistic man and feminist position, but it really was unlikely to be that deep, so yeah you were the arsehole.

fumingrightnow1 · 19/09/2026 18:58

Sounds like he was about to take a photo and you walked into shot. Shooing is rude In england and I would expect someone to ask nicely but you wasn't in england so you potentially have a language barrier and a different set of acceptable and unacceptable gestures. I would of moved

mcmooberry · 19/09/2026 18:54

Would have done just as you did, shooing someone like that is incredibly rude. I once totally lost my shit at my niece doing it to me when I walked in front on the television and paused for a second. Am shocked by some of these responses.

bunnypenny · 19/09/2026 18:52

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 18:40

Wasn’t it?

Because within ten second of arriving at something, I was being told to move.

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He asked you to move, not stop looking at it. There was no maximum length of time to look at this item being prescribed by a man because you are a woman.

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