Stressful incident on motorway, scared

You have to stop, and start up again when there's a gap. But normally people will slow a bit so there is one.

He shouldn't have beeped you. You had no choice. He's an idiot!

Absolutely.

Whilst it's courteous to do if you can, it's absolutely not requested. The responsibility for identifying and slotting in on sliproads is solely on the joining driver. No one needs to make room for you.

I tend to just carry on at a constant speed and let them join on their own steam unless it's a very short slip road or I can see someone is running out of room. But it's a personal choice.

I had one once (on a slow urban dual carriageway, only 40mph, shortish sliproad), with a car that wouldn't let me join. I accelerated and he matched me, I slowed and he matched me, blocking me off and staying parallel with me. I was shaking by the end and had to come to a stop. I've really hated sliproads since.

Don't ever trust the driver in front of you (they may have only passed there test a few days ago compared to your few weeks for all you know!!), drive your own drive, treat them like an idiot and give yourself space going down the slipway so you can plan your own merge without having to guess what they may or may not do.
Space is key when driving - lesson learned!

You absolutely shouldn't get stressed out by this, @Nooooope . We've all been there as new drivers and I promise you it rapidly gets easier. Could you practice it once or twice at a time and place where you know traffic will be light?

If you had to brake on the slip road because of the car in front slowed down it sounds like you were possibly to close to car in front as they adjusted to the actual motorway speed and conditions..

Given you are asking for advice I would say try to judge the road you are merging into as early as possible (as soon as you can glimpse from the slip or even better roundabout above if it’s that type of slip road) what speed are they actually doing, 40, 50, 60, 70? And how busy is it? Don’t get too close to the car in front on the slip road so you give yourself maximum flexibility to speed up or slow down yourself to merge into a gap and don’t expect anyone on the motorway to create a gap.

You’ll get better with practice - it is different on a Saturday afternoon compared to rush hour compared to Sunday morning.

What a dick. I've had encounters like this and it's always men who engage in this sort of stuff. Some women are shit or aggressive drivers but they don't tend to try to scare others or goad them like this.

It's not that you shouldn't do those things, it's that it's not always safe or possible, so the person merging shouldn't expect it, if that makes sense.

Can you link to where it's specifically prohibited in the Highway Code? I've had a quick look and couldn't find anything.

The highway code includes 'SHOULD' and 'MUST' in it's rules, 'should' means if you don't do it you are a bit of a dick, 'must' means you are breaking the law and heading in to dangerous driving territory, which potentially carrys a custodial sentence if you kill someone whilst doing or not doing something written as 'must' or 'must not'.

Eg. You 'must' not straddle or cross a double white line where the nearest line to you is solid.... = dangerous driving.

It sounds like you did the right thing by stopping / slowing down. However, it’s not up to people on the motorway to move or slow down as a lot of people in the comments have stated, the onus is on the person joining the motorway, to change their speed and fit in where they can. So keep checking your mirror, see if you can judge their speed and either slow down or speed up to get in front or behind them. It does get easier with experience, don’t let it put you off driving. There is also the possibility that the guy who beeped was an absolute dick who adjusted his speed to deliberately not let you join, I’ve had that before. The most important thing is to be safe and keep others safe on the road, which is what you did ❤️

Nothing will happen. This time next week (probably sooner) this will be a distant memory. This kind of thing is so common, it’s just par for the course if you drive on busy roads. The first time I went out alone after passing my test, I nearly clipped a cyclist. Ended up taking an Advanced Drivers exam years later, and still sometimes get it wrong, as do we all.

That is usually true but there is one particular point coming out of the city where I used to work where , during evening rush hour, people on the motorway would often be packed tight doing at least 50, sometimes 60 or 70. If they were doing 20 it would have been fairly easily doable, 30-40 nervewracking , 50 plus was fucking terrifying. You'd have the indicator on (shouldn't be necessary really- if you're coming up the slip you only have one legal intention!) speed matching, desperately trying to make eye contact with someone to let you on, whilst also trying to keep one eye on the rear view to see how close the next car coming up the slip was and your third eye on the hatch/hard shoulder as the escape route. I hated it, I never actually had to resort to the hard shoulder or an emergency stop but came close a few times which is heart poundingly horrible. OP, you have my sympathies.

I think bits of motorway like that should have speed limits at certain times of day. If some sort of AI auto-sensor could detect lots of cars going too fast, too tight, then it could trigger temporary speed limit boards to light up, slow the motorway down and give everyone more of a chances to create gaps for merging cars.

You stop. It’s not ideal but fundamentally you’re joining and if you can’t join safely you stop. Be prepared for a driver in front of you on the slip road to slow or stop too.

i think the posts of “this is scary” are less aimed at you (you’re unsure and asking questions which is good) but at the many other posted who are confidently wrong

No it’s good advice but it’s not compulsory so you should expect other drivers to not do that for you. If they are nice and do so, happy days

I have run out of road twice before when merging onto the M25 (from Leatherhead) but nowhere else.

It does happen sometimes. No fucker will let you out and it’s continuous traffic.

Try not to dwell on it. 💐

THIS is the kind of post that’s scary…

I have ended up on the hard shoulder before now. Then, I just carried on gently on the hard shoulder for a bit to clear all the junction, then booted it up to 50+ and indicated to join the carriageway.

Bear in mind, OP, that you can go up to 60+ in third gear so don't be afraid to use all the available acceleration of the car in this situation.

If auto, just stamp fully on the pedal (kick down) and the full power of the car will be available.

No need to get out of the car and go up the bank..

Why drive all the way to the end of the slip road? I join at the earliest possibility or I gauge the traffic as I am joining and use the slip road to either speed up or slow down to allow me to merge in. Much easier if there is slow traffic to slow down further up the slip road than wait until you're at the end.

Yeah I must admit I winced reading that. Wtf? What happened to stopping at the end of the slip road and waiting until a gap appears? Instead listing the options as basically ramming your car into someone else's or barrelling down the hard shoulder at 70 mph.

You need some lessons in motorway driving.

Much better to fix this now and gain the skills and experience you need with someone in the car who can teach you and help you do so safely.

Only an arrogant, selfish idiot drives knowing that his or her skills aren't what they should be. You'll be doing the mature, responsible thing if you book some extra tuition and afterwards driving will be less stressful.

Then you have to stop at the end of the slip road if you can't merge. Is this not in your theory test?

In practice I've never had to stop at the end of the slip road, but you should know the basics of merging. You need to match your speed to the road, you need to find space and not expect the car on the motorway to adjust their speed.

Many cars will be courteous and move over or create space, and again this is what I would do. But it is essentially a courtesy and you cant rely on it.

You have go anticipate that other people will do stupid things. Leave enough space and slow down sooner if you realise you're getting too close. And too close means can still fit a good two or three cars in there btw